LOW self Esteem/ Body Issues AND low/No sex drive=====HELP?

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OK havent been on here for a long time---BUT I finally crashed & burned BIG time .
Was at my lowest low last week---REALLY Scarey!.
Since then--seen a new G.P whos testing all of my hormones etc to see if I have like some imbalance thing going on-------had a total hyster just 3 months back and my depression has come out for everyone to see!!!!
PLUS have my 1st visit with a pyschologist monday the 23rd March to see if he can help me also!

BUT I want to hear from brave women who share all or any of my probs in the heading to see how you handle all these issues.

PLEASE I must get better some day soon----I cant stand being so depressed!! Its revolting

HI Angie

I am sorry your having such a rough time of it. I hope the Doctor can offer you some help and it is likely given that you have recently had a total hysterectomy that something is going on with your hormones and this can be helped, so phew!!!!!

I suffer from low self esteem and body issues also (although I am working hard to overcome these issues as well as I can). In fact I dont know a woman who doesnt lol I know that since giving up alcohol my self esteem has grown in leaps and bounds and so I wonder if there is some specific issue that is holding you back in this area. Once we address the root causes of our insecurity it is so much easier to deal with them and gain back our sense of self. Perhaps it is time to seek some counselling to see what is at theroot of your issues.

On a practical, at home, level, what can you do to help yourself. Ensure you have a diet full of nutritious fresh and healthy foods. And perhaps up your supplement intake. I take a multi, omega 3, evening primrose and vitamin B and magnesium and iron every day. Since starting this regime I have noticed that my energy levels are up and I feel better about myself. Also I eat tomatos every day and a handful od pumpkin and sunflower seeds, I try also to get at least 1 tablespoon of olive or flaxseed oil into me, usually as a salad dressing.

Excersise every day. Even if its just 15 mins walking or doing a few weights. I have some light 1kg wrist weights that I attach 1st thing in the morning and try to keep on for as long as possible. Youd be surprised how tired your arms are at first just doing all the normal day to day stuff with the weights on. Stretching first thing is also of importance because it isa gentle way to waken your senses when you get up in the morning.

I am also doing some cardio, I have a spin bike at home, and I do a dance class (modern jazz) once a week. The dance classis a source of enormous joy to me and really gives me a lift. I am in no way a size 10 as can be confirmed by many people here, lol and felt awkward and fat when I first started but boy! what fun I am having. I have lost my inhibitions there quickly.

All of the above have gone towards raising myself esteem from below zero (suicidal) to a place where today I actually see myself as a good person wirth a healthy body who feels good about themselves. Im not perfect. I have stretch marks and cellulite and wobbly bits. But I am 40!! and its ok. Sure Id like a twenty year old body again but its not going to happen and I have to be happy with who I am.

I actually let a man (new) see me semi naked this weekend lol That hasnt happened for nearly a year lol Admittedly the lights were off and I kept trying to work the angles but it was ok. I figure if he cant handle the reality then he isnt the one for me. (jury is still out btw for all you interested parties lol)

AS far as the sex drive is concerned a healthy diet and getting your sense of self back on track will all help.

At the end of the day self esteem has no quick fix. You have to keep reminding yourself every day that you are a beautiful sexy woman who deserves to love and to be loved. Not easy and even if you dont really believe it tell yourself anyway!!!!!!! It sounds silly but it does help.

Do smal things to make yourself feel good. Get a new hair cut or colour, or your nails done. Or just put on a bit of makeup in the morning!!!! Buy yourself something pretty (I always reach for the shoes to cheer me up! nothing says sexy and confident like a pair of pretty 54 inch stillettos!!!!) wear them around the house and act sexy when your alone. To hell with feeling silly eventually you will remember on a cellular level how it feels to be a sex kitten. But yourself some pretty sexy underwear and wear it!!! NOT just on special occaisions, EVERDAY! (not the same pair obviously ewww lol) Wear the knickers and the shoes for YOU!!! because your worth it!!

LET yourself have some fun and find a form of excersis that makes you smile not cringe.

I hope you find something in my rambling that helps and if nothing else you can try and envisage me in my semi nakedness trying to manoevour myself so the new 'nice man' couldnt see or feel the wobbly lumpy bits lol Of course it didnt work and I am sure he was wondering why this silly woman was squirming and moving all the time. Im such a dork!!! Cos I dont think he really gave a damn at all!!! lol

Have a better day today Angie!

Take care

Monsta

Cheers Monsta,

WELL DONE YOU! new man and everything.
Some good stuff I can use---and other suggestions just seem way O--F--F at the mo, as I feel very raw and fragile!
Thanks

YOur welcome

me and the nice man are just friends at this point so we will see.

lol

Hi there, now this is an issue i struggle with every day but yet i never realy talk about it! So my advice ... well i have no advice really! Loser i am. I have no energy either and no sex drive at all where as my partner is a total night owl and horn dog! LOL like most males! Ok i can laugh about it now but sometimes (read: Most of the time) it makes me cry. Im tired from working all day and when i get home and fed, showered and bed, sex is the furtherest thing from my mind and i never ever can be botherd. I dont think ive once initiated sex in like 2 years its always him! I do love him so occasionally but not very often i do try. We have tired heaps of things dirty weekends away, naughty stuff, pills, etc you name it we have tried! I find as long as im relaxed - bath and massage totally helps although it does make me want to sleep it at least shows me he cares about me and is not afraid of my body like i am! Im not a quitter so i will keep trying for him and for me!

I do hope your ok angie, come back and share with us! Oh and monsta .... go you! Your gorgeous and everything you say is gorgeous! I have the same issues as you and im only 27 so your doing fab!

claire your a beautiful young woman and certainly NOT A LOSER!

dont make me walk up there and boot your sweet patootey!!!!!!!!!!

hi claire and monsta,

claire you sound like your my twin!!!!, lol

Its so bloddy hard to get everything right and look after everyone elses needs/wants etc when ya feeling so CR@P about yourself and everything!...
....AAarrgghhH.

P.S I'm 39 with 2 girls

Hey hun
Take time for yourself,hard to do I know,I have major body issues and low self esteem..... I have been on a downward spiral,because around november/december I totally revamped myself and was feeling good and energised and went off my meds,been back on them for a while now and still struggling more than I was before.

I have a 2 yr old and 5 month old so Im busy trying to keep them healthy and happy when I actually am not looking after myself

thanks lifeshouldbegreat,

OMG you were having the baby last time I was in touch on here!.

YEP WELL, I thought I was tough and could keep UP the ACT!, of she'll be right--nothing wrong with me!
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This is the "REAL" me--a sad one, when I shouldn't be sad at all!