Repetitive behaviours - stuck in a loop?

A few weeks back everything crashed down on me and I started to have anxiety attacks - not full on panic attacks, just this formless dread that would make my heart race and stomach churn. I'd been off my meds since last November, but knew that this wasn't good - and went back on another one that I had at hand in case (long story). Knowing that I had 4-6 weeks before the damn stuff kicks in, I went to see Doctor who prescribed some 'calm me down' tabs that have been fantastic, but am being careful with them as I know they are addictive. They help me sleep on bad nights though...

Anyhoo, between doctor, counsellor and myself, decided to clear the decks and have a two week 'duvet dive' with no phone, no work, no internet, no email, no visitors. It was great, and just what I needed.

However, during this time I got into a bit of a loop with a series of books that I really enjoyed - the Twilight ones - and since then I have just been reading and rereading them in a continuous sequence. I am a very fast reader, so doesn't take me long to get through them. For some reason, they seem to calm me down - absorbing myself in this totally different world/story seems to take my mind of things.

Now, I do tend to get a bit obsessive about music and books, playing CDs over and over again, and reading my favourite books many times, but this really is a bit over the top even for me!! No sooner have I got through all four of the books in the series than I am starting again. I can't wait to find spare time to read some more, and I get grumpy if I can't get my 'fix' every day...

I mentioned this to the counsellor (as hubby is starting to give me stick about reverting to a second teenager-hood) and she commented that she's had a few clients say the same thing about this series, and she puts it down to pure escapism.

Anyone else get themselves into this rut with favourite books/CDs/other things to help them cope? I figure its better than alcohol/(illegal) drugs or gambling, but it is so unlike me that it does worry me a little. Mainly cos of what others think, I must admit - I'm in my 40s, for god's sake, not some silly tweenie!!

theres no age restriction on enjoyment....

if it bothers you how about grabbing a new series from the library, You will only have them for a few weeks so you wont be able to obsess about them, but it will give you a different style of book to read. I rather liked the jenny patrick books and she has a new one out.. since you read quickly they will only be a short read for you, but a break from the vampires could be refreshing.

Thanks wowinnz, I think my main worry is being teased by my husband, which I just don't need at the moment.

I have tried to explain to him that as far as I am concerned it is another tool I use to keep calm, but he just doesn't get it. I've taken to sneaking around when I want to read so that he doesn't see me, hiding the books etc - a bit like sneaking drinks when you have a drinking problem, but a lot healthier on my body/mind I imagine! Just annoys me immensely that he can't accept it.

Yes, it does bother me a little, but as I say, I figure that its a 'healthy' addiction compared to what I might chose as an alternative. I just hate being teased...and its so topical at the moment that whenever anything comes on TV etc about the movies/books I get a double helping of hassling

I have been reading a few other books in between, but I just keep going back to the 'old faithfuls'.

I take it you've bought / watched the movies too..my son read them all and loved them. Thankfully he got most of them through his school library, but I have no wish to read about vampires.. creeps me out..each to their own.

Does coming on here 10 - 20 times a day when I'm supposed to be working count as obsessive? and no I dont tell anyone either.... lol


Sounds like its the teasing you dont like, rather than the reading. Could youask him not to do it?

LOL yes, and definitely I do NOT watch them when husband is around!

Yes, the ribbing from him (and a couple of friends) about it is what is annoying me. I know my brain won't turn to mush, my work takes care of that challenging part of things!

One friend coined a good phrase for it - 'comfort reading', like comfort food

I don't know how many times I have explained to him about the things I do to manage my moods and why I need them...it stops him for a while, then he can't help himself. Its not nasty teasing, but I get pretty sensitive about it...

It is escapeism. I have something simliar but my guilty secret is Dawsons Creek (not so secret now). I can relate to some of the characters and what they are going through and for an hour or so the rest of the world doesn't exisit.

The other thing I use to use for escapeism is study. If I was busy doing study I didn't have to deal with "real life" issues.

I have not read the twlight series but it has been reccommended to me, I dont know though.

hiya lowy hun...long time no chat!!

I find a well written 'fantasy' book is a bit of a godsend when I am in a really morbid headspace. So nice to be able to loose myself in another reality.

Grr at your hubby for teasing you about the twilight books.

I read a series a number of years ago that were amazing...and they are 'adult' books. So if you are thinking about trying out some different comfort books I would like to suggest " The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant" there are (from memory) six books in the series.

be kind to yourself hun,
britey

Crikey, britelite, yes, have read the Thomas Covenant books many years ago, not my idea of light reading had to have a dictionary at hand at all times LOL! But yes general escapism.

I also have the whole set of the Terry Pratchett Diskworld books (26+ of them???) that I use as repetitive 'comfort reading'

HHHHmmmmm Team Jacob? ahhh no maybe team edward.....Love the books too and I am forty and my friend is obsessed...she has seen the movie about one godzillion times... I wasnt interested in vampires(still not) but love these books just beautiful and yes comfort reading!