F***ing depression.

I am throwing my own pity party today. I am so very fucking tired of this depression. I have had it for years now and the meds aren't working for me and haven't for a really long time. I don't know what else to do. I've tried lots of things to try and 'treat' it but nothing seems to work. I'm tired of feeling sad, lonely, vulnerable AND experiencing the always expanding black emotional chasm that is the black dog. Who the hell wants to live like this?! This isn't living, it's existing and that certainly aint a very attractive idea at this moment. What is the fucking point? {Thanks for letting me vent.}

Hello becks, Sorry your meds aren't working too well. They are only part of the treatment (for me anyway) .... my Dr told me a long time ago .... 'some people only needs meds, some need meds and me (him) and some need meds, me and a counsellor' .... well, I needed all three!

I wish there was more I could do to help you. PM me if you would like to. ..... Daze

How's your diet and exercise Becks?

This seems to be working for me at the moment.

I'm sick of the pity party too... I hate feeling this way.

I'm going to see a psychologist and try to set up a long term counselling (SP?) plan,. The meds I am on are helping but not enough. My Dr thinks I should keep taking them but has not increased them. He suggested a few things.. one which took me by surprise was " a focussed activity , like knitting" which is good because I do that already. Exercise, (even when I dont want to because "sometimes when you are depressed you have to do things to help yourself even when you really dont want to", and making contact with friends at least once a week. (which I have been sudiously avoiding for months. . ) I think the universe heard him. two people made contact with me this weekend. and I'm very grateful to them. Thank you Ros.

I also read All Blacks Dont Cry over the weekend. Its great. It is easy to read and JK comes across as honest and caring while explaining in lay terms how things were for him.The section at the back was really good and after reading his story it was a nice change to read the interview.

I hope you get a chance to read it.

Becks.. keep venting.. and look for the thinks that work for you.. something will.. even if its only for a few minutes a day to start with.

big hugs
Donna

heya becks
sorry to hear things are crap for you
like you i have been surviving this stupid illness for many years
your right, this is not living

i hope you can find some sun shine in your day today.
as dory says
just keep swimming, just keep swimming (finding nemo)
its good advice
coming from a fish

take care