Pissed off

So had another appointment with the psychiatrist today, only second one with him since being in NP. I actually thought that maybe we were gonna get somewhere when I went to the GP here after 3 weeks and she said 'I think you might have bi-polar', and talked about sequeral. Well the only change that has happened so far is that the mirtazapine has been increased by 15mgs which helps me sleep a bit better and made me gain another 3kgs. Can people not see that I am on the verge of giving up?? While I am kinda 'stable' at the moment and looking forward to going back to work and back to Cambridge, I still feel damn miserable and how long till I am knocked off the path I'm on.

Hi LC
I have had so many weight fluctuations with my meds, i have a wadrobe full of "when i get skinny clothes"
Tui ad ha.
The recovery remember is each day or hour at a time. Baby steps.
I sense that you are scared and thats really normal.
Its a stressful time not being at home and that would unsettle anyone even if they were normal.
Isnt there some lovely beaches where you can go and walk/ yell at the wind throw stoes etc in the naki?

To be honest I'm not too worried about the weight, ok yea sure that one medication has made me gain 8kgs, yea I'm classed as overweight for my height, but its not gonna change, I enjoy my sweet foods to much to get them out or reduce them in my diet. I go back to Cambridge on Monday.

What's annoying is the fact that NOTHING is happening except for the fact that I've been told I possibly have bi-polar. It's like they are thinking 'well this person has already suffered 10 years with depression and no relief from it, what's another 10 years to her?' So that maybe by the time I'm in my 30's and wasted 20 odd years on this and not getting anywhere??

All the psychiatrist could care about today was the fact that he's going back to his home in Ohio next week. Doesn't matter that he's got a patient sitting there in front of him nearly in tears saying how she's been thinking of suicide. No, it's just, 'I'll give you another script for your medication, and stick to what your on'. Obviously that's not working. No wonder so many people are successful in suicide.

Yuck LC, that's not cool. He shouldn't have been so unprofessional.

Hi LC

I feel he is not the one for you...find some one else you need someone you can trust...big hugs(0)

Hopefully being transferred back up to Hamilton MH Outpatients again. But then the woman I was seeing up there before I came down here I didn't like her and she didn't seem to listen either. Insisting that one of the meds I am on (Venlafaxine) is the best one out, despite me telling her I feel it isn't working.

Oh Lc that is horrible, I understand about the you may have bipolar it took then 2 years to come up with it for me and that was only when i went on a hypomania rage. You need to get support do you have a key worker that listens to you at all and can maybe stand up for you when you are in with the doc.

Or even a good friend. Hugs to you that is bad when you are sitting there telling him you want to die and he gives you another script.

I'm here if you need to talk or rant take care hun

No don't have a support worker, and who knows how long it will take to get back into the MH services in Hamilton. Luckily up in Cambridge I have a lot of good friends, they are the ones keeping me going at the moment. I kinda feel that if the psychiatrists don't care what I do, then why should I?? So it's my friends keeping me going at the moment. My health no longer gets discussed with my parents, coz they don't get it.

logical-cents wrote:No don't have a support worker, and who knows how long it will take to get back into the MH services in Hamilton. Luckily up in Cambridge I have a lot of good friends, they are the ones keeping me going at the moment. I kinda feel that if the psychiatrists don't care what I do, then why should I?? So it's my friends keeping me going at the moment. My health no longer gets discussed with my parents, coz they don't get it.

I think it had alot to do with the generation...it was always hidden or you were told to pull yourself together...I never discuss it with any family only my chosen"family"

Hey LC. Is it worth staying in Cambridge in order to be with your firends?

Anita, my life is in Cambridge, my job's there, my friends are there, I have support there. Yea sure my parents and siblings are in NP and I could pick up a job easily enough. But I don't have any support in NP and don't really wish to be here. Makes me feel homesick for Cambridge.

Oh whoops - I had you backwards. Sorry dude.

Well then, if you can't be where you're homesick for then you can be here, with all the other people who wish they were somewhere/someone else