Once upon a time

Mylifes Life should, yes, but not your real life - You will live so long and be so happy. You will watch your children grow up and make lives for themselves. You will be there for them at their darkest moments.

You will be happy..

interesting twist, qwerky. Both mylife and I are one and the same.....

She sighed, and then sighed again.

Why? why was she ever born. She was the mistake of the family, and that is that. She was unexpected, a nasty surprize.

Why? why was she here

She has fought, and is frought with thoughts. Beth has had enough.

Enough smiling, enough pleasentries, enough of everything,

She wonders why? why are we here...

Her life is a tragic movie. Tragic, tragic, tragic. And tragic to everyone who knows her. She taints people. A bad influence. A really bad influence.

She is ready to die and die she will.

her plans are in place, maybe not for today, maybe not for tommorrow, but it will happen

Hi Mylife, thenothing, Beth - Im concerned by what you have written here where you have basically said you have plans to kill yourself. That leaves all of us here in a really difficult position, because you are saying that and we are powerless to do anything. So what are we suppose to do? Did you want to make us all worried about you? because you have suceeded in doing that with me. If you are feeling that way you need to reach out to somebody, somebody who knows who you are and can actually do something. Ring the Mental Health Emergency line (the Crisis team) if you need to.

Dont worry about it Maisie,

I won't post anymore anywhere if it is what is best.

I'll keep my secrets, inside.

Life's a Bitch, and then you........................

Alot of time has passed since she last had this. This feeling of anger, worthlessness, tiredness, impatience and self loathing.

She woke and 'BAM' it was there.

Beth didn't want to be fussed over, she didn't want visitors and she certainly didn't want to live.

Lifes' pressures were by far to big for her this morning.

She hated herself, and her life. She hated everything and everyone - even her husband and children.

She started out the day yelling, screaming at her children and they cried. She felt awful, guilty and more self loathing as she couldn't break her cycle.

All Beth wanted to do was die.

Her feeling were really true and turmolic - she was torn. Does she leave the life she leads, or does she just leave life?

Her head-space was not clear, it was confused and beaten.

Hating her life, but loving her children she thought, and thought some more. She was doing them an injustice by living with them, and would be doing an injustice by living with out them.

She hated this, life being a can of serpents...spewing out uncontrollably...each one slipping between her fingers as she caught them out of control. There was no way around it... they were out of control.

FML I wish it was over

She hated her life. She wished it was over.

She was out of work once again. Her husband mistrusted her so much he looked on the history on the computer, checked her facebook messages and checked her phone messages and txts everyday.

She hated the level of trust he didn't have.

She hated her life.

She will find a way. She knew what to do.