I can't do it anymore

I just can't. I hate knowing I have something and it will never go way, it will be in my thoughts forever. I hate this, so much

It's killing me. I don't want to be here..

Yes qwerky you can do it. The meds will take a little time to kick in and then you wont know yourself. It will get better, just give it some time hun. Hugs to you.

I feel like shit. My head aches. My lips are cracking because they are so dry. I can't eat anything, even though i'm a little hungry. It's a horrible feeling!

Try and have a couple of glasses of water, that should help a little with the headaches and maybe if you can a short walk. May help with the headach as well, but it will also help clear your mind.

how are you now qwerky?

Doesn't matter- I want to look for my sleeping pills and take them, but I know it's not a good thing..I can't find them anyway

Qwerky you can do it and you will get through this, I know you think you don't want to but you will. No it's not a good idea to find and take all your sleeping pills. I'm not aloud them any more coz I've got no-one to look after them and they reckon I'll OD on them again.

Yeah, I'll do that too. I don't want to live

Yes you do, I didn't want to either, hell sometimes I still don't want to, but don't let it take over you, if I'd done that I wouldn't be where I'm at today.

I'm too weak. I don't have what it takes.

You seem like a strong person..

I don't want to be here in the future, but I know I won't have the guts to do anything

You're not weak, you just can't handle it at the moment. I don't think I'm strong, I can't cope with a lot of things without being on medication. You will get there.

you both will...you are stronger than you think

qwerky90 wrote:I just can't. I hate knowing I have something and it will never go way,

I want to challenge that. I feel really good because I have decided I wont have this depression for ever. I know there are lots of issues that I have to work through, and that I will be depressed until a lot of my core values and fundamental beliefs (such as: I am worthless) change.

I am working hard to make myself happy. Sometimes I get bitter and depressed because it feels like I'm making no progress whatsoever and I will always be this way. But I believe that a true commitment to making yourself happy will eventually pay off.

good thoughts jaffa,

It's just hard to accept it for me right now..so hard, but I understand where you're coming from

you'll be ok, just keep telling yourself that

Things are looking up for the moment, probably only because I have been busy throughout the day at work..And I haven't had a nap..WOW.

Only a small amount of time to go until it is the weekend, then who know what that will do for me.
I can't wait to see my bf and play with the kitten. The two main things that keep me going. (And of course my friend)

I hope I get a better nights sleep.

hey I am just so happy for you qwerky!! I know you will do well, 'cause I know you are as fantastic as Samiam tells us!!

Haha, sam lies..!

no she doesn't!

so what are you going to do over the weekend?

absolutely nothing..

what if you try something new?

you just take time out for you. Celebrate the progress you have made this week. You have come so far and so worth celebrating.

he will want to play his games...like usual...that is his way of relaxing and because i am so indecisive, we wont do anything. He wont want to talk because when i try and talk to him about it, he never as anything to say, yet every other time, with every other thing on is planet (well almost..) he always has a comment of some sort, but he can't communicate with his girlfriend of 1 and a half years..

Yes I know he is only human and nobody is perfect. It's just hard at times. This is my first real relatinoship, and god I love him so much, but he knows how important comminication is to me.

The other day he was playing a game, and I was talking to him about him playing his games and ignoring me during them. He was in the middle of responding to me, but then his game became more important and he basically ended the conversation right there and then. I just stood there. I said " Hi Jono", nothing...becasue he was too involved with his game. I was about 2 feet away from him, and he didn't even remotely respond after I said his name..goes to show how important I am compared to a game.. He tells me i'm more important, and I want to believe him, but he needs to prove that to me, i need him too becasue right now all I see is his games coming first, especially considering I was talking to him straight about what he was doing, yet he continued to do it, when we were talking about it..That doesn't make sense to me..and he has done it before with the same senario..I have also tried to talk to him when he hasn't been playing his games..but nothing seems to work. They're more important than me..

They will be there all his life if he wants them too, but I may not be...

*sigh*