The Loss Of A Father.

Ok my darlings, here goes my first attempt at a thread here.... if I ramble or make no sense.... you'll just have to deal with it!

I lost my Dad last Christmas Day, and over the past few weeks, I have only just come to 'dealing' with everything that goes along with that loss. I felt that I had to put my grief and wellbeing to one side to be able to carry on for my children, my oldest in particular who was his Poppa's biggest fan
The anger and pain was eating me up, I was taking it out on my husband and my children and even more so on myself. And being 35 weeks pregnant with our first daughter and the grandie girl that my Dad longed for so badly, well its wasn't healthy for me or for anyone around me.
Its been a long road and I know I still have so far to go in dealing with this, its all just still so fresh and clear. I see everything in such graphic detail, like high definition TV, everytime I just want to block it out.

Anyway, I guess the reason I'm posting this in the Ladies Room, is that I am hoping someone can shed some light on what its like to live without that 'Father Figure'..... that one man that you can rely on for anything, the one that loves you no matter what mistakes you make. I need to know that I'm going to be ok, I'm floundering, trying really hard to keep my head above water and work my way through each feeling every day... but its not easy.

Hi diggingdeep. I am sorry that I am not able to help you on this one.

All that I can say is be grateful that you had that father figure.... that one man that you could rely on for anything.....

I wish mine could have been that to me.

All I know from losing a couple of dear friends, is that it does get easier, but you never forget them - and you shouldn't try to.

I hope that someone else on here can offer you better words of wisdom than I can.

Hugs to you

LG

Thanks LG for your words of wisdom hun.
I'm thankful each day that I had the time with him that I did, and that he got to be a Grandfather to my gorgeous horrors.

Just not sure where to next, and what to do without that father figure. Am lost to say the least.

Hi diggingdeep, I suppose it's coming up to Christmas again and the grief will be very strong just now - anniversaries are very hard.

It is such a shame that Poppa didn't get to see and know his wee granddaughter. And it's hard for the other children to lose someone so close.

I often wonder what it would be like to have had a father like yours - too many of us didn't get what we needed.

It is very normal to be so upset and try and block it out but really 'better out than in' - as they say. I'm glad you've come in here to share your feelings. Hugs to you and yours.

Thank you Daze.
I've been dreading Christmas, and have been needing an 'outlet' for my thoughts more than anything I think. This forum lets me have that, and I feel safe, its a good feeling.

My oldest son (7 when he lost his Poppa), has taken my Dads death the hardest. He was the sunshine in his Poppa's life, right from birth. They look alike, they sound alike, its a spooky thing really.
My youngest son was 3 months when Dad passed, it was his first Christmas Looking back at the last time Dad held my littlest man, I can see the guilt and unhappiness in his eyes over not being able to give my boys the Poppa he thought he needed to be.
At the moment, I just can't look at photos of him with them towards the end, as the look in his eyes is so sad.

Hugs right back at ya Daze

hugs and thoughts are with you diggingdeep!

Monsta