Blue day (Small vent)

Sorry having blue day (sad day) one of those ones were everything no matter how small sets me off crying then im angry. I rang my brother yesterday thinking i would just have a general chat we have a difficult relationship but i thought we had been getting along ok of late, he was really abrupt with me and said oh havent rung weve (his family) been real busy. I felt like ive put all the effort in everytime to ring him and if i dont ring they wont ring me really hurt, there is alot more to the story but dont feel stronger nuff to go into it ill just cry again to scared to go to councilling to drudge up the past. Sorry if this dosnt make a heck of alot of sence im not very good at putting things in writting actually its a first for me. I hope this medication does kick in fast cause i feel like rubbish, Im going to get my rain jacket on and go for a walk seems to help. Thanks for letting me vent hope everyone else is having good day.

Sorry to hear your having abad day chickie *hugs* I dont know many people on this site who dont have family issues, I know I do and the stories I could tell ya would make your toes curl! lol. But just know that itsgreat that you are writing stuff down and getting it out here even if your not ready for counselling yet. I hope your enjoying your walk and come back and chat again soon eh?

Monsta

CJ, Hi
You are totally welcome to 'vent' here - thats just one of the things this place is good for. You needed to and you did, so good for you.

Hopefully someone who understands families will help you a bit more than I can - I've never been able to understand family dynamics - I have 8 siblings whom I don't have any contact with so I'm not the bloke to help you there sorry.

But counselling? Pffft, I hold the world indoor record for snivelling and blubbing and generally making an ass of myself (or so I feel) in front of my counseller and do know what? It doesn't matter.

Those tears, those heart-wrenching sobs, the very inellegant trails of snot running down your face as you howl your life out - its crap when its happening, but oh, it so helps to lighten the burden. Just in case one day you might change you mind, this Link will take you to a list of ACC-Approved counsellors in the Wellington area, k? Save the info for a rainy day (oh yeah, its wet today) just in case you change your mind one day, alright?

http://www.acc.co.nz/claims/useful-information/treatment-provider-details/registered-counsellors/index.htm?x_region=Wellington

Good on you for taking yourself off for a walk today, when things got a bit much for you - thats a pretty good survival skill right there, so I think you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. In fact, despite you feeling upset and wound up about your circumstances, you're doing everything pretty well right so far today, I'd say.

Think about it for a moment, CJ - your 'phone conversation yesterday obviously upset and hurt you, and as we do, you've been stewing over if for a few hours. Then you came here, and had the courage to say wassup in your life and that you're hurting over it.

And you say this is the first time you've tried to put your feelings in writing? You're pretty good at it, for a beginner, lol. Writing stuff down, even if no one ever, ever reads it, can be a great way to release stuff and put it down so its burden isn't with you every step of your life. Then you have had the good sense to take yourself for a walk (in the rain, even) cos fresh air, a change of scenery and just 'getting away' from home, really can help as you already know.

Don't totally dismiss counselling as an option, CJ - just maybe, wait until your meds have started to smooth things out a bit and you have regained more of a feeling of you being in control of your day?

CJ, if you do wanna vent a bit more, and are nervous about doing so in public, you (and anyone else here) are more than welcome to send me a PM here and use that to say wassup and whats wrong. I probably can't help directly, but I'm a good listener, a graduate of Sunnyside looney bin (I went back - musta been the equivalent of a Masters, lol) done the counselling thing, done the meds thing, done the oh crap, I wish I'd not done that thing (lots of times) and I've got all the time in the world.

Waiting for meds to kick in can be a miserable time, but you seem to have some good skills to help yourself through that, as you're showing here. So CJ, cut yourself a wee bit of slack, my friend. You don't have to be hard on you, the world already does a pretty good job of that.

Take care, stay safe and keep in touch, k?

Pat.

Aaarrgggghhh - families! I just about turned and ran from the thread screaming. I have learnt (I think) to have short sharp bursts of contact with certain members of my family as that's all I can handle. Sorry - no help - but thought I would just share that. I agree walking is a great tonic - I also paint. If I don't nurture my creative side I feel very flat. Wow, Pat, what a post, you have been there done that, do you have the t-shirt Please be kind to youself Chickiejo.