help wanted (or, my experience with mental health services)

As a child I was abused for two years. I witnessed grievous bodily harm and have been depressed ever since. So far I have been depressed for 9 years. I have a family history of mental illness.

I have been in and out of the public children's mental health system. As an adult I received a small amount of therapy from charities.

This year I have been in contact with mental health services central and west since approximately July (5 months).

In that time I have received no treatment whatsoever from the mental health services despite many hospital admissions for suicide attempts.

I have pleaded with them for respite care and therapy but have been told I will be called back, to never receive calls, or that someone else will take on my case, to never hear from them, or that I am currently suicidal to be told I pose no risk to myself, despite cutting my wrists while on suicide watch in hospital, or being just that morning pulled of Grafton bridge by the police.

The system doesn't work so im going to try private help.

I know how you feel I didnt get proper help till I ended up with a baby before that I always got given anti depressants. hang in there dont give up!

Ended up in te whetu tawera acute mental health unit shortly after posting that, i climbed onto grafton bridge on my 21st birthday. in respite now, awaiting dbt therapy, waiting list. dont know what's going to happen. just waiting.

Maybe your GP could help?

I have anxiety severe from 14 years of physical child abuse. I was previously put on anti depressants by all of my gps, which was ok for a little while but once i stop taking them all my worries come back.

So i recently changed my gp and he has been so amazing and organized for me to visit a psychiatrist and he does not want to put me on anti depressants, so he just gave me a beta blocker to help with my heart rate and sweating and shaky and stuff. He would not put me on anti depressants. but hopefully this time i can get help to deal with my problems without having mental nervous attacks every time i go outside and not have to go to the doctors every 3 months to get anti depressants.

I just hope the cost is not expensive.

after respite i went back into my flat, was offered dbt but it clashed with my nursing classes. now only on med therapy.

Considering how close you've been to taking your life several times now, perhaps the DBT may be one of the priorities you consider for your future, seeing you're working so hard to have a good one (with your degree)... the uni's are often flexible for such important healthcare concerns... give them a chance to show you how they can be helpful maybe? It'd be good to have you come through your degree healthy and happy!

unable to get dbt because im busy studying
unable to study becase im mentally ill

i dont want to stop studying, its my anchor in life.

but i dont really want to live anymore.