not sure what to do

have driven most of my friends away, my last day of work today, i can't talk to the fam that still talks to me even tho have moved back home with mum, have battled this for so long and everytime things look on the up they are not at all.
tired of seeing looks of dissapointment when see people. not sure what to do anymore really

Shadowfire,

I don't know the answers sorry, but I do know its good that you have somewhere where you can know that you DO have a voice and that you can say how things really are for you. And good on You for understanding that.

I don't know if keeping a Journal or whatever might help you? We have a Personal Journal section here at TBBD and you're more than welcome to make use of that. If you write something, you can edit it later, or if there is simply something you need to say for the sake of saying it, you can ask that folk not reply to that particular post.

Are you able to sit down and have a real talk with the Practice Nurse at your medical centre? It might be a way to 'ease' onto the wellness path again and you can ask the nurse to sit in on an appointment with your GP after the nurse has briefed the GP.

You can also write down how things are and how you're feeling and give that to the doctor, too. I do it from time to time, to make sure I am heard and I don't go back and 'edit' what I wrote, because often the choice of wording, spelling etc, is an additional insight which can be used to assist you.

If you need meds, I'd say, try them and see. They can take a few weeks before you notice a difference, but they can truly help. Tis a bit frustrating when meds have to be 'tweaked' and dosages changed or whatever, but its worth persevering with, because you are worth you persevering with you.

If you do get anti-mad meds, you can visit the govt's Medsafe website and print out or save the Consumer Information Sheet for that particular medication. http://www.medsafe.govt.nz/Consumers/cmi/CMIForm.asp

Or, just mention the name of a med here and I'll dig out and post the Link to it here. The good thing about those meds is, not all of the side effects are compulsory and different folk can have different or no problems with any particular anti-mad.

Hope I've not offended by referring to the meds as anti-mads - I do it for me, all the time, because it 'reduces' them then to nothing more than being like my anti cramp and anti pain and antibiotics and anti stay-awake-all nights, and that sorta stuff. Just, pills, ya know?

You take extra gentle care and don't look too hard for signs in others that you have disappointed, because chances are, you are being quite harsh on yourself at the moment.

Paddy.

HI Shadowfire
nice to meet you

Thanks for posting about your situation. I know it's hard, but try not to take other peoples opinions of you to heart. two reasons, there is always a good chance that the filter you see through means you have it wrong and actually they are trying really hard to care... and the other is that they're worth exactly what you paid for them. i.e. nothing!

there are a lot of good listening ears here, and like Paddy says... sometimes it's more important to be heard, than to hear advice.

xx

Hi Shadow fire...

Just keep on keeping on...try and keep your blinkers at the angle to keep out those who you feel dont approve etc....and just do your best on any given day.

Always remember, be it good , or bad...nothing lasts one way or the other.

XO