Introducing Jaffakiwi

Hi All,
First I just wanna thanks Shadowsmum... I started a thread on trademe because I am struggling and she was kind enough to point me here. I am a 24 year old guy and a student. I originally started at massey here when I was 18, but because I've suffered from depression getting my degree hasn't taken the usual 3 years it should have. I've suffered from depression pretty much constantly since my late teens. I went from a strict, structured school life at home, to having the freedom to whatever I wanted, and well, without being told what to do I soon became very depressed, thinking there was no point to life. I still feel this way today. My main problems these days are apathy and no motivation to do anything. Also as a result of feeling numb apathetic, I make stupid decisions and do things I regret. I seem to go through a constant cycle of being on track with everything, and then it all falling apart. It goes up down, up down, up down. Unfortunately the down part usually lasts twice as long as the up part, as the apathy stops me from taking steps to help myself. I've also been on many types of medication. First was amitriptyline, then fluox (prozac), then Citalopram (Celepram), and now I've just started venlafaxine (effexor). The one I've just started is the first one that has made me feel nauseous, and doesn't seem to be as effective and citalopram was.

Well I think I should leave it there as I don't want to overload you all with too much information. But feel free to ask me questions and if anyone can help me feel any better, I'd be appreciative.

Mate,
I think you'll find that much of what you say and have experienced, will resonate with a lot of us here.

The governments Medsafe website has awesome info on all prescription meds available here in Aotearoa New Zealand - the link is http://www.medsafe.govt.nz/profs/Datasheet/datasheet.htm

Motivation is a real bugger - if anyone has some answers (dangling shortbread on a stick in front of me sometimes works) I'd love to know them too.

Thanks for the way you introduced yourself - its good to meet you. Take care.

Hi Jaffa,

I think you will find this board good support i know i have. Depression seems to come in waves for me too, the hole 2 steps forward and one back and in some cases the other way around as well ( or it feels like it at least ). But at the end of the day we still have to get up and deal our lives in whatever shape they form. This place has given me a safe place to be where i can ask questions or just blob out which ever i feel i need to do. The other great thing about here is it unconditional, no judgements from others purely because they have been there too, and thats comforting.

Well I sure hope that I see you in the chat sometime when you ready, and untill then tc.

Belle xx

Hi Jaffa,
welcome and thanks for sharing your abbreivated story.
i hope you find this wonderful site as good as i do, everyone here is suffering and we help each other out.
check out the chatt room at the bottom of the first page too, it can get quite busy in the evenings
Once agian welcome

Welcome Jaffa, i saw your thread on trade me! Seriously Ive been where you are as lots of people have and im still there some 5 years since i finished uni! You communicate really well, that was a well written intro!

Note to Paddy: Perhaps a "introduce yourself - if you feel like it" thread isnt a bad idea! not that i would know what to write about myself!

But yes i know the feeling of, so now what? Is this what lifes about? this adult stuff sux? Why do i have to make my own decisions? Arghhhh!

OK thats inspired me to go write a big moaning post about how being an adult sux. I challenge someone to write the positive side! I could probably right both because im too much of a rational thinker, im one of the most indecisve people you will ever meet! But im full of advice!

So definately come back and chat Jaffa, id love to know what you are studying? and what student life is like these days?