What do I do

I know I have asked some of you before. I don't want any feel good answer I need total honesty cause I can't get my mind around it all.
Do I discharge myself from mental health and the Hospital.
Depending on the outcome things could be easier or discharging myself could be the worst decision that I have made in a long time.
I'm not sure if i'm better or not. I think i'm better than I was a couple of years ago but don't know how to get back to normal anymore. I don't want just any job, I want mine. Why can't I enjoy not working.
If they are right it's my life that i'm playing with if not will they help me deal with whats going on or can't they. They say they don't know except that they think things are changing. Also They make me feel stupid, i never knew that I had a real problem with my memory, maybe the test answers were incorrect. Maybe being at home for so long has made things worse because i now have a lack of confidence in my abilities. I don't know if I want to know either way they might come up with something I consider to be worse. I just want to walk away from it all and start again but don't seem to be able to.

Maryann
Goodmorning to you - I hope you're well today?

My own thoughts on your question?

Its far too important to leave to 'chance' on a Message Board, no matter how well meaning we might be. Thats not said to 'diss' any other Members - only you, your health professionals and maybe a few special people who know you well, will know enough about you, your environment, your challenges, your capabilities, your strengths etc, to give informed opinions.

Don't forget, some of us at least (me anyway) wil not have a great track record over important decisons in our own lives.

My suggestion? Make a time to talk with your GP - and maybe his/her Practice Nurse. Ask for their considered opinions, based on their knowledge of you both medically, and as a battler and survivor. Ask whether, if you do discharge yourself, you can still receive backup and support from the medical centre as a first step.

Don't pull the bung outta the life raft and throw away the oars until the boats about to wash up on a nice safe tropical island - you don't want to be 'left adrift' or to feel like you have to do this next stage on your own.

I'm not currently under a psych teams care and have not been since late last year, but I know that if the boat starts sinking and I still want to swim, my GP will help me get help - provided I let him know its needed.

So, you can't afford to just walk away, Maryann - you need the peace of mind of knowing exactly where you can turn, and for what, just in case.

If its something you feel compelled to do, to regain more control of you then provided you stay safe, you're entitled to see if it will work out. Its more likely to work, with some structure, plans, and backup sorted out first.

And now, I'm, all wisdomed -out. It must be coffee time again.

Take care Maryann, keep thinking about the pros and cons and yeah, ask those who can really help you find an answer that fits the circumstances of you, your life and your questions.

Best wishes,
Pat.

See I have no choice really if i want to get my life back.


Hi Mary

Good to hear from you. I like the email animations too.

As I have said in the past, it is your choice whether you have the memory test. Having it, though, may help clear up a lot. The last one you had was early last year. Having another now, after that period of time, will give us a very clear idea of whether or not you do have something wrong. My hope, for your sake, is that you do well. But we will have to see.

Has our clinic been in touch to make an appointment for the testing?

No they haven't been in touch. And I'm trying to find out what choice I do have, none by what I can see if I want my old job back and no one has told me if they will help me with the problems that I know I have if I don't have the test.

Fair point. I think it is worth having it, it will clear it all up one way or another. Our psychologist should be in contact with you soon.

Hope you have a good weekend



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Doctors depress me.

Oh Maryann,

What can we do to try and help you, and how you are feeling about whats happening in and with your life?

I'm guessing my last answer to you, didn't help much - I'm sorry about that.

Do you have close friends and family for support and company when you need them? Do you have pets? What part of this beautiful country of ours, are you in? What sort of things interest you? What are you (not the medical people) finding difficult to manage, health wise? Are you finding limitations that weren't there before or that you had adapted to cope with, or do you reckon its more what some others say they are noticing? Being back at work sounds like a very important goal for you, Maryann - what was it you were doing?

Hey, you don't have to answer any of my questions, I'm just trying to find out more about 'our' Maryann, in the hope someone can give you better suggestions than I can, ok?

Take care, please Maryann - and if you want me to 'mind my own business', and not ask so many questions just say so - I won't be offended.

Pat.

Hi Paddy
I'm your age. I'm not ready to know if I have dementia or another problem in my brain that they can't fix. Dying doesn't worry me but living like this for the rest of my life does. I'm having my 80 year old Mother come to live with me tomorrow and she is had to get on with, always has been. She is under the blind foundation cause she is partly blind , her hearing comes and goes and I think she may have dementia. How am I going to cope.

I worked in early childhood. I loved my job. I seem to walk around the house not doing much but feel that i have. I go out for about an hour a week to to the shopping cause I don't like going out anymore. I do casual work when I want to but i want my job back but they wont give me a clearance. Demented until proven normal. That's how they are treating me. I only went to them to have my medication changed and this this where it ends up, not fair!!!

I was meant to have the test last December or January. They have put my life on hold for nearly 2 years for what might be no reason at all.

Oh mate,
You surely have a lot to try and cope with. It doesn't help when your family 'gives up' and leaves you to it, does it? I had 8 siblings and yet when dad was failing, there was only me to try and manage.

I told my dad when he was 80 something and not safe on his own, that it was either into a Home, or a pozzie under the Grafton Bridge - it was his choice, but I wasn't buying him a carton or an old newspaper to live in, he'd just have to do the best he could. He went into Ranfurly Veterans Home, in his last couple of weeks.

It really sounds like you need someone on your side, Maryann. Have you thought about asking someone like a health consumer advocate, for help?

I've just had a quick look at the Health and Disability Commissioners website http://www.hdc.org.nz/ and I see there is a group called 'Health Advocacy Trust' (HAC) which is contracted by the Commission to help people in the Auckland / Northland areas. The phone numbers for HAC are 0800 555 050, or 09 623 5799.

This is what the Health and Disability Commission website says about its Advocacy Services:

"The success of advocacy as a method of complaint resolution is tied in part to advocates’ philosophy of searching for solutions, not problems.

An advocate can often equip a consumer to resolve a concern directly with the provider.

In other cases, the advocate may provide ongoing representational advocacy for the consumer.

Advocates are particularly good at identifying the strengths of the current provider–consumer relationship and supporting consumers to explain how they would like things to work."

It may be worth making a phone call on Monday, Maryann, and talking with someone there?

Take care,
Pat.