Feeling numb, putting up a wall

I feel so frustrated that I have seemed to put up a big wall around my emotions. I was at a counselling session today with my best friend, who got emotional and started crying. And though I was there and listening, I just couldn't feel emotion and felt like such an ass for appearing not to care and not knowing how to react.

I always considered myself to be quite in touch with my feminine emotional side, but now I just feel like a typical heterosexual manly bloke who has walled up and doesn't have feelings.

Emotion, compassion, where are you? Why do I find it so hard to connect with you?

hey Jaffa

It is difficult to know sometimes how to react in these situations sometimes. So don't be so hard on yourself. Afterall you were there supporting them weren't you?? That would speak volumes to me if you were sitting there with me.

Your s a great guy - so don't beat yourself up over it...

take care,

Yes, i agree it is hard to know what to do when someone else is upset.
Dont feel bad, you were being supportive just by being there.
And i have seen compassion and emotion in the replies you give.
So all is not lost ((hugs))

Sorry if I didn't explain it very well. My best friend (and ex partner) was at my counselling session with me (so he was the nice guy there to support me). The reason he was upset was because he venting all the frustration and hurt that I have caused him as a result of my depression... and all I could do was sit there numb and unresponsive.

it is hard to know what to do when someone else is upset

I stand by what was said yesterday.... you are not a selfish uptight unempathetic person...

I would think that you were numb because you may have come to the realisation that this person was venting perhaps because of your actions. Now they have vented do they feel better or worse? Either way, they probably still appreciated you being there....

I know from personal experiance that it is difficult to not hurt the ones your closest to because of your depression...I've been there and done that and much weaker partners would have discarded me a long time ago and my boys would be in a shared custody arrangement ...probably wondering if it was their fault.

So, what am I saying? I am saying that your reaction is totally natural. You are stunned and that is that. You are a good person and by being there you have provided support to your ex partner. They may appreciate it now perhaps, but to me you have shown that you still have a high level of commitment to that person.

Please keep us posted as I would really like to make sure you are ok too...you are cool!

Ok have just re read your post, they were at your session not the other way round (must be the blonde coming out in me again!!

But that is ok too.. I still believe your reaction is totally natural. You might not have been aware of their feelings until that point.

I still believe you are a cool dude and very obviously your ex thinks this too as they would not have been there with you otherwise.

Keep us posted MR!