hi all, im a newbie here, found this place thanks to trademe while browsing.

I am suffering from some sort of depression, triggered by alot of different issues which has been going on for about the last 4 years. About a month ago, after yet another heated argument with my partner I just snapped, and i guess reached breaking point and tried to hang myself. Thank god my partner found me on time, and am greatful to still be here. I havent felt like the same me before the incident and find it hard to get into any kind of a routine, and have to really push myself to get through the day, which is a real battle with my 2 little ones being under 4. Ive seen my gp who has referred me on to councilling, of which i dont have an appointment till october 1st, and so thought i might be able to come on this mb and find people who understand what im going through, or who may be able to relate to me and can offer me some advice. Sorry if i dont make complete sense.

Hi mumof3monkeys ...... Pleased you've come to join us here. Welcome.

I'm sure you'll find this site beneficial - there are lots of topics to have a look at when you feel like it!

There's a 'chatbox' at the bottom of the home page - people come and go at different times of the day - you need to 'log-in' to take part, if you'd like to.

Of course you make sense! Most of us have depression and understand the ups and downs, tiredness, silly thoughts, etc, etc of the condition.

Thanks for choosing to join us at TBBD.

Daze

Hi there, it is really nice to meet you. Most of us here have experienced a lot of the things you mentioned (without the two little ones to look after) so you are in good company. Looking forward to getting to know you better as time goes by. I'm sure you'll find this site as friendly and helpful as I have.

I am so pleased that you have found the site helpful bluebird, i certainly have.

I must admit tho - i am addicted and tend to log on more than I should! It must be because they are such a great bunch of people!

Morning mumof3monkeys and a very big welcome to you.

afternoon all, thank you for the warm welcome, i do appreciate it, i will be back on later tonight as i have to take care of the mum duties, just thought id pop in, look forward to getting to know more people here, and getting use to this place.

I managed to get a much earlier appointment to see a counsellor thanks to a cancellation, so am off there tomorrow morning. Its the first session of my 6 free sessions, am a little nervous as its all new to me and not sure what to expect. I dont really want to go on any meds, i did once and didnt like it at all, i thought i may have been suffering from pnd but when i look back at things it was more a case of relationship problems and stress, things i guess i will talk in length about with the counsellor. Im just glad i have a place to come to and be able to talk about this, as i dont talk about it with anyone else.

Hi mum of 3 monkeys , you poor thing lucky your partner found you in time , i am new here also i also found this on trademe , i have been diagnosed with depression about 2 weeks ago , i am currently on medication i am feeling a bit better but yes i found this site really helpful , i didnt know anything about this illness but my partner and i have begun to understand a bit better i suggest you look for a book called "taming the big black dog" we have found this really great i can now see the difference between who is me and who is the illness there is also a page here for partners my partner has found this really helpful , warm welcome to you and like i have been told this is a positive thing because now you know what is wrong you can now work on it , good luck for tomorrow ...chin up and see you round ....

Hi again, just wanted to let you know that Paddy has a number of books available to borrow, just click on TBBD Lending Libary. I just had a wee look and the book Taming the big black dog is available through one of our other members, so have a look at that topic and you may be able to borrow rather than buy. Hope this is of help, Pam

Hi mumof3monkeys. Hope it all goes well for you tomorrow. Look forward to catching up with your progress.

hi ragamuffin thanks for your kind words and suggestion of the book, I actually read that book about 3yrs ago and also found it to be a great book, unfortunately i sold it about a year later when i was cleaning out the clutter, so will probably have to take your advice peterpam and look at the library in here, im still getting to know this place. Thanks bluebird im hoping tomorrow goes well too, i feel like i have alot of anger in me that i need to address and so many other feelings too, so look forward to getting help that will have me seeing things clearer. Thanks all once again.

Hi mum of 3 monkeys, welcome. Ih ave just been diagnosed with PND and have 2 little ones at home as well as working and dealing with a stressful relationship and daily pressure of life in general. Im Usually round in the evenings if you wanna chat, im looking find people in similar situations as me too. Talk soon

hi,
welcome i hope counciling will work well for you:]
and i think in a lot of ways your kids can be very stressful but a huge help:]
i look after two little girls and i love them to bits, they keep me [i would say sain but happy is a much better word sooo] HAPPY:]

Hi Mumof3monkeys

Hope the counselling went well and helped you feel a bit better i havent started mine yet dr wanted me to try medication first , i am on citalopram and i am finding it helps me to get up and do stuff also controling my mood swings , scince being on meds my partner and i have calmed down alot i think my picking made us argue more . what meds were you on previously ? maybe you could ask your dr about citalopram ? sounded like you need something to help you get through the day . well i hope you feeling better
bye for now

HI there Mumof3monkeys

Hope it went ok today, I found my first session stressful with some of the questions, but the 2nd one ok,

Just my experiance,

Let us know how you got on?

afternoon all, had my first session today, was a little nervous today, and i get what you mean mylife by finding your first session stressful with the questions, i too felt a bit stressed too, but also understand it was necessary for her to understand me better and help me more. Although i cried a few times during the session i came out of it feeling just a little bit hopeful which is an improvement in me already, going from being withdrawn, distant and flat. I look forward to my next session which unfortunately is a month away unless i get slotted into a cancellation spot.

My other challenge which will help my state of mind is to change my diet and do more exercise, which i will try and work on over time. Im just glad ive had a good day today so far.

I hope everyone else has had a good day today too.

Thanks for the update mumof3monkeys,

I found questions a bit hard to take, especially the "have you thought about suicide' one... that bit hard for me.

But out at the other side, I think I personally am making some progress...

I had my second appt last week, and my third next week..ahh half way almost..

Then it is just the ACC sensitive claims ones I need to go to uugghhh!!

to answer your question before ragamuffin i was on aropax, but i didnt last long on them didnt like the side effects, especially when it started making my hair fall out, about 6 weeks after i had stopped taking it, my obvious bald patch grew back.

yes when i had to talk about my suicide attempt mylife it made me cry and was really hard for me to talk about too, its the first time i really talked about it in as much detail as i had too. I hope your sessions become easier for you mylife.

Night all I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, i also hope i get to have another good day tomorrow, heres hoping.

Oh hell no wonder you didnt like them how horrible i have only been on my meds for 2 weeks no side effects yet but my best friend who also has depression has been on them for 6 mths and she has no side effects but yes it is all up to you how you want to deal with things i am happy your counselling went well but its sad you have to wait so long for your next session whats up with the system !!! Takes alot of courage to talk about your feelings im glad you were able to go through with it

afternoon all, had a good morning, managed to get the shopping done, just frustrating coming home and getting straight into more work, i hate when things get overwhelming coz i still dont handle too well and flip out, and then tend to feel quite tired and withdrawn after, like i do now. I like the fact that i can come here though and vent my thoughts and feelings it certainly does help me. Ill be back later gotta try and push myself to tidy up.

Hope everyones morning has been a good one so far.

hi mumof3monkeys...I know what you mean about having things get overwhelming...but I dont tend to flip out...I tend to shut right down...to the point where I simply dont remember to do the most basic stuff...like eat or shower or (like yesterday) forget that I had to run a wash of work clothes...and I had to go to work in dirty clothes!!...at least I work on a dairy farm and I don't think the cows minded

glad to see that you think the coucilling sessions will be of help

lol im sorry britelite but the comment about the cows made me laugh, i have my shut down periods too, ill start to do one job and thats fine, but then one of the kids will need cleaning, but then another one has broken something, then that overwhelming feeling kicks in, and i try to rush through to get all the jobs done, building up that feeling either to the point where i either give up and just finish what i need to and go back to bed and zone out, or start shouting and then going to bed and zoning out. I find it frustrating when i get advised to try and find 10mins to myself to meditate to try and calm down, not that easy when im the only one here to take care of the 3 kids while partner is at work from afternoon to night. aaaaarhhhh dont mind my rambling im just putting my thoughts into words, ill probably do that a bit, whatever helps right, lol

dont be sorry...glad I gave you a chuckle

I know what you mean about the impossible task of finding 10 mins to yourself to meditate...when you really need it there is simply no space in your day...having 3 kids at home by yourself in the evenings would try the patience of a saint as that always seems to be when kids are at their most stubborn or naughtiest or demanding...one lady I knew used to go to the toilet as that was the only spot the kids couldn't follow, and do 10 long slow deep breaths...she said it did help her stop 'loosing her rag' so much

and please ramble away...it will help

hi all, been a while since i posted, sorry. Ive been good, been busying myself spring cleaning, and when im in the mood to clean i really enjoy it, i like the feeling of getting rid of rubbish and clutter its a satisfying feeling. Hope i dont sound weird to everyone lol. I like the weekends because my partner is home and gives me a bit of a break from the kids to do other things, and i usually spend it in or outside the house cleaning something. We had a good family day on saturday, our family of 5 went to the plaza to get our oldest son a haircut, and when he got out of the car he didnt have any shoes on........and yet he was the one running in and out of the car telling us to hurry up lol. We had lunch and let the kids play in the kids area for a bit, then headed to the park to run the energy out of the kids lol, which worked and gave us some quiet time, much needed and rare.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Susan.

ar we all from trade me? someone suggested this place on the mb the other day, hence why i came here to vent lol, the mb there is far too bitchy and judgmental unless you are one of the IN crwd then its (((HUGS))) til the cows come home, not that im into that mind you, i cant stand that mamby pamby stuff.