not coping

Not coping
Not coping
Not coping
Not coping
Not coping
Not coping
Not coping
Not coping

Im really not coping at the moment... googling easy ways to kill myself is not coping in my books. I know I know, ring someone, talk to them. Well to be honest I dont want to because then they can talk me out of it and Im not sure I want to be if Im gunna do it. I dont think I would but when I find that thats the type of stuff Im doing? Well I dont know any more.

Iv tried going places on the net to chat, here, trademe, depression sites? No ones around, no one wants to know about it. Theres a couple of ppl from here that have been really good but I still feel like no one cares even tho they do.. if that makes sense? Well who cares if this makes sense Im just writing shit as I feel it cos I dont give a damn anymore. I even thought maybe I'll be lucky and die during my op this week (not very likely but I can dream)

sure, alot of ppl really dont care,
but thats the way they are.
MOST do care at their own level of Life-Appreciation
but they aint got themselves together at the level
youre working yourself-out, lilHaley.

Sad to say,
you are there and i am here,
yet my mind reaches out to hold you
to comfort you whilst you share
your innermost thoughts here on this Site.

I too have ventured into the shit,
so deeply that I looked into suicide as an option.
I think i wrote about the venture here,
Maybe it were in the mens-section;maybe it were taken off.
It wouldve been a good read.
Searching for ways to do yourself-in aint the best thing to do on the internet;obviously you CARE as you wouldnt be here off-loading that which you feel.Welcome,keep doing that as its a help in a way,but also shift your minds focus into the zone of 'stories where ppl have found their way thro this phase in their lives',
even though they didnt think it were possible at the time.

There must be avenues of 'near-misses' like my story was,
and they can be inspiring for others like yourself,
to see how others have found their way-out.

I did.
Today I am happy,and Im glad to be here with you Haley.
Please dump what-ever you may come up with Here
knowing that there is an end to stuff,
if we also settle into the little 'quiet spaces' that are there
between the big heaves of hurt that comes up
out from our hearts at times.

love.

Write your heart out Haley,
youre welcome here.

Hey Haley, first of all (((HUGS))) not because they'll do much for you right now but because I think you deserve them...you deserve to know that people care. Have you read this? http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ it's the first thing that comes up when you google 'suicide' I know cos i've googled it many times before. I know your having the suckiest time and things feel like they aren't going to get better but they will. You just have to get through this and I know you CAN. You are a strong person and you will get through this "strength is measured not by how you feel but by what you do"

Lots of Love

folly,
what a good find you offer.
There is much in there for folk to make use of...
Thank you.
a gem

It may not seem like much right now Haley, but I'm here to listen if/when you need to talk. Having someone to 'empty your mind out' to can lighten the load a lot.

The world is a brighter place with you in it hun, hold onto that... please hold onto that.

all true...
stay with it Haley.

off-loading untill you get to feel that still calm space again
thus we reconnect up-with
our inner resorces.

Use this Thread.

Holding back feelings
is definately not a health-producing thing for Ones Future.
These feelings we create(yes we do create them) must be expressed
they have the purpose of deepening ourselves
where we can recognise our own
true wisdom.

Dont punish yourself for expressing your feelings,
allow yourself to get-in-touch-with
the lightness of Life.

View this ordeal as a journey
into your Heart-Space
where your true love
sits waiting.

The seat of wisdom
lays in our Hearts.
go there whilst
in expression.

((((((HUGS))))) Lil.

Love leaps from my heart out to you. In this time of darkness may you discover your light. For you are amazing, although you don't feel it right now.

GM et al give good advice. Express every feeling and thought. Shine the light of truth in every corner of your mind & heart. Wisdom is learning from the worst of times and therein gaining strength to enjoy the best of times.

Love

How are you going now Ms Hayley? ok I hope

hey there Hayley

Firstly i need to give you a huge (((((hug)))))))

Expression is the word that jumps into my mind...... keep expressing -on paper, in voice, sing and shout out songs, get it out on here. We have chatted briefly and being newish you have helped and guided me through some very rough patches.

I hope you can feel the love people have for you..... with their replies to your post.

Your a beautiful lady - you care about others and that shows in your replies to other members on here. Take a moment to remember when you have given the gift of your support. Your generosity of spirit shows.

I found a website called www.booksie.com..... and have found it to be inspiring - for writers/readers etc - it may not be your thing but check out some of the poems - i have found inspiration ones that have helped...there are many topics to choose from. You can join free - and begin writing if you want to or not...some writers enjoy having a fan base and chat back and forwards leaving messages for each other..... like i said it may not be your thing.. there are stories there too..... and again lots of topics to choose from...to lose yourself in...

I hope your feeling a little better knowing so many care...

Arohanui

Wow.. I just read this thread and Im amazed. Mainly at the amount of caring people here and how I didnt notice it before with the depression clouding my veiw.

Also how I just don't feel that way anymore. I hardly ever feel depressed anymore, and Im only really taking my meds 2 or 3 times a week (when I remember). Going to the dr this week, and it might sound stupid, but I honestly think its the lack of gluten in my diet. Nothing else has changed in the past few months. I managed to cope with moving house, and all my assignments and exams coming up and Im fine. This time last year leading into exams and moving house I had to up my meds and I wasnt coping with life at all.

I can honestly say I am so happy now. Things with my partner are better than ever, Im actually enjoying work, Im studying and working hard with uni and doing well, and Im just on top of things. Im living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So I hope I can still hang out here guys, love you all and you have helped me through so much xXx

Hi there Haley

Glad to hear that your on the up and up. Maybe it is the gluten????

Have a look at this link http://www.foodintol.com/topic.asp?id=70

Hey there Hayley

So neat to read your last post acknowledging the positives and that you are coping - 'on top of things' that there is light at the end of the tunnel
You have a lot to juggle and wonder if your lacking some vitamin or mineral in your diet? Please do stick round here...coz we care!!!

we sure do