***vent***

things are not going my way at all, i regret feeling down when i have so much to be happy about ive been feeling flat all week and nothing seems to be working to cheer me up, im tired of the fake smiles and just want to sleep my life away. the dr has told me i should be ableto look 4 part time work (YAY) and to start dropping my meds -which i have-maybe thats why i feel all over the place at the moment, my head is in overdrive and im feel soo sleep deprived argh!! y me?!

*BIG HUGS* Wizza

Fake smiles can be so tiring and draining.

MAybe some part-time work will give you some structure and routine. Good luck with the job hunt. Just please don't get too down when you get knocked back from positions.

Just be careful as you come off your medications. Don't be affraid to tell your doc you need to stay on the meds if that is the case.

Take care

Roswell

wizza,
by now you will be fine I hope!
With depression,ones mind does become more active and our energies come to surround the head,where the mind processing goes on.

What is important to understand,is that 'we feed the mind by keeping at it',
thinking thoughts and ideas or concepts on an on and so much so, that we loose our centre of gravity.

Remember when you were physically-active,you were much less heady?
We need to find New ways of relaxing the mind,which can be anything like Diversions,Videos/sport watching or Sport itself/tennis n stuff like /gym jogging/tread milling/exercycling etc.
This brings the energies away from the head and distributes it through-out ones body,and makes you feel real and with-it again.
Especially so with the medications Drs prescribe,which can lift us up and off our feeling-centre,
whilst we struggle to become well.

Some kind of Physical
is what you want to investigate,
something that you have had a passion-for
in your recent past!

i just couldnt take it anymore so i did it- i grabbed my sleeping pills and took 16 of them and went to bed. things are very hazy after that but i was taken into hospital via ambulance (my mum had called them) what was i thinking?!!
i was taken into phsyche (sp?) services and although i have no recollection of it-it was the beginning to what i thought was the end. wow! those people are amazing! i have a social worker helping me with winz and my whole money situation and i am also seeing a dr in the hospital who is going to change my meds (to anti-depressants and anti-anxiety) & set up councelling for me. i feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! still not as happy as i know i can be but im starting the weining process off my a/ds and should be begining to take my new 1s on friday. heres hoping all goes well.

yes greasemonkey i have started walking/jogging my dog, hes a bull mastiff so its more like he runs me!! we live by a stream so its a good half hour to an hour walk and i find it really relaxing and refreshing

Wizza,
Well, I'm bloody glad those pills didn't do what you had hoped they would and by the sounds of things, so are you. Good. Excellent, in fact.

Its a rough way to learn that there is help for us 'out there' and I really, really wish that offers of help n guidance were more readily available to us all - and that whatever it takes, that the info about the help, is provided to us each in a way that sticks in our brains.

Hey, and thanks for sharing the pics of your pets; You're right, they are lovely.

If you need a reason to stay alive, just remember this (well, it works for me anyway).

'With my luck, if I killed myself today, tomorrow would have turned out to be bloody wonderful.'

So, I stick around, just in case! And sometimes, tomorrow was really, really good. I've even let myself enjoy some of them!!!

Wizza - and everyone else who reads this.

You are the last person from our TBBD family to try this. It stops. Now. It is the wrong solution to very complex problems.

We need you.

We need each other, to help us find personal strength and to stay safe. I don't think any of us can do this all on our own. And none of us should.

If anyone (well, except Baycorp!) feels unsafe or just needs to talk, needs someone to listen, needs to rant and yell and scream or whatever, ring me.

06 327 5588 or text me 027 3499275 or email me patq60@xtra.co.nz or throw a bloody brick at me - but talk, damnit. I don't have many answers, but I can listen and I can maybe help you to see that there are places to find support. Or if you don't want to talk to me then PLEASE check out the information in our 'Help Lines & Other Useful Contacts' section on the Home Page.

Wizza, I'm so pleased you're still part of our family here. Take care and thanks for being brave enough to say how life has been for you recently. It will get better, PaddyPromise!

Kia Kaha.

All Im gonna say is

WELCOME BACK HUGS for you Wizza!

Keep coming back in your dark moments honey.......we all have them and sharing really does help!

Monsta

many thanks for all your kind words
and my apologies if writing that offended anyone,
i feel i should add that it has never crossed my mind before and it was a very spur of the moment decision and quite frankly it scared the be-jesus out of me! i felt that writing my wee story on here made it real for me as at that point i was still very much in a daze about what i had done. and im glad it didnt work either!

although it has been "one of them weeks" im still reasonbly happy (just the fact that im alive i think) im going back to the hospital tomorrow and i will be getting my new meds- im a bit worried about that- am hoping they will do me the world of good.

i have always felt very isolated when it comes to depression (even though my mum and sis have it aswell) but pat - and everyone- this website is a blessing!! i think i may become a regular in here it have said things on here that i wouldnt say to other people-yous GET IT and Understand it! the support on here is fantasic

im off to dream world now hope you all sleep well and have a fab day tomorrow

Oh Wizza

Please dont have any regret for what you wrote. Not a single person in here would be offended as we all know exactly where you are coming from and most have experienced the same dark feelings.

I am so glad that you have come back and that things are looking just thet little bit brighter for you.

Please remember that there is a live chat room on the home page if you scroll down a bit. Often someone is in there and its a great place to just 'be' hang out lugh cry or whatever.

I hope that you have had a good nights sleep as I am personally very aware of that necessity.

Take care of yourself and we look forward to getting to know you better

HUGS

Monsta

Wizza I did the exact same thing with the sleeping pills. It also woke me up to, and I started getting the help I needed, and it also made people realise how bad the depression affected me. It really sux that it takes something that extreame to get things going and make you realise.

I'm glad that your here hun, and come here and vent if you ever feel like doing it again. Every time I feel like doing something silly like that I come here and write. Half the time it makes no sense but at least its a way of getting it out.

Hope you have a fantastic friday!!

Hugs, Haley

I think writing and talking about it is good because often when we make attempts to hurt ourselves it's as if we lose concentration and it is like a surprise. I never consciously attempted to hurt myself but I lost my grip on things and became clumsy as if my body was trying to say- WAKE UP! So even tho talking hurts, it does somehow hold you in place if you grit your teeth and keep doing it even when it feels horrible.

hope everyones friday has gone better than mine
was meant to start my new a/d's venlafaxine but am yet to take them as i have been drinking (im drunk so exuse any errors please)

its bin a bad nite and im not coping very well at all, my bf and a group of friends decided to go to town my cellfone has been shattered into pieces as well as my self essteem -my partner (now ex) told all his friends that i overdosed, i feel so ashamed as he was telling them all that im crazy and fuked in the head etc and im here in tears. ive had enough (i wont do anything stupid dont worry)

miss haley how do u cope being as young as me and havin depression?? (no drinking etc)

Oh god honey

My thoughts are with you. Its not easy is it? You poor dahlink!

But moving on now......your better ff without the BF if he does that to you..even just once......even if he says its concern......even if??????

I suspect that through your pain your also starting to realise that you are worth more......a oood person who is battling some demons atm.

Please be kind to yourself when you wake this morning.........we are here for you if you want to talk, cry, scream.

Please check your Private messages on here and use the numbers I have given you if you want.

Take care and try and do something for YOU today. Something that the WELL you would enjoy.

Take care honey

Hugs
Monsta

Hun that is horrible, Im glad that you come here and told us about it. Please do be kind to yourself as monsta said, and you dont deserve to be treated like that your worth more than that, and its so hard.

I find I have a 'safe' person that whenever I feel down I contact her. My citalopram helps, I went from crying all the time at the smallest thing to actually feeling normal half the time. Coming here also helps as well to write how I feel and some of the people here have helped me so much. I got myself a kitten and she keeps me happy, its amazing how much having a pet really helps. When I feel down Bella comes gives me cuddles.

I never really drunk that much, I used to go to town sober anyway so that wasnt a biggie. I have the odd glass of wine at night, but don't tend to have more than 2-3 glasses. But I do go out every so often and do get drunk, I just have to watch that I don't get too drunk and get down. I'm also lucky because my bf is very understanding about it all, and he helps a lot. I just cant believe your bf did that to you thats so terrible hun. HUGS

VENTING IS GREAT
as it throws outside us the feelings that we havnt yet had the time or patience to process and become
powerful people!
Wizza,brilliant recovery for you and a lucky escape from near death.
Paddy is deadly-right in His Posting too,
to the others and Myself here too!

NO more of that shit.

Wizza is a godsend,and others will learn from wizzas excursion into impulse!

Although VENTING IS GREAT one must be very carefull with the Void that is remaining after one vents such that ails them.That space must be used awarely...if we go on thinking instead of feeling the fresh differance after the moment,we can go on and bury-ourselves....go dig a hole!

BY all means
USE THIS FORUM TO VENT OFF STEAM
thats what it is here for and i will try to remember when i get Hot under the coller to come in here also.Venting is fine to diffuse what might result in impulsive behaviour,like whacking the Kids over-zealously and all that heavy handed shit,shit that happens when One dosnt know themselves well enough.


Venting is safe!

woah been a while since i have been on here,
i tend to drink when im down i have learned it DOES NOT help my situation any!
things have been up and down this week although im finding my new meds are doing the trick (they get me to sleep 2-im too scared to take sleeping pills now)
had a really good cry the other night and have been feeling pretty good since-i still want to sleep & rest alot-and i let myself do that whenever i want! (hehe although i have been up all nite) *smacks self on hand*
and talking helps-man does it help-i bottle things up normally. but this week ive just said exactly how i feel and its made such a difference!
should wriggle my butt off to bed now
hope u all have a fantastic day!!

Hey hun you sound so much happier today Im glad the new meds are working and your letting yourself sleep a rest.

Hope you have a fantastic daty/night/sleep lol

xxxx

Wizza,
brilliant!
You know what youre doing.
Self awareness is the First step,and following thro comes with time
and effort.
Remember,
there are three steps to SUCCESS in anything....
1.Knowing what you want!,
2.Where to Get it!
3.and allowing yourself to have it!
The third is the most difficult but with your energy
you shall make it,and turn the bus about!
cheers