Hi, Is it ok for me to be with this site?

I don't have depression myself but my 16yr old son does. For 18mths he went undiagnosed with countless visits back n forth to the Dr's. It wasn't until he tried taking his life with pills (thank god it didn't happen) and showed me all his scars from his self harming that we finally got help as I demanded it. I had no idea that his moods were not part of the " Oh he's just a typical teenager" and I am still dealing with the guilt of not picking up on the signs, but in all honesty he really had no idea what was going on with himself either. So anyway to cut a long story short, is it ok for a Mum to be in this site. I just want to do the best I can to make life more enjoyable for him. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hell Yes.

This site is for people living with mental illness - that most certainly includes mums, dads, and anyone else who wants or needs to be here.

As a dad, I can say, I don't think most of us have the first clue of what signs to really look for. And as a (former, hopefully) cutter and self-harmer I'da done my damndest to make certain no one knew what my head was really like.

Please, don't take on guilt you don't need to have - instead, congratulate yourself on what you and your son have already acheived and enjoyed and for the help you have demanded he receive and for the love that you so obviously have for him.

Most definatly.
this site is great and has alsorts of info and people who have suffered many different things.
I also welcome you and hope to see you often
KandM

Thank you so much for making me feel welcome. I wished I had known about this site a lot sooner . I look forward to learning and understanding more with the help of others.

Hi Hellifikino

An as has been said before you are very very welcome. I am sure you will find much support and hope here. We look forward to getting to know you.

Please remember there is a live chat room on the home page if you scroll down a bit. The best times to find someone in there are probably morning, noon and from about 6pm onwards though it does vary depending on peoples days.I hope to see you there when you are ready.

Take care and all the best for you and your boy.

Hugs

Monsta

Hi Hellifikino and welcome.

As was send before, try not to feel too guilty for not knowing earlier - teenagers can be very good at hiding it - and hard to know if just teenage stuff or something more. At least now you have the diagnosis (sp) and you can work together to move forward.

I was diagnosed (sp) in my very early 20's, and when I was I was like "WOW" - so this shit isn't "normal"!!!???? I had been spending a lot of time in the "black hole" as i liked to call it, since I was about 12 years old. To suddenly find that I actually had a illness and that i could do something to make my life better was a huge relief.

My biggest advice is for you to understand that it is not always something that is just treated and goes away for good - maybe there are a few out there like that but prob not many.

I find now, that I am learning the signs better and can do what I need to do to get on top of it sooner.

I wish you and your son the best of luck, take each day as it comes.

And once again - welcome. You will find all sorts of stuff on here, and remember that if one treatment doesn't seem to be doing the job - try something else, we are all different and different things work for different people.

Hugs

LG

Hey, Hellifikno, as others have said...

I was diagnosed in my 20s but, knowing what I know now, had the depression from a very early age - but know one knew what it was and doctors just didn't seem to diagnose it then.

I only told my parents about it when I was in my 30s and their immediate reaction was one of guilt that (a) they might have done something to trigger it and (b) that they didn't pick it up earlier. I reassured them that it wasn't their fault, but I think they still wonder about that - and I am 42 now.

Good on you for finding out more about it and seeking support - and fighting for help for your son. Its something none of us should have to do, but seems that if we don't demand what is needed, we miss out.

Kia kaha.

hey hellifikno,

Its been said a few times already but maybe it wont hurt to hear (or read for that matter lol) again.

PLEASE, please dont feel too guilty about not spotting the signs.

I started self harming at 12 years old and was very good at hiding it. Even in my mid 20's my parents had no idea how bad my self harming was. I very convieniently "sprained my wrist" a number of times, which was in fact, a bandage worn on my hand to hide the cut marks. I wore long sleeve tops and never wore short skirts or shorts also.
It wasnt until my late 20's during another breakdown that things got really bad and i could no longer hide my illness from them. I was assessed finally and learnt that the methods i had used in the past - self harming by cutting, punching things so hard i broke my knuckles numerous times, abusing drugs and alcohol- were not the right path for me to take.
Even now in my 30's, i still have bad days where i want to take the old path and still miss my warning signs but for the most part, i am managing my illness pretty well with self monitoring by way of journal, support from my husband and his family and from a friend i call my angel because she saved my life once.
You are doing the right thing, getting help for your son and trying to learn as much as possible about mental illness. Over time, you may be able to spot the warning signs and help your son. I wish my family were as willing to understand as you are for your son.
Instead of feeling guilty you should feel proud that you perservered to get the help your son needed and that you are willing to learn as much as possible to support him the best you can.
Please, make yourself at home here and dont be afraid to ask questions. Although our own experience of mental illness wont be exactly the same as your sons, we will do our best to answer where possible.

Hi hellifikno,
Welcome. My son was diagnosed with depression when he was about 9 or 10.
I cried myself to sleep every night, I felt I'd passed on the depression gene & it broke my heart to see him the way he was. I had him referred to child & adolescent mental health but after a quick phone interview with me, they told me he wasn't severe enough to get an appointment. In a way, its lucky your son OD'd (& survived) cause he is considered severe enough to get help.
I was lucky to get my son a very good counsellor & he came out of it. In saying that, he's now 13 1/2 & I've had the year from hell with the teenage him so now I'm depressed again. he's now living with his father cause he was so nasty & aggressive to me & my daughter. At the root of his depression & his aggression was the need of his father, who wasn't there for him. Hopefully now he's with his dad, he'll be ok. Dad is going to get him back into counselling too.
Can I ask if your sons' dad is around? Boys sooo need their dads.
Anywhos, if you want to pm me feel free.

I was diagnoised at 13. I have a habit of self harm and use the old sprain wrist which is a classic, still use it.

My foster parents had no idea I was suicidal and was self harming till I left a suicide note note with a friend.

Just be there for him and left him know if he wants to talk your there, if not it cool. Do not push him into talking, trust me it will only make him withdraw into himself more.

All the best

You may find this group of help or interest, to you or your son? http://www.manawatusf.org.nz/

I was told to join this site as my wife has Depression & Bipolar and so i jioned site to share Infro so to help others in same Situation.