over this

Hi Quirky. I understand that feeling. Its horrible, scary and a sad place to be. I have been treated much of my life for this bloody black dog.

Its horrible walking thru a day, watching others doing same kinds of stuff you are, and happy, and I/we cant /dont feel it.It does make life feel pointless, the bads outweigh the goods.

Reality for us is, we are here, we just got to do it!
I find the hardest thing is other peoples bloody expectations. Some days I am good for bloody nothing, and really just want to pull the bedcovers over my head and stay there. Just sleep it away for the day, but, I feel I cant, its expected we get up and do it........

i dont know the answer. I know I hurt, I cry, I fight with people who love me(theres not many of them) I hate myself.

i just want you to know you are not the only one who feels sad and bad. Take heart in that fact!

Wow, what you wrote is how I feel.

It just makes me more tired, more over this.

Hi Qwerky and Apricot I am sorry that you both are going through mental and emotional anguish. If I could, I would take it away. I hope both of your days improve. As usual I don't know what to say really other than my usual-hang in there. I have felt what you both have and I'm testamount that things do get better and you will feel better than you do now. Kind thoughts and best wishes to you both. Becks.

Cyber hug to you. I know damn well how much it hurts. Makes me sad, and mad, were ok though!

Thanks for that Becks, It is simply a good feeling to be able to talk openly, to not have to lie about how we feel.

I think it is vital to be able to talk truthfully, no point saying anything if its not the truth of the matter.

Thanks again Becks, Have a great day.

Thanks Becks. You are very kind.

How do people put up with the pain of this. How do we manage to get by day to day?

Why do we get put through this. There has to be a reason, doesn't there??


This whole thing drowns me out.
I hate myself too. I hate being like this. I hate seeing the hurt in the people who cares, eyes. I hate being so BLOODY tired all the time.

I hate my outlook on life. I hate the fact that it has to be my fault i'm like this.

I hate that I can't change a damn thing, that nothing I do is worth anything.

I HATE that I should be so so thankful, so happy to be me, but i'm not.

I dont know Qwerky,

For me, I was always different, but, my councellors say im 'normal'...yeah right!
Thats crap too.
I have many phobias etc that control my life, I have worked with councellors on and off for soo many years, its like, hellooo, this is me!

i mean, how can I change all about me, and I litterally mean all aabout me, I would not even be me. Not that I am taken with who lives in my shell.

I dont know, just know you aretn alone, and neither are you and I alone!

Hi Qwerky and Apricot just a quick message to say I've been thinking of you both and hope that today has been better than yesterday. Take care and hugs to you both.

Things are ok today.

Hi Qwerky it's good to hear that you had an ok day. That sounds like an improvement from yesterday. I hope tomorrow is ok too. Take care.

I hope it will be too.

All I can do is hope..

This place doesn't seem worth it at times.
I'm trying to stay calm and focused, but knowing that I will need to be working for the rest of my life basically, it doesn't seem worth it..

sigh

Hey look at the bright side.

Working means that you have holidays, if you didn't work you wouldn't have them!!

True I suppose

Thats what a good friend of ours used to say.

He was retired and missed his 'holidays'.

I always keep that in mind,

I wish I enjoyed my job more. I wish I was happier being me.