Just want to feel like life isn't a chore

Hiya- quick background: 19-nearly-20, suffered from depression for about six years. anxiety too. self harmer. on meds for about 2-3 years.

My mood generally fluctuates as I'm sure many of you will understand- some times are better than others right? But this year has been consistantly awful. I spent most of the year in bed until the afternoon- attended very few of my lectures and have more or less been a train wreck.
The past couple of weeks has hit a new low. I had to quit my summer job in Wellington to move home because I had what would be best described as a nervous breakdown. I'm really struggling at the moment just to make it through the day which is all I'm aiming for right now. I'm on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist and counseller at the adult mental health services because I'm too old to see my old psychologist (child services)... but how long will the waiting list be?
I'm really at a loose end. I guess I just need someone to understand. I really don't know how to go on like this. I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I can't remember what it feels like just to live .

I'd really really appreciate any replies.

Huggles and thinking of you, I know it is awful being in such a bad space. Waiting is such a pain, oodles more hugs from the teddy bears, Zin

Thank you Zin... huggles are my fave remedy. x

Hi Naecp and warmest welcome to TBBD

Many of us here know how it feels to try and get through a day, and sometimes an hour living with depression and other mental health probs. Life shouldn't be this way, it's not fair. I find it helps knowing that others understand what I'm coping with and most often can help, even if it is to respond with hugs and smiles.

I have met some amazing and gifted people of all ages, during the past four and a half years, in mental health services. We each have a gift and sometimes when we can see over that horrible wall (Depression) we find gifts we didn't know we had.

I am sending out huge kick arse prayers. I hope that today, tomorrow and the next day you can find something that helps you smile.

HUGS your way x

Poetry

I really really appreciate your reply- thank you. Thank you for the prayers and hugs, and for making an effort. xxxx