Help Yourself - my advice to all

Hi All,
If there's one piece of advice I'd really like to stress to all members of this site, it is that we are all on our own journeys. This is not a site where depressed people go to dwell on things. It's also not a site where trained medical professionals are standing by to help people in need.

What you find here is a group of good natured people (all of them!) who are on their own journeys toward's self improvement. They are people that suffer a diverse range of mental illness's, have different experiences and whom see things in many different ways.

A common thing we all share is a desire to help other people, particularly those that we feel we can relate to because we have had similar experiences or symtoms. There are many great people here like this, and its one of the things I love most about this forum. But once again I need to stress - we have our own journeys as well. Most of us are kind souls who help others when we feel we are able to, but sometimes we can't because we are in a rut of our own.

Many people come here I think, overwhelmed with stress, sadness, frustration and being unable to cope, and I dont blame them for a lot of the really strong negativity they spout:

• I can't do this anymore - I'm gonna end it
  
• I'm pathetic - useless - I give up
  
• Nobody gives a shit - I dont even give a shit etc...
  

We can all relate to this - so many of us have been there and we KNOW its not easy. Believe me we know. But I also feel we can communicate our feelings - even feelings of complete exasperation and despair - in ways that aren't unhelpful like those above. One of the best things I can recommend is to practice prefacing those kind of statements with I feel. I feel that I'm useless and pathetic. I feel that nobody cares etc. I think it can really help us to acknowledge that the way we feel is not often the way things are. Our feelings are always valid - we all have a right to feel the way we do - but be open to having them challenged! I could argue all day that you are NOT useless and pathetic, but nobody could argue that you don't FEEL that way.

In Summary:
- we are all on our own journeys
- we are all welcoming of new people on this site, but i would hope that you would use this site in the same way I am, to help eachother and to help ourselves. This is not just a place to vent, but a place to address and challenge some of the negative thinking that results in each and every one of us being depressed.
- this is a place of positivity. Its a place where positive change happens. And its a place where caring people who want the best for each other are able to support each other through their own positive changes.

It is not a place where depressed people just gather to sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. I truly believe that even the most depressed and jaded people have the ability to change themselves for the better. Sometimes we can't see it, and we feel that we have no control. Please believe me when I say you have more control over your life and state of mind than you think you do.

My journey right now is going really well and I really like being able to share what I've learned with the rest of you. I genuinely wish you all well in your own journeys.

JK.

Oh well said Jaffakiwi and I am so pleased you are doing so well, self help is so important.

it is important but it is so hard to do