I never had a Black Dog

I guys,

I just came across this site and thought I may as well make a comment or two regarding my new Black Dog.
Well in my case it is not so new. Rather it has been a discovery that I have had this thing for many years. I just needed to be at a particular point in my life to allow it to sink its teeth deeper into me. I think I first realized that something was wrong when I just started crying when siting opposite my beautiful wife at a restaurant in the Gold Coast. Once medication and support had brought me down to some level of normal (hey what's that) I secretly gave up my medication and carried on my life. A few months later when I found myself with my head in a plastic bag (exit one - O - one) I realized that there where some serious issues to be faced. From that moment forward I accepted that I had a substantial battle that need to be fought on many fronts. Luckily I had an army of friends and professionals to call into battle. In among all of this I suffered heart failure. This has been a bit of a bummer, as I have always been a very physical guy. Now I am down to just walking with no heavy lifting. Combined with depression it is an interesting cocktail.
Today, I am alive. I mean, really alive. Yes, depression is just around the corner and sometimes it is here with me in this room. When that happens I hop on a bus and change my physical environment. In other words........run!!!!
But no longer away from this Black Dog, I just put a led on it and take it for a walk.
I now stay on medication, I write about my experience of life and offer to assist others.
Over the period since this has been recognized as part of my life I have found many more who live as I do, and make the best of a bad burden.

For me, taking the dog for a walk has become my best management tool as has been accepting and recognizing that it is an illness that I can manage. Most times!!

Writing also helps me to move the unpleasant emotions from my head onto paper, and finally out of my system.

Am I happy? Yes.

Having stared down the throat of this Black Dog, and saved myself from being consumed (five times) I keep a steady hand on its collar and ensure my training keeps it at my heel. I hope one day to throw a ball so hard that the dog, while chasing it, forgets to come home. I hope!!

1nky.

hey 1nky, with you on the changing physical environment, ive been stuck a bit at home with no job to go to for a few months now and a newborn & wife at home, and just have to flee and do something or i just cant clear my head and get rid of the swamping of negative thoughts and emotions. good thinking with the writing, will try and do more of that