Helping support partners

Morning Dena, when people we love pass, it is so important to celebrate their life. One thing I did, that was very helpful for me when my brother died a couple of years back, was to write a poem for him. I wasn't sure whether I would be able to read it at his funeral so had a cousin stand beside me to take over if needed. I read that poem without help because as I started, I knew no one could deliver that with the such vigour, with such love, as I could. Sure I had tears as I read, but I had smiles as I remembered. My poem was so funny, it was a piss take of a nursery ryhme, it was a reflection of both his and my personalities. I loved him dearly and I wanted him to once again hear that. Afterwards, I was told by the funeral director, there was not a dry eye in the place, but it was soo healing. My point is to remember with love, celebrate with passion and say goodbye with humour, that way now when I remember, I do so with a smile.
I hope your arrangements are going well, and although you may not feel it at the moment, you will find peace. Sending strenght and hugs, Pam.

well said peterpam,

hope your ok dena

Hi team (my support team)
The verse I placed in a past post I intend to read at Juliet's Funeral on Thursday. We will also be having a live choir sing 'Somersault' (Zero 7) and 'Arms of an Angel' (Sarah MacLachlan) as well as some of her favourite classical pieces during the committal. The Funeral Director has arranged a casket that can be written on with marker pens and as she was a Teacher all her colleagues will decorate it for her. We are trying to find joy in this horrible time because that's what this darling girl will want.

Hi Dena, oh that will be just lovely, sounds like Juliet will have a fabulous send off. I love, Arms of an Angel, such a beautiful song. Take care, Pam

Hi Dena, I just wanted to say I am so sorry for you loss. My thoughts will be with you and Juliets family on Thursday. I'm sure it will be a tough day. Hugs and loving thoughts, Folly.

sending more gentle loving thoughts your way Dena

I am sure you have enough personal strength and support from others to make it through Thursday...I just want to point out that you will find friday and saturday very hard...you will feel emotionally drained and confused...so please make sure you have someone who you can turn to at the drop of a hat...someone who will be happy to just be there as quiet support...and who knows how to make a fantastic coffee.

be kind to yourself hun

Morning Dena, take care of yourself today. Sending hugs

Big day today - please all of you take care of yourselves as well
D

At least the sun is shining, I am sure it is as Bright as Juilette's smile.

Take care D,

thinking of you today Dena

hope you are finding more memories to add to your collection from what others say and remember about Juliet

Hello Support Team
Its the next morning and I've had little sleep but am so proud of J's family and friends yesterday. Her coffin was decorated with drawings and stickers by her colleagues as we had requested, and each family member added something after they had read their tributes. Many, many of her friends came up and laid a daffodils (picked from her Parents property) during a time for reflection and her choir sang surrounding her. We had very firm beliefs that her depression and suicide would not be ignored in her ceremony and this was woven into her life story and how she had struggled for so long. Her Father was especially moving as he described Depression as a form of Cancer - for some it can be cured (like him), for some they will die from it and for some they experience a form of remission but it may come back and they will face it again. Juliet had 10 years of such a remission and I had the absolute privilege of spending the last 3 of those with her. The loss and pain is immense, what I have learned from her will never be forgotten. We requested donations were made to the Mental Heath Education and Resource Centre in lieu of flowers yesterday. It would have been her 35th birthday next Friday so I have asked Family to spend her birthday gift money on a donation to MHERC as well.
As you may have guessed my profile pic is currently of that extraordinary and beautiful girl.
As I wrote on your coffin yesterday - Ponk, you can rest now, I love you, Ott

WOW factor: World of Wisdom.(?)
you are already that Babe!

You need a Lover!
Some-body with intelligence (much like yourself ) is OK sure
but common sence allows everyone access
to that great pool of Love
we are already-in,
believe Me.

Mind can be maddening when love is desired.
Love is also practical.

errr,
or Has he already made his entrance?
eeek!

peterpam wrote:lol gm, nobody with that WOW factor, passed my way as yet. Enjoying looking.

[i]

greasemonkey wrote:WOW factor: World of Wisdom.(?)
you are already that Babe!

You need a Lover!
Some-body with intelligence (much like yourself ) is OK sure
but common sence allows everyone access
to that great pool of Love
we are already-in,
believe Me.

Mind can be maddening when love is desired.
Love is also practical.

errr,
or Has he already made his entrance?
eeek!

peterpam wrote:lol gm, nobody with that WOW factor, passed my way as yet. Enjoying looking.

[i]

Perhaps the grief is getting to me a little bit but, Huh?

Sorry Newbie hun, that last comment from GM was directed at me.
Dena sounds like you had a beautiful day, my heart goes out to you, Pam

Hello GM,
I love the "World of Wisdom"and yes I would hope that when that special person appears for me, he will be wise, be intelligent, he will have a beautiful heart and a restful soul. He will be my lover, my freind, my confidant, but he will also be his own person. He will need to be strong, be compassionate, be playful, be beautiful and most importantly be my equal.
Common sense and life experiences have taught me to have an open mind, an open heart and be very patient.
There now, I don't want much do I, but I know hes out there, lol.
Take care my freind, hope all is well with you and your lovely family.

mmm,
golly gosh!
what if He's in here and you dont know it Pam?
He could be reading all your posts and wondering
HOW to broach the subject!

When My partner found Me
I were facing the otherway-round;she saw the back of My head first!
In the depths of Her mind, that small voice piped-up and told Her," thats the man you are gonna marry!"
She imediately were taken aback, told Her Boss and he said she'd better get out there and get a look at His otherside,which She did. She came out into the restaurant pretending to wipe tables and worked Her way around the Cafe hoping to get a full-frontal, whilst i watched her out the Corner of My eye wondering who the new long-legged waitress in the short-SHORT mini was that seemed pre-occupied and were hardly cleaning the tables at all. Finally, she made it to my Table and asked "is everything were alright!"
What could I say;I had just moments earlier become speechless when she bent to pick up spoon from the floor infront of Me!
I just said, "WOW!"
Two further days of Roast Beef sanwiches with gravy
saw Her asking me to her flat,which frightened the Hell out of me.

I had never been chosen before.
Infact, I had given-up on Women and were beguining to wonder
was i GAY?lol

You are a very lucky man GM, but you choose one another. You were meant to be there, just as your lovely wife was also meant to be there. I beleive, when two people are meant to be together there will be away and they will find one another.

you maybe right there Pam.
I had flown to WA from NZ, with a Wife who was sucking me dry.
All she could thaink about was using our Money for her bettering Herself
in the New Age of Enlightenment.
I had no idea that we would split up in WA,I was simply putting my-everything into it and getting no-where in life.She dumped Me!
Thank god for that!

I think maybe you got the enlightenment. and you give light, love and hope to all those around you.
GM as I look at your photo, I see a path that has no ending, I can see light and beauty, and I can see that this is a reflection of yourself.
Take care my freind, lovely to chat, but I's gots to go

fare well dear friend...
you see surely right.

Hello everyone

Firstly, my goodness Newbie I feel for you. I am also the partner of a very ill husband. Love to you honey xx

This is my first post - my husband had a breakdown 18 months ago. He could not function, couldn't speak, couldn't focus his eyes, couldnt walk to the letterbox, couldn't toilet himself and had to walk around with a list where I had written, go to toilet, drink water bla bla...and had planned to take this life. Since then we have been in a constant drug experiment - finally after a number of diagnosis he has been diagnosed with mixed state bipolar. He was psychotic and spent $5000 on war memorabilia. He is now much better - we have 2 young children and I have been working and keeping the family together for this time, I have also been diagnosed with clinical depression - the strain I think but residual post partum depression too.

At the moment, they are considering ECT as he is still significantly unwell. It has been hard on the marriage, especially finding out that in his pyschosis he slept with the bosses daughter - but anyway, all that aside I could not have walked away from him. I KNEW that there was something seriously wrong. I KNEW that the man I had loved for 12 years would NOT have done that, and I did alot of soul searching. And, I knew that he did not deserve to be left in the gutter. Anyway, I am still fighting for him, fighting to keep the family together and fighting to keep the marriage together for him, me and the children.

Over and out, just introducing myself. Thinking of you Newbie - its a beautiful photo xxoo

wow 6egirl, you have been through so much. I can't imagine how difficult that must be to go through. Welcome to this site and I hope that you find it useful

Thank you 6egirl I happened upon this site as one does goggling resources for a better understanding of J's depression. I never knew it would be the site I would have to announce her depths and her eventual death. The people on this site are amazing and if you find this as useful a place to blurt, winge and seek enlightenment (as I have) you have found caring home.
My journey is very, very new and very, very raw but I on it now and need to seek a final (or one of many) destinations.
Newbie

Morning 6egirl, firstly sending you hugs, you are dealing with so much. I am pleased you have come to join us and hopefully we can at least give you some support. At the moment I have to run off to work, but I will be back early evening and will responde to your post..

Morning Newbie hun, hope you are looking after yourself.