bored with life again (language warning)
3 posters
The Big Black Dog Message Board & Chat Room (TBBD) :: Depression & Mental Illness Discussion :: The Ventilation Chamber
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bored with life again (language warning)
Do you know what its like to be completely bored, all the time, with life in general?
I have no desire to be around people because everybody is annoying, everybody judges, or everybody makes me feel crap about myself.
I have no desire to spend hours in a job where everybody is bitchy, nobody is ever happy and the job itself is tedious. On top of that, I dont think any other workplace would be any different.
I have no desire to get out of bed, or leave my house for any reason - what reason is there?
I have no desire to live, yet many people scream and shout that suicide is selfish and is not an option. Those same people that expect you to get out and work for a living. I have no desire to work for a life I dont want to live.
I have no desire
at all.
People say get outside and get some exercise. People say go for a walk. People say surround yourself with friends. People say try medication. People say get counselling. People say reach out to god. People say get a 9-5 job. People say get an education. People say try philosphy. People say read "X Y Z".
I have tried all of these things and so much more and NONE OF IT has made me feel any differently about life. The world, is a shit hole.
I am 25 years old. People say I'm still a spring chicken and I have my whole lot ahead of me. Well, I feel the opposite. I have felt for the past few years that I've lived more than enough of this shit life. I feel that I've experienced more than enough, and I'm ready to get of the ride.
This world is just too full of people who expect too much of me. And by too much, I mean anything at all. I am tired - I am wary. I give up. If you dont like me, that is fine, I can live with that. If I didn't, or don't meet your expectations, that is ok. I'm sick of worrying about that. If you dont like me, don't worry, you're in good company.
I get it loud and clear. I'm not good enough. I'll never be happy. And perhaps I should give up trying. But even then I wouldn't be good enough, eh?
You and your fucking expectations. Get fucked.
I have no desire to be around people because everybody is annoying, everybody judges, or everybody makes me feel crap about myself.
I have no desire to spend hours in a job where everybody is bitchy, nobody is ever happy and the job itself is tedious. On top of that, I dont think any other workplace would be any different.
I have no desire to get out of bed, or leave my house for any reason - what reason is there?
I have no desire to live, yet many people scream and shout that suicide is selfish and is not an option. Those same people that expect you to get out and work for a living. I have no desire to work for a life I dont want to live.
I have no desire
at all.
People say get outside and get some exercise. People say go for a walk. People say surround yourself with friends. People say try medication. People say get counselling. People say reach out to god. People say get a 9-5 job. People say get an education. People say try philosphy. People say read "X Y Z".
I have tried all of these things and so much more and NONE OF IT has made me feel any differently about life. The world, is a shit hole.
I am 25 years old. People say I'm still a spring chicken and I have my whole lot ahead of me. Well, I feel the opposite. I have felt for the past few years that I've lived more than enough of this shit life. I feel that I've experienced more than enough, and I'm ready to get of the ride.
This world is just too full of people who expect too much of me. And by too much, I mean anything at all. I am tired - I am wary. I give up. If you dont like me, that is fine, I can live with that. If I didn't, or don't meet your expectations, that is ok. I'm sick of worrying about that. If you dont like me, don't worry, you're in good company.
I get it loud and clear. I'm not good enough. I'll never be happy. And perhaps I should give up trying. But even then I wouldn't be good enough, eh?
You and your fucking expectations. Get fucked.
jaffakiwi- Number of posts : 248
Location : Palmy
Registration date : 2010-01-23
Re: bored with life again (language warning)
Hi JK and sorry to hear that you are bored with life again. I really don't know what to say that isn't trite so..I won't. I can tell you that I can understand your frustration at everything, especially when you do go through the rigmorale of attempting to heal yourself and nothing seems to hit the spot. Not only is it exhausting, but it's demoralising. I hope that posting here helps, even in a very very small way. I know when I need to vent I'm grateful to have somewhere to do that where I'm not judged as the nut bar that I am! JK take care and hope things improve for you.
becks- Number of posts : 238
Age : 52
Location : Christchurch
Registration date : 2009-09-27
Re: bored with life again (language warning)
Jk
Please don't give up just yet,
i know you are tired and sick of it all
I really don't blame ya
I mean really when one is feeling as bad as you are, what is the point?
But please give it one more go, one more for the road
Life isnt ment to be this hard
it really isnt
we dont live in a third world country, so life is ment to be reasonably good!
so please give it one more go
go back to the dr
tell him/her that life sux!!! and you want them to help u fix it!!
tell them how bad you are feeling
if they dont help/listen then go to someone else
keep banging on their door til u get a result!
and don't worry about what other ppl want from u, you are right they can get fucked!!! its not about them, its about you.
get mad at the illness that is taking your joy away
life isnt ment to be this hard
fight for your right to be happy!!!!!
keep fighting JK
YOU are worth fighting for!!!!
Please don't give up just yet,
i know you are tired and sick of it all
I really don't blame ya
I mean really when one is feeling as bad as you are, what is the point?
But please give it one more go, one more for the road
Life isnt ment to be this hard
it really isnt
we dont live in a third world country, so life is ment to be reasonably good!
so please give it one more go
go back to the dr
tell him/her that life sux!!! and you want them to help u fix it!!
tell them how bad you are feeling
if they dont help/listen then go to someone else
keep banging on their door til u get a result!
and don't worry about what other ppl want from u, you are right they can get fucked!!! its not about them, its about you.
get mad at the illness that is taking your joy away
life isnt ment to be this hard
fight for your right to be happy!!!!!
keep fighting JK
YOU are worth fighting for!!!!
mistameenah- Number of posts : 206
Location : auckland
Registration date : 2009-12-28
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