Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
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The Big Black Dog Message Board & Chat Room (TBBD) :: Depression & Mental Illness Discussion :: The Ventilation Chamber
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Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Thursday night they all but kicked me out, made me feel very wanted and like it was too much trouble for me to be here. So I decided that I would go home late Friday afternoon. Friday comes, weather is perfect and lovely. Parents manage to convince me to stay until Saturday as planned. During the night it rains. Get up Saturday morning, heaps of strong wind, wet patches outside, and I've got to travel home. Bloody brilliant, someone who pretty much has no confidence anymore in driving, driving long distance in strong wind and possibly rain. WHY DID I NOT GO HOME YESTERDAY ARVO AS I WAS GOING TO!?!?!?!? Not looking forward to this.
logical-cents- Number of posts : 882
Age : 36
Location : New Plymouth
Registration date : 2009-03-07
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
You'll be fine hun, you can do it. Take your time and take lots of breaks. Travel at a speed you are comfortable with and just pull over if you think you are holding up any traffic. With a little luck, the wind will drop and you will enjoy your drive. Take care.
peterpam- Number of posts : 653
Location : christchurch
Registration date : 2008-10-26
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
hmmm speed I'm comfortable with, ummm around 20-30kms maybe if that, lol. Yes am hoping that once out of New Plymouth/Taranaki the wind disappears.
logical-cents- Number of posts : 882
Age : 36
Location : New Plymouth
Registration date : 2009-03-07
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
You will make it little daffodil, we are all thinking of you and imagining you arriving home safe and sound. Stop off for coffee and a snack and maybe a bit of window shopping or a walk along the way to break the trip up. Look forward to seeing you in chat later on.
Guest- Guest
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
its rude not to listen to ones parents
or anybody else who have taken the time to speak-out!
What you have unfortunately over-looked here LC is making a GAP before responding to their offerings!
We must look for gaps in relating to others, during conversations, gaps where we can savour what were said and listen for our own choices to become appearant. Hearing is like see-ing. Before responding, make sure you have made a GAP and you have truelly taken-in what were spoken, as well as surveyed the many responses you will notice you have inside.
There is HARDLT-EVER only yes and no functioning as the choise inside the bodies Mind.
You need to beguin noticing where your Power Lays!
its rude not to listen to ones parents
or anybody else who have taken the time to speak-out!
What you have unfortunately over-looked here LC is making a GAP before responding to their offerings!
We must look for gaps in relating to others, during conversations, gaps where we can savour what were said and listen for our own choices to become appearant. Hearing is like see-ing. Before responding, make sure you have made a GAP and you have truelly taken-in what were spoken, as well as surveyed the many responses you will notice you have inside.
There is HARDLT-EVER only yes and no functioning as the choise inside the bodies Mind.
You need to beguin noticing where your Power Lays!
Never give your power away,
not even to your beloved parents.
not even to your beloved parents.
Last edited by greasemonkey on Sat Sep 19, 2009 2:05 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : green paint)
greasemonkey- Number of posts : 940
Location : -
Registration date : 2008-09-15
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Hey Logical-Cents
Take your time and make sure you are comfortable when driving. Make sure you pull over when it becomes a bit too much. Remember also, you need to get there in one piece and at your own pace.
Guest- Guest
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Arrived in one piece. Took around 4-4 1/2 hours, so bout an hour longer than usual. Am exhausted, but am going out tonight. Got 3 days though to rest before going back to work.
logical-cents- Number of posts : 882
Age : 36
Location : New Plymouth
Registration date : 2009-03-07
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Well done LC, see I told yah you could do it. Welcome back.
peterpam- Number of posts : 653
Location : christchurch
Registration date : 2008-10-26
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Its exhausting, isn't it LC - But hon, you did it, so you don't ever need worry about that particular trip, on this particular day, ever again. 'Cos you won.
Have a lovely time out tonight, you gadabout, you.
(Hey, you had a close call - I was going to stop off at your work the other evening on my way home and mix up the yoghurts, but I couldnt get out of the car when I stopped, so I didn't bother.)
Enjoy your weekend, LC, mmwah.
Have a lovely time out tonight, you gadabout, you.
(Hey, you had a close call - I was going to stop off at your work the other evening on my way home and mix up the yoghurts, but I couldnt get out of the car when I stopped, so I didn't bother.)
Enjoy your weekend, LC, mmwah.
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
lol Paddy, you coulda mixed up the yoghurts all you like. By the time I get back to work on Wednesday they woulda been sorted out and tidied up again.
logical-cents- Number of posts : 882
Age : 36
Location : New Plymouth
Registration date : 2009-03-07
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Hi logical-cents
It's so easy to see the negative in everything when you are down.
I do it all the time, but now you are able to go back and look into why you felt as you did when you wrote that first post, and maybe learn something from it.
What issues were you dealing with at the time they made you feel like it was too much trouble for you to be there?
Could that have influenced anything to make things feel worse.
Did you need extra support from them that night?
Could they also have been dealing with their own issues at the time and weren't aware of how you were feeling or able to help you just then? Friday afternoon comes and they convince you to stay.
I think what ever was going on with them on Thursday did had possibly started to sort itself out, and you stayed.
I assume you did, either out of obligation or because you wanted to,
you need to know which one.
The next morning the weather is bad and it can be very frightening to drive in those conditions, and it's natural for worry and a bit of fear to build up that you might have an accident, but is anyone to blame for the bad weather?
As I see it, the most that anyone could do would be for someone to check the weather forecast to see if is was meant to rain on the days you would be driving to and from their home, and maybe convince you to stay another night if it was possible.
I think you were very brave to have driven that day, and you had the good sense to take it slowly on your way home so that shows you are able to make wise decisions, you just need to learn to trust your rational judgment.
It's so easy to see the negative in everything when you are down.
I do it all the time, but now you are able to go back and look into why you felt as you did when you wrote that first post, and maybe learn something from it.
What issues were you dealing with at the time they made you feel like it was too much trouble for you to be there?
Could that have influenced anything to make things feel worse.
Did you need extra support from them that night?
Could they also have been dealing with their own issues at the time and weren't aware of how you were feeling or able to help you just then? Friday afternoon comes and they convince you to stay.
I think what ever was going on with them on Thursday did had possibly started to sort itself out, and you stayed.
I assume you did, either out of obligation or because you wanted to,
you need to know which one.
The next morning the weather is bad and it can be very frightening to drive in those conditions, and it's natural for worry and a bit of fear to build up that you might have an accident, but is anyone to blame for the bad weather?
As I see it, the most that anyone could do would be for someone to check the weather forecast to see if is was meant to rain on the days you would be driving to and from their home, and maybe convince you to stay another night if it was possible.
I think you were very brave to have driven that day, and you had the good sense to take it slowly on your way home so that shows you are able to make wise decisions, you just need to learn to trust your rational judgment.
Me- Number of posts : 131
Location : Auckland
Registration date : 2008-11-12
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Me it was more obligation, I didn't want to stay that last night after Thursday, but also I didn't want to drive home in the dark on Friday. I had an accident about 8 weeks at night in wet and poor weather conditions, so yes it is extremely frightening to drive in any weather where it is not daylight and is not a bright and still day. It was not possibly to stay there Saturday night and travel today as I had a previous engagement to attend on Saturday night in Cambridge.
logical-cents- Number of posts : 882
Age : 36
Location : New Plymouth
Registration date : 2009-03-07
Re: Why the hell did I listen to my parents??
Hi logical-cents,
It sounds like a very normal family relationship to me. Just like mine with my Mother, so you're doing well cause I'm a lot older than you and still do things because I feel obligated to.
I am slowly learning to set boundaries that I don't want crossed. I find it is working well but it's not easy cause you have to stand up for yourself until others get used to your changes.
I know that you can do it too, you have a lot of common sense. You just need to stick with the decisions you had made, but make sure everything you were feeling is sorted out as well as you can, so that you can kiss your parents goodbye and put all your energy and concentration into the drive back home.
It sounds like a very normal family relationship to me. Just like mine with my Mother, so you're doing well cause I'm a lot older than you and still do things because I feel obligated to.
I am slowly learning to set boundaries that I don't want crossed. I find it is working well but it's not easy cause you have to stand up for yourself until others get used to your changes.
I know that you can do it too, you have a lot of common sense. You just need to stick with the decisions you had made, but make sure everything you were feeling is sorted out as well as you can, so that you can kiss your parents goodbye and put all your energy and concentration into the drive back home.
Me- Number of posts : 131
Location : Auckland
Registration date : 2008-11-12
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The Big Black Dog Message Board & Chat Room (TBBD) :: Depression & Mental Illness Discussion :: The Ventilation Chamber
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