a couple of poems

OLD FAMILIAR FEELING.


This old familiar feeling, washes back to shore,
I just can’t stop it happening, I feel there is no cure.

Standing on the shoreline, watching life sail by,
I want to paddle out to sea and wave this life goodbye.

I see you standing near me, you speak, I cannot hear,
I feel im in a sea fog, your words they are not clear.

You wrap your thoughts around me, as if to stem the tide,
Yet you do not see me struggling, though your eyes are open wide.

I scream out loud in silence, and my screams they go unheard,
You walk away down sandy shores, as if ive spoken not a word.

I feel alone at sunset, as the sun it meets the sea,
I watch the wave’s crash on the shore and wish they’d crash on me.

I wrote this poem during my first breakdown, around 2000.


The crying cage.

This cage I built has held me long
And bars of steel seem way to strong.
Bars icy cold, yet filled with hot rage,
I need to escape from the crying cage.

It draws me in and locks me down
And then wells up; I start to drown.
There’s no escape, no valve for flow
I can’t release and just let go.

I built this cage of my design,
Throughout the years, now im resigned.
To yell and scream when trapped inside
In chains so cold my thoughts subside.

I need to break these chains of steel
And learn again to cry and feel.
To open up and not feel weak
And feel ok to let tears speak.

I want to feel and learn from age,
To NEVER seek the crying cage.

April 2004.

I wrote this poem because I went through a real stage where I physically couldn’t cry, no matter how upset/emotional/sad I was. I knew it wasn’t healthy for me so I had to learn how to cry again.



Comfort in darkness.

She sits in the shadows of the eves dying light,
And sighs with relief as the day turns to night.

She feels darkness close round her like a glove fits a hand,
She’s getting colder now but she doesn’t get up to stand.

She sits in the comfort of the darkness of night,
She’s shivering now; it’s so cold but she’s learnt not to fight.

Cos the girl lives with darkness, her eyes are a shadow,
A reflection of what’s within, and she knows it wont go... away.

The darkness used to swallow her, made her feel like she would drown,
But she’s finally at peace with it and just let’s her thoughts abound.

Cos she knows there’s no use fighting, the shadows in her head,
So she wraps herself in darkness, and fades away instead.

This poem was written about the time i had my second breakdown - 2004, i could feel it coming but didnt know how to stop it. When i was depressed i preferred to sit in a dark room and even used to shower in the dark.

This is the first public place i have shown these poems. Its the first place i have felt comfortable and safe enough to do so. I hope you find them ok.

1teaspoon.

Hi 1teaspoon and welcome

Thankyou so much for sharing the poems and some of your story with us in the other thread. Its great to have you here.

Monsta