Counselling for depression

Hi there, I have just begun counselling for depression and wondered if anyone would like to share their positive or negative counselling experiences. So far I feel that my counsellor is saying I should leave the past behind and start from now to move forward - not sure what I expect from counselling but I feel that I need to deal with some things from the past b4 moving on. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hiya,
I will send you a Message here, once I get off me bum and find what I just couldn't, on me 'puter. I know its here somewhere.

Its just something I did for me, during counselling funded by the ACC Sensitive Claims Unit a couple or three years back.

Its still relevant to me and Yeah, I think there are definately 'things' we don't need to carry all the time and thats a skill to be worked on; to give yourself 'permission' to not carry specific loads or burdens or what is more rightly other peoples guilt for THEIR shameful acts, not ours.

Buy lots of tissues, too and don't be embarrassed to express tears, anger, fear, hurt, hopes, dreams, expectations, anything and everything. This is a chance for you to have some 'wins' - it won't be easy, but damn its worth it. I reckon, any way. And I couldn't stand my counsellor, pffft.

I guess I'm still a 'work in progress' lol, and wish you all the best.

Paddy.

Thanks Paddy - look forward to receiving your msge.

Hi Fire-monkey,

One of the things the counsellor should have done with you within the first few sessions is set out goals for what you wanted to achieve with the counselling.

I agree sometimes you have to deal with past issues before you can moved forward but sometimes oyu just jave to drop the baggage and move on.

If you are uncomfitable with the methods the counsellor is useing or what thry are saying bring it up with them and maybe seek another counsellor.

Thanks for replying Roswell. It is early days for me, having only had 2 sessions so far. Counsellor has given me lots of 'therapy' printouts to look through over the Xmas break as won't be seeing her again until 19 January. They look interesting, to do with reducing stress, changing negative thinking etc, so maybe goals will be talked about a little later. Many thanks.

hi there firemonkey

I have had the 5 odd 'free' councilling visits and am now onto ACC. My first councillour was good and gave me plently of literature, but I wasn't ready for what she wanted me to do.

Now I think I am, I figured that i didn't have to do stuff she mentioned straight away, but when I was comfortable.

My Acc councillour has come at the right time, when I need to make changes for me..

Hi fire_monkey ....... I have had loads of counselling - wouldn't have had a clue how to deal with depression if I hadn't.

Sometimes counselling meets the need to be understood and/or listened to. I suppose it really depends why or what one needs counselling for.

Most counsellors have been helpful - but one or two more helpful than others. Learning some strategies has been good for me - and understanding how the dysfunctional family I come from affected me and my development.

Good to see you here on TBBD. .................. Daze

Hi Mylife and Daze, many thanks for replying

It's a huge relief just to be able to talk without being judged. Wish I'd done it years ago - am so ready now though to do whatever it takes to be happy.

Karen

Hi Fire Monkey

I had my first counselling session mid December. The guy was 24 and really "enthusiastic" about his job.

I don't see him again until 20th January 2010 and like yourself I am seeing him for depression. One wonders what one is to do in the meantime.

Thank God for Paddy and this board or I wouldn't have been able to "pull myself together" this Christmas.

careful, paddys ego won't let him get his head through the door......

But you are right Maritine, he has done a great job here,

Good on ya paddister!

Hi Martine

I know what you mean about the long wait till the next session. My counsellor gave me some printouts from a site called beyondblue.org.au which I‘m occupying myself with. One is called ‘changing your ‘. thinking’. It’s designed to help change negative ways of thinking to more helpful ways of thinking (called cognitive behaviour therapy). It asks you to write down various situations as they happen to you (I.e. an argument you may have etc), your thoughts about that situation, your feelings and the way you behaved in response to it - quite interesting, as it really highlighted for me the very negative and critical feelings I have about myself and the destructive behaviour I use instead of resolving stuff (hope that makes sense). Also found a site called depressionforums.org - what a enlightening read - really makes you realise how many people are in the same situation as us. Apart from that I’m keeping a little diary each day just of thoughts that occur to me (looking at them, they’re horribly negative), plus making myself do some exercise each day, whether gardening , walking etc (suggested by counsellor) which has helped keep the mood up. Also ate a whole pavlova on Xmas day which helped J Maybe some of these ideas appeal to you to while away the next couple of weeks. Good luck with your counselling Martine - don’t know about you but just doing something positive is a great mood enhancer. All the best Karen

Thank you fire monkey for your kind message you are right education about this is everything. But the illness itself is overwhelming sometimes, as you say with the horrible negative thoughts. The idea of going back to a mental health unit as a staff member the way I feel is enough to strike terror in me.

You get used to being insulted verbally, punched, hit slapped spat on, but it eventually takes it toll and it did on me finally and I'm 50 and don't know what else to do with myself, I've been nursing since I was 17 and haven't a clue how to turn this around.

Oh Martine, didn’t realise you are a mental health worker. Being in your line of employment must be highly stressful, especially over a long period - I’ll really feel for you. Why should you/would you return to that environment. I think the time comes to move on - sometimes we just choose to and other times we’re forced - I ‘m 53 and realised about 10-12 years ago that my job had run its course and was making me unhappy, but didn‘t do anything about it. Just didn’t know what else to do, as that particular line of work was so ingrained in me (been doing it since leaving school, like you) - counselling would probably have been helpful then too. I hung in there and was finally forced out about 5 years ago when my job made me very ill through stress. I haven’t yet found something meaningful to do - have just been doing fill-in jobs really (mainly thru losing a lot of self esteem due to the stress from my last job), but one of my hopes is that counselling will help me move onto something worthwhile that will suit me as I think at the age of you and I, we still have plenty of life left in us yet - ‘retirement’ seems to be becoming more a thing of the past - people are pursuing new careers/exciting lives at all ages. I may yet be an artist in a garret (as might youJ). Please enjoy your Xmas holiday - here’s to a new beginning in 2010. Karen xx

Maritine - what are you interested in? Can you use that to have a job you enjoy?

I am interested in people like us getting a fair deal. Its all very well john kirwan and mike king etc coming out of the closet and saying how they have suffered.

They can afford private discrete health care. We can't we need our jobs our homes our money that we earn.

We have lost jobs due to illness, I am furious that I still feel undermined and embarrassed because of my depression as if I am not to be trusted, and this by my colleagues in a mental health unit.

I love my work, I care for the people in my care and I believe its not just about putting the fire out and discharging them to nothing, no food at home, their pets not cared for, but I get told that's "not my job" it is if my client is distressed by these circumstances. I won't go on or I'll never stop. Sorry.

Hi I worked 15yrs with people with Intelectual an Physic problems and ignored the signs of burnout an Now have been diagnosed with Serve Depression . I think Counselling is good but it really helps if you click with your counsellor an also create a good support group for your self etc . I did a counselling course through work an sometimes people may not quite be ready but when they are open enough it helps . Somethings from past do need to be worked on but others don`t always , during the break I would recommend writing down thoughts , feelings , worries an past events you may have concerns about and give this to your counsellor an keep a copy . Sometimes its easyer to write down than talk about things an if you keep a copy you can add to as you wish . Hopes this helps some . Also remember you are not alone an lots of people have been there an understand how you feel .

Hi Westdude thanks for some of the things you have written here, I think they are really useful, especially when you mention writing things down. I have a meeting this week which will be an overview of my mental health with a team of health professionals. I am really nervous about it so will do what you have mentioned and write down some things which I am bound to forget and take them to my appointment so thank you for that.

Hi Becks thanks and hope it helps I have found writing down and keeping a copy helps a lot and in future times you can look back on it and see how far you have come so far . Good luck this week ! .