newbie

Hi, I'm new to this... not just the site sharing in general. I guess I don't want to bring people down with me. I have serve depression for over a year now, but I feel like I have always been 'sad' and my boyfriend has just told me he isn't strong enough to be with me while I'm unwell. So I'm here, looking for hope, a sense of belonging and a hint of encouragement. Things do get better, right?

Hi Allie, I guess that everyone that is on this site is in the same boat, and yes there will be a better ahead. I am looking for the better myself, having had severe depression for over a year, been hospitalized for 3 months last year, and still finding that it is easier to sink rather than swim. People say there is a light at the end of the tunnel, heck! I can't even see the light and it seems more like a dark maze than a tunnel, but I just go thru each day moment by moment. One thing I have found therapeutic is getting an animal. They NEED you, so you feel that responsibility to be there for them. And to have their adoration given in return is rewarding. They also don't demand much from you, but are just 'there'. Breakups are always hard, and it can make you think love stinks! It can make you think what is the points of loving or caring because it will end in hurt. I like this quotation:
Everyone says that love hurts
But that is not true.
Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts.
Everyone confuses these things with love.
But in reality Love is the only thing in the world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.
I have learnt that while feeling 'sad' I pull away from everyone, and retreat into a shell, in fear of getting hurt. But it doesn't pay - if family or friends reach out to you, let them come. They reach because they care. Do you have a good therapist to work with? That helps too.
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on, the tide will turn". Hang in there!!!

[quote="CarrieG"]Hi Allie, I guess that everyone that is on this site is in the same boat, and yes there will be a better ahead. I am looking for the better myself, having had severe depression for over a year, been hospitalized for 3 months last year, and still finding that it is easier to sink rather than swim. People say there is a light at the end of the tunnel, heck! I can't even see the light and it seems more like a dark maze than a tunnel, but I just go thru each day moment by moment. One thing I have found therapeutic is getting an animal. They NEED you, so you feel that responsibility to be there for them. And to have their adoration given in return is rewarding. They also don't demand much from you, but are just 'there'. Breakups are always hard, and it can make you think love stinks! It can make you think what is the points of loving or caring because it will end in hurt. I like this quotation:
Everyone says that love hurts
But that is not true.
Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts.
Everyone confuses these things with love.
But in reality Love is the only thing in the world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.
I have learnt that while feeling 'sad' I pull away from everyone, and retreat into a shell, in fear of getting hurt. But it doesn't pay - if family or friends reach out to you, let them come. They reach because they care. Do you have a good therapist to work with? That helps too.



"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on, the tide will turn". Hang in there!!![/


This made me cry. Exactly how I feel right now. So ready to give up
quote]

Poem by Jill Wolf....


Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.

Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

It is easy to say 'yeah yeah it applies to someone else not to me'. That is how I feel, but I often have the words "Don't quit for you are not a failure, until you fail to try'. It helps me to think think there was a glimmer of hope around the corner, that the battle we are fighting might soon be over.
Last week I designed a tattoo that I would plaster across my chest. "Useless, worthless, beyond hope and beyond help". It would be a permanent reminder of who I was and how I am.
But one thing keeps me from doing,