When it comes to the point of no return

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When it comes to the point of no return

Post by emmanic on Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:20 am

LONG story short - I have been with my partner for coming up 8 years. He has suffered from depression for the entire time I have been with him and has also recently (As in the last 6 months) been diagnosed with Adult ADD...
We now have a one year old daughter and it got to the point where I had to leave as financially we could no longer survive on only my income. DP has had so many jobs but has always lost them in the end and no has no references to use to find another one...
My question is this... How do you go back to that happy place in your relationship? I feel like things have gotten to the point where I myslef have started to suffer from depression and I cannot for the life of me go back to the person I once was... I was such a happy go lucky person and was generally so laid back, but now I am a shadow of my former self and HATE the person I have become...

What do I do? Do I leave the relationship for good? Despite being miserable without him?

emmanic

Number of posts : 2
Location : new Zealand
Registration date : 2012-02-28

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Re: When it comes to the point of no return

Post by emmanic on Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:32 am

I guess I should add that I am quite sure I suffer from co-dependency and our relationship is consider by all but us as toxic... We feel that we can get through this together, but I am so scared of disappointing my family and just cant get my head around him not being around to help me raise out daughter...

emmanic

Number of posts : 2
Location : new Zealand
Registration date : 2012-02-28

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Re: When it comes to the point of no return

Post by Books4NZ on Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:43 am

Hi.. thinking of you..

I hope things have improved for you.. being with someone with depression can be very depressing, as though part of us, sometimes a big part of us, is being subdued, quietened, closed down.. doesn't feel great..

Something I found that helped.. I wrote down a list of pro's and con's about leaving, and about staying.. and I re-wrote it, in a journal book, every few days for some time before making the decision to go. My lists showed a real pattern that I needed to pay attention to, and the info in the lists were a part of the decision process I made when I decided to leave.

If it doesn't work out for you both to be together, it doesn't need to stop him being there as your daughter's Dad, with arranged times for them to be together, for him to go to activities, etc.. with you both, or with your daughter..

Take gentle care of you..
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Books4NZ

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Location : Bay of Plenty
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