Teenagers! Can't live with em, not allowed to kill em.

Anyone else here living with teenagers & depression?
I have 2,(teenagers that is). A 16yr old girl who is wonderful,(in as much as her bedroom is like a bombsite, & she can't possibly do any chores right now cause she's studying for exams, kinda way) & a 13yr old son who is hideous.
He's a good kid at heart but is pushing bounderies left, right & centre.
I don't have the energy to cope with him right now. His father is not on the scene,(probably a lot of his problems) & I have no family in NZ.
Any help or ideas would be appreciated.

Hi Beanie, (In a light vein) .... Grab a teenager while they know everything!!!!!

Sorry I have no ideas. I am of the belief that kids are fine as long as they can be handed back.

I board with a solo parent family with two kids, a 9yo and a 6yo with downs syndrome. I find they often really stress me out and I often have to isolate myself.

In saying that I have the house to myself all week while they are away on holiday

Hi Beanie,

Unfortunately I have no words of wisdom but know exactly what you are talking about. I have 2 teenagers. My daughter also 16 went to live with her father and his girlfriend 2 years ago because I was the worst mother in the world and she hated me. I would have made her stay but it was effecting everyone else. I have since had a letter telling me that she has a new mother now and that its because I have never cared about her. If only she knew.

I have a 13 year old boy also. He lives with me. He has learning difficulties although he is very bright. Dyslexics ae like that apparently. He drives me insane and I am torn between losing him as well and keeping in him line. His father sees very little of him so I also get the back lash of that because gets very mad about it.

Man as if living with depression isnt bad enough I think these guys give me reason to keep it.

I went to a parenting course before my daughter left and the big thing that I got from that was not to get involved with there emotions. when they give us a hard time we are supposed to calmly say that the behavoiur is unacceptable and that you want nothing to do with it. Thats how easy it is. Lol.

The other thing for my daughter is with the help of a friend I have come to the conclusion that all her opinions on me are just that. Her opinions and I am never going to change them. This has helped me keep my sanity a little. I have told her that I am sorry that is her opinion of me but it is not my opinion of her. Every one tells me she will come back to me. Who knows.

Sorry not much help really but yep teenagers and depression definately dont mix. Actually does depression mix with anything. I guess it gives me more ammunition. You know to useless to have friends, a good life, nice things and to be a good mother.

Now I feel sorry for myself and I hate that to. I am going to sound like everyone else and say hang in there. Most parents and teenagers survive these years. and I have heard a friend who has no depression say that same thing about her teenagers.

thanks wreckless, You sound like you're doing it worst than me. Only thing that keeps me going is that I have a friend with the 'perfect' family life & the teenager from hell. This girl was into sex, drugs, & rock & roll since age 14. the only thing that kept her mother going (only just at times) was that she realised it wasn't her fault & some kids are just like that.
I look at her & think,well I've done my best, she did even better & her daughter is worse, so its not my fault.
I strongly suspect it's not your fault either so don't blame yourself.
I find noting down 'good mothering moments' helps.
You'll surprise yourself at the end of the week how good a mother you have been.
ps. not killing them only counts as half a point!