Dealing with the small stuff

I am finding at the moment that while my depression is pretty much under control, it is often the small stuff that can tip me into a downward spiral...and that, a day later, I am feeling okay again. I am trying to find ways to 'not sweat the small stuff' but nothing has worked so far. I can tell myself over and over that its not my fault/problem and I have nothing to feel bad about, but that doesn't do the trick at all...

Something trivial happens that makes me feel bad, my stomach starts churning, I start obsessing over it...and it can ruin a day, a week, whatever...but sometimes it is over and done with by the next day.

Anyone else have any coping mechanisms for this sort of stuff?

Sometimes what i try to do is practice step by step problem solving. you have to practice it, so it becomes a habit. little things can be useful to practice on, instead of getting constantly tripped.

1. Clearly describe the problem. Right now the problem for you seems to be the small things make you feel bad and physically ill and you begin to obsess over what happened, which can affect your enjoyment of your life. It is important to clearly state what you consider the problem to be.

2. Brainstorm solutions for the problem. The trick here is to be creative not judgemental. It would be helpful if someone or two other people can join the fun and you can brainstorm together. You are allowed to think up wacky ideas like everytime you obsess about something you have to sing out loud even in the supermarket. Or more realistic solutions like how could i apply cognitive behaviour techniques to my thinking at this time? You can list negative ways of dealing with it too, like drinking until you forget what tripped you. Whatever you brainstorm is ok.

3. Choose one of your ideas by listing the pros and cons. Remember it is helpful to work as a group. More embarrassing at first maybe but it really helps to keep yor perspective.

4. Make a plan of how you are going to put your idea into action, include what you expect will happen and when you have someone else on hand, what their role is. Maybe you have decided you will imediately stop and write down what is happening and then later, show your friend what you wrote. Part of the plan is to decide how they respond. Decide how long you are going to deal with the problem and when you will stop and reassess progress.

5 Put the plan into action. Remember what the problem was in the first place.

6. Get together with your support person/people and discuss how much the solution solved the problem. You may decide to continue or change the plan a little or to try another idea.

7. Don't give up, try again! I know this seems a lot. When i was learning it back when I was doing a paper called psych rehab, I got annoyed at how repetitive it was, but I am really glad I learnt it. I haven't described it exactly here, just what i remember. I like it because it emphasises you r own creativity. If you obsess about something, your brain obviously has a lot of energy that needs directing. I think managing the little things is more important than the big things. The big things we just have to let go cos they are so obliterating. It's the little things that are the daily practice.

Good spotting Lowdown.

This is a Normal part of growing spiritually aware,
the observor with-in gets caught (drawn with-in) the void due to not knowing the Real-Self.
Ask yourself,
"who is getting Higher?"

We get high not realising that we are running away from ourselves in the process.

There is another way to Grow,
and that is rather than be moving up n dn,
consider expansion.

There's an age ol saying associated with this aspect of inner knowing,

as above
so below

The small stuff is the BIG STUFF

check these words out
http://www.findingjoymovie.com

Movie Summary: In a word - Breathtaking! In Finding Joy,

lowdown wrote:I am finding at the moment that while my depression is pretty much under control, it is often the small stuff that can tip me into a downward spiral...and that, a day later, I am feeling okay again. I am trying to find ways to 'not sweat the small stuff' but nothing has worked so far. I can tell myself over and over that its not my fault/problem and I have nothing to feel bad about, but that doesn't do the trick at all...

Something trivial happens that makes me feel bad, my stomach starts churning, I start obsessing over it...and it can ruin a day, a week, whatever...but sometimes it is over and done with by the next day.

Anyone else have any coping mechanisms for this sort of stuff?

I'm in one of those spirals now, haven't been able to concentrate to work for the last two days, this time it wasn't such a small thing that started it off, but something that has really messed my head up.

Wish I was one of those people who can compartmentalise their lives so that one part doesn't affect their ability to function in another part...

Hi lowdown and others, i sure do sweat the small stuff too! Ive got alot on my plate at the moment and its bringing me down But when i stopped and really thought about it, its just a lot of small stuff which by themselves i could handle but its the timing that they have al arrived or are due at the same time!

Attica has some great ideas! Its like i know to do all that stuff but yet once as you put it that downward spiral starts all common sense and reality goes out the window!

I guess baby steps is the only way forward! (Its ok to take steps bakwards too:)

Hey guys, apologies to you all for the advice I was doling out. I just read it again and it's sure good stuff, but it sounds just like Wellmeaning Other People giving Advice. You all are so right. When the downward spiral is happening, or the whirlpool, commonsense and reality are the first to go.

One of the the best things we can do is post here. Make one real act in a mush of unreality.

The act of going to the the computer and logging in and thinking of words to say and posting them. That is so huge.
The knowing of what to do has nothing to do with what is stopping the achievement. Lowdown, you feel as if you are not dealing with stuff. But you are, and you have made a lot of other people stop and think too. Tell us how it's going.

I am so involved in being able to do things right now, I forgot what it was like to be stuck. I am sorry. I feel like I have been let out of jail. I have not felt motivated like this for 8 years. I am enjoying doing the small stuff. I love cleaning! Boring things like going to WINZ are an adventure in trying to make it special. Every problem that comes along I grab a hold of it like a pitbull and shake it till it's sorted.
I don't compartmentalise well either, as I still have a lot of attention deficit. The antidepressants help, but I still cope best by ruthlessly limiting distraction. I do live alone and work only a couple hours a day and am a loner. I have a social budget and every change I make to my life has to be managed with concessions to mental illness. If i am having any warning symptoms I have to have immediate rest, doesn't matter what else is happening. Even my partner has to go home to his place so I can stop and rest. So that makes it easier for me. I don't think most people would be comfortable with the way I live.

When we get the fatigue of depression sorted, often it seems other things (anxiety, obessive-compulsive stuff, addictions etc) come up to take its place, but maybe they have been there all along. So it seems we have more work to do. But really it's all life, isn't it? The work of our life.

Attica, your advice did help, so never feel bad about offering suggestions, people can take or leave what they think might work for them its great to hear that your motivation is so high, gives us all hope that we can have those stages too.

This last spiral I did stop and think about what was going on, rather than just obsessing. I tried to clearly identify why I was so upset and pull out those bits which were irrelevant so I could focus on what I really needed to.

It really did help.

Thanks lowdown. I'm glad you can keep posting. Every now and then I stop myself too and remind myself to watch what is happening. But I try not to analyse too much. I'm scared the flow will peter out oneday. I think that's where my present motivation comes from. I don't have so much guilt and fear anymore. I don't want to be driven by that anymore.

I do struggle with what is relevant/irrelevant and tend to focus intensely on one thing at a time in an effort to not be distracted. If the environment is not right I can't do much. I do have very understanding family, friends and employer. This has taken many years to establish. They all finally seem to be in agreement with what I need and I am heaps better at communication. I am lucky I have found some real gems who are great at helping me think better. What is your support system like?

Husband tries to understand but can't really, he is great when there is a meltdown but not day to day. I do tend to announce how I am feeling so that at least he can take his cues from that.

I am really aware of the moods I go through, try to acknowledge them and work with them rather than against them - helps that I am self employed and do quite a range of stuff so can work in with how I am feeling on that particular day eg can I handle dealing with people, or can I do something that keeps me in hermit mode?

Friends and colleagues? Well, some know, but they don't really understand and its not something I can have a discussion with them about. I have a good friend who lives a bit far for coffees but we do a lot of texting, emails and phonecalls and she has been great. Bit of a mutual support network.

Apart from that...you guys are pretty much it! Thank god for Paddy and his site and all you great people out there who offer their support and friendship.

Group hugs