I am not coping

I am on a massive downer today and I am scared. I am scared about what I am capable of. I am scared that I am a psychopath. I am scared that I have no feelings, and that I'll do something I regret if feelings return. I feel messed up, and crazy.

I tried calling mental health today. They said I need to go to a GP and get a referral before they will help me. I called the doctor and can't get an appointment for a week. I wish somebody could just take ownership of my mental problems. I want to see somebody on a long term basis. I want to confront the evils I have inside me.

Prolonged sigh.
Jaffakiwi

Hi Jaffa,

((((((HUGS)))))) to you, try to calm down and breathe deeply. do you have a mental health team with your local hospital, they have to see you if you ring, or try lifeline, they also have contact numbers too.
Thinking of you.
KandM

Hi Jaffa,

Sorry you're having such a rough time, I hope you're safe?

I had a look on the local DHB website -

http://www.midcentraldhb.govt.nz/ContactUs/ManawatuServiceContacts.htm

and see that the contact telephone number for the Mental Health Emergency Team in Palmy is 0800 653 357.

Take care of yourself and please, keep in touch?

Pat.

Jaffa....my email is on my profile if you need to talk.

I hope your ok hon

Hugs

Monsta

jaffa hun please look after yourself!

Do what you need to to get herd

Stay strong

Belle xoxo

thank you everyone for your kind messages. I am feeling better today. I have an appointment with my GP on Christmas Eve, and definitely intend to pursue long term counselling.

I am really glad to hear you are feeling better today
those real down days can be hard to get through...and I totally agree with belle...do what you need or have to do to make yourself heard...and we are always here when you need someone to talk to or vent to or scream to or whatever...be kind to yourself

Hi Jaffa

Good luck getting counselling. If they don't help you at once, keep pursuing the help. Do not give up. Hang in there, you can do it.

jaffa,
long term councilling is the way to go...make certain it is with someone who has troaden the path all-ready(an older therapist)or one who has a brilliant record in their practice of working with others.

Therapy is brilliant,
and can be exceptionally productive when you see how
you can help yourself with such practicing with another!

cheers!

thanks guys. Just thought I'd pop in with another update. Went to my GP and the doctor didn't necessarily agree with my decision to come off medication, but respects it. My nausea is currently a lot worse. Surely its the result of not agreeing with the medication right? I would hate to find that after all this, my nausea was caused by something completely unrelated.

Anyway, I pushed for my doctor to refer me to mental health, which he did. but he basically said they are more for acute patients, and they basically push people out the door as soon as they can. Why is it so hard to get long term counselling? Such a feeling of dismay... Anyway we'll see what eventuates. Will keep you informed. Nice to know I'm not alone here.

Hey jaffa, that is the same problem I had, no support for those of us who are not about to top ourselves or a threat to others! I really struggled until I found this site as my depression is pretty much under control but I needed ongoing backup and support to help me.

I was told that private counselling was my only option, at $140 an hour we can't afford that. So many people fall through the cracks as the system works on a 'sick - not sick' basis with no grey in between...

What drug are you coming off?

Coming off medication can be about taking responsibility for your life and saying enough is enough. I want to change, be happy, find something that works. That was the first step for me getting my life back after 11yrs and i am so glad i did. Read as many books as you can. David Burns, feeling good. Cognitive thereapy. I like lots of different authors like jack canfield and wayne dyer, there is loads. Reading will pull you through and sometimes do more than a counsellor can. Just realising you CAN change your thoughts and as a result FEEL better!!

Velvet!
brilliant post!

"Just realising you CAN change your thoughts and as a result FEEL better"

Taking charge of the mind certainly is the key to regaining happiness alright!
We can become too subjective in sickness,
which can keep-us attached to Feelings.
(usually the Not so good kind)
As we change ourselves,the OLDnSTUCK friends fall away,
and we ourselves move along to greener pastures,
whilst life becomes worth living again.
Reading is valuable as we interiorise the writers-meanings,which brings our-own power to the Fore and into action so that we achieve our goals.

Velvet I agree in part....but also, depending on the full circumstances, staying on medication or starting medication can also be about taking responsbility and admitting you have an illness...

responsibility must be owned
if one is into healing Oneself,
with or without Drugs.

BLAMING the world or others aint a thing thats gonna help us in anyway,
cept empty the Dirty waters from the coffers within.
That venting we must do if we cant use our creativity
to turn the wheel,and free ourselves of being stuck with unwanted feeling.

Medication has its place I agree...for those that are in a crisis. I just dont feel it has any long term bearing on healing. In my case it did the opposite. If I had looked within, instead of relying on the drugs, I would have healed a lot quicker. I believe they are for the short term, while working with the real problem. Too many people take them, and dont look at whats truely going on. Todays society is shrouded with so much negativity its hard to not buy into it, to loose faith and focus of what life is really about.
To look after yourself and heal the soul, you must sort out your thinking. If you are unwell it is usually because you have been looking in the wrong places and perhaps for the wrong thing.
We can all find peace, inside ourselves if we seek too

Wonderful post Velvet, your view on medication seems to be similar to my own. Your post gives me hope that there is more out there for me if I just look in the right places. I don't know where these places are, but by all means do share what has worked for you.

Eckhart Tolle, The Power Of Now, fantastic reading.
Wayne Dyer.
There are lots more. Realising you are doing it to yourself regardless of what has happened to you is the key to getting better.
So many people buy into the beliefs they are sick. different than happy people, had too much stress, etc etc etc
Read that book and get back to me...