SICK TO BLOODY DEATH OF IT!!

I am so bloody sick to death of reaching out to my own mother for support and constantly getting a "No sorry I cant""Not today""DONT PRESSURE ME""I feel as though Im stretched too thin" yes I understand she has her own life and I am now a mother and wife and should be living my own life without depending on her for support but Im only 21,I had to grow up fast and Im trying to get through this rough patch in my life!! I understand she is grieving because her niece is dying,I understand she wants to see her as much as she can,I understand that she has to share the workload with my aunties in helping out with my grandmother but sometimes some comforting support on the phone wouldnt go unnappreciated,Im her daughter and she is slowly pushing me and my children out of her life and it upsets me.A year ago we had the opportunity to move to australia,earn about triple what we are earning and I said no because I needed the support of my parents,well look how thats turned out!!

My mum finds the time to go see my cousin a few times a week,yes I understand that soon she will be gone but how come mum only saw her maybe once a year before that,once my cousin is gone my mum is going to realise what she has lost(she has very nearly lost me because I cant handle it anymore).

I know Im being unreasonable but I am sick to death of slowly getting pushed out,ever since I moved 4 years ago I have slowly been pushed away from my family,I live a 40min drive away and I dont drive which I understand makes it difference but no matter how hard I try to make it easier for her to come to me,its no good,well CONGRATULATIONS MUM PHASING KIMBERLEY OUT OF THE FAMILY IS ALMOST FUCKING COMPLETE GOOD FUCKING JOB!!!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE SO PROUD OF HOW HURT I AM...BUT WAIT YOU DONT CARE COZ IM THE DISSAPOINTMENT OF THE FAMILY...BUT THEN AGAIN YOUR SWEET ELDEST AND HIS PARTNER CAN DO NO WRONG,WELL AT LEAST IM FOLLOWING THE LETTER OF THE LAW....AT LEAST I DONT HAVE TO LIE TO NOT GET CAUGHT OUT. MAYBE THATS WHY IM BEING PHASED OUT,BECAUSE MY SWEET BIG BROTHER DOESNT LIKE ME,I DONT LIKE HIM AND YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE....YOU ASK WHY I DONT LIKE HIM....HMMMM MAYBE IT WAS THE TIME HE KICKED THE CRAP OUT OF ME....OR THE TIME HE PUNCHED ME,SPAT IN MY FACE....OR COULD IT BE WHEN HE GRABBED MY LITTLE BROTHER AROUND THE THROAT,LIFTED HIM IN THE AIR AND SLAMMED HIM INTO THE WALL AND WHEN YOU TRIED TO STOP IT HE GRABBED YOU AROUND THE THROAT AND THREATENED YOU......OR COULD IT BE WHEN HE PUNCHED MY FATHER....OR WHEN HE PULLED A KNIFE ON MY FATHER AND ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST STABBED MY BEST FRIEND!!! OR WHEN HE WAS SO OFF HIS FACE ON DRUGS HE WAS GOING NUTS AT HIS GIRLFRIEND ACCUSING HER OF CRAZY THINGS AND YOU HAD TO COMFORT HER WHILE DAD TRIED TO CALM HIM DOWN...OH HANG ON,YOU CONVINIENTLY DONT REMEMBER,IN YOUR MIND IT NEVER HAPPENED









ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hugs and Cuddles and Kisses Lifey==
Please try and calm down a bit--
Make a cup of tea
Sit down
Breathe deep
and read my top line again to yourself!

My husband saw this....he is now on the phone to my mum

Hey hunny I hope your feeling better today xxx

HUGE AS HUGZ for you lifey!!!!!!!...so sorry to hear that you can't depend on your Mum when you need a hand it sounds like she has loaded a lot onto her own plate...but...as a Mum myself I reckon that her attitude SUCKS

keep your chin up hun cos in the long run it will be her who misses out...on spending time with your two gorgous daughters and the beautiful person who is you

Lifey sweetheart, this isn't a growling, k?

It's just, I'm a wee bit worried 'cos I read the Chat Archives from earlier today and I saw some stuff there, that can't possibly be true. They may be how you are feeling right now, but they're not true, hon.

What was it?

You are not responsible for the stress your mum is under.

You are not a fucken useless piece of shit.

And... YOU ARE NOT a bad person.

Sure, you mum sounds like she has a lot of stresses in her life too and some folk are not too clever at the way they handle stress or the way it impacts on others around them. I am so pleased that your hubby spoke with your mum on the 'phone - Top Marks, Mr. Lifey, good on ya, mate. You take good care of that lady of yours cos she's worth it.

I don't understand parents, Lifey. I remember once trying to tell my father 'stuff' one day when I'd not long been out of Sunnyside for the first time. Silly me. I thought it was going swimmingly till he put down his beer, looked at me and in the coldest voice I'd ever heard, said 'I expected better of you than that, Boy.' Ha. Yeah, me too Dad. Me too.

Lifey, I don't know the answers as to how to deal with your mum at the moment sorry. But PLEASE don't put yourself down the way you have been, 'cos its just so not right.

Thank you for sharing with us, how things are - it must be an impossible-feeling situation that you are in at the moment, but hang in there hon, cos things will get better. And while you're waiting for that to happen, enjoy the family you have made all for you - your hubby and your two darling wee ones. Focus on that part of your family if you can hon, and fingers crossed, the other people will soon start to realise just how wrong their treatment of you has been lately.

Use this place as much as you need to, Lifey and if there is anything you would like to talk about that you don't want to put on the Message Board here, then you can email me, if you'd like to? patq60@xtra.co.nz gets me, tho I'm not really a 'morning' person at the moment.

You take really good care of you please Lifey, and remember, you are NOT those things you said you were in the Chat Room.

well my mum is now showing she cares,she seems to be walking on eggshells as to not to set me off coz Im a fucken nutcase but at least it seems like she cares
Im not in a good place right now,I feel miserable without knowing why,I fucken hate it

(((((HUGS))))) be patient Lifey, parents often don't know how to understand things outside of their worldview. They have all these ideas about how things should turn out, and when they don't, they don't always no how to cope. I think your Mum does care, I just think that maybe she has no real idea what the right way to handle all that has gone on is. She is probably confused and dealing with a raft of emotions herself. None of this excuses bad behaviour, but it might help expliain it.

Also, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON!!!! Please stop running yourself down.

life,

try to not get involved with those thoughts that are troubling you.
Get some rest,now your Mother is aware that you are going through some kind of healing process.

Unless you relax into your new found place
happiness cannot be realised.

Mothers arte good
as baby-sitters.....
Take time out for You,
a movie,a cafe'
a bath by candel-light with a handfull of herbs thrown in.
relax

feeling is our right.
It is RIGHT to get our feelings out!
It is best to settle after a storm and not invest in too much self analysis.

Self is Fine you will Find
when you settle
into it

GM offers space
to feel and relax!

Hey Lifey. How you doing today? Parents really seem like distant aliens sometimes and we just can't figure them out. How did your mum response to your husband's phone call?

Hi guys,

Parents ay? Mine of course were perfect when I was a kid, now I see the cracks and know they were not.

Big huge hugs, hope today was better for you, good on your husband ringing your mum. Family dynamics are sooooooooooo difficult, especially when your not well.

Some choose to ignore - because they don't know how to help.

you have friends/people on here that care.... and can sympathise with some of what your feeling. Hold tight - treat yourself....when a negative snaps into your head - snap back with a positive....

My PDN said "Stop taking the anger out on yourself" I was like omg is it anger? I thought it was depression etc.......

Remember SNAP back!

Hi Lifey, how are you now?