How do you cope?

I need some help - I just dont know how to feel positive anymore. My b/f has watched the ads for depression and doesnt understand why Im not getting better! He offers me positive encouragement and says I dont listen to him - but I do .... I have few friends and dont want to off load my adult kids.
Can someone please tell me how you get up, how do you stop letting things get you down. I would really appreciate peoples advice or even suggestions.
I dont make friends easily but manage to carry out my work fairly well, although to be honest I do find that when things get stressful at work I start to feel worse about myself and my abilities. I feel a fraud to myself .... I find it hard to tell people how Im feeling and I also feel ashamed that I am not the person I used to be. My thoughts seem to be getting darker too.
I want to feel happy again but the days when I am happy seem to be coming less and less these days. I know there is no quick fix but I dont know how to handle the way I feel.
I dont know who else to talk to - seems my computer is my friend these days.

Just coz your not getting better doesn't mean your hopeless is_it_me. I have been written off by best friends, immediate family, and even the professionals - I haven't even had a 'S.O' for years. I have been through hospital (the mental kind) a dozen or more times. I still keep going. Don't give up.
I will pm you is_it_me coz I care about how you are feeling - having dwelt in this place for so long myself.
love
- Vaden

.... but I can't seem to find any option to pm you ......

Thanks Vaden - sometimes its nice to know Im not the only one who isnt making a rapid recovery!. But how do you cope without the support of family and friends? How do you cope with the feelings of isolation?

Hi have you seen dr and are you on meds ? it wasn`t till I got increase 2 tabs a day that I really noticed a big difference !. Support groups really help as they have or are in the same place as you . If you can get through a suport group a buddy as support person this helps ! also counselling as a couple helps both of you to understand whats happening . But remember you are not alone !! we here understand an nothing is silly or stupid !! please keep in touch on how its going or for advice or a place to vent frustrations . No matter age , disabilities or anything we are all very special and cared about ! together we are strong !

Hi again please check my posts an my partner Gabriells posts for more advice on things to help in our old posts !

Like my darling Westdude said, it wasn't until a slight increase in meds that he had more relief from his depression.

I would like to add that if you have been on the same meds for more than 6 to 8 wks it does pay to have your meds reviewed to see if you are on the correct dose or if another antidepressant may be more suitable.

You will have days when it may feel like you are weighed down by concrete. The key is not to let a bad morning become a bad day. Make list of simple things you can accomplish about self care. Some way to treat yourself. Make a emergency self-care comfort box. Put in candles, incense bubble bath, favourite pictures, poems, relaxation music, chocolate, nail polish whatever is going to get you through the moment.

Sometimes living with depression it is best not to think about how you will be tomorrow, next week, next month or years from now because none of that it is certain. Live in the moment. When you learn to live in the moment your gradually learn to live thru the day. A good day can become two or three good days, eventually it becomes a good week and builds from there.

There is life line and Supporting for Families that have 0800 numbers that you can access plus you have a network of friends here who either experiencing life the same way as you or who have walked in those shoes hundreds of times before and have come out the other side who care. You are genuinely not alone.

Thanks for your posts guys - I am trying to deal with one day at a time but my b/f has a different propective on life to me, everything is planned, without a goal you dont get anywhere in life! - Anyhow to add to everything else that is rattling round in my tiny head he has decided that he wants out. He has never been interested in attending counselling and I no longer go as I didnt find it helpful.
I have revisited my Dr but he says Im to stay on the same dose and drug as Im on (Been on it for 9 months now) and have told him on more than one occassion that I dont feel any better, but have had lots of side effects, upset stomachs, nausea, headaches, weight gain, sore joints, etc., I saw a naturopath yesterday who has said that maybe I should try some natural alternatives - so they are weaning me off the meds im on to start on something else.
I woke up this morning to a beautiful day and all I felt was anger - please tell me this is part of depression!

Yes an you do have better days ! . You can always get a second opinion from another Dr as 9 months is long an not all drs are always the right one cause not everyone understands . Phone up local Citizen Advice for your local support group an see what dr they have found helpful ! keep in touch

natural alternatives arn't always better - only in some peoples opinions imo. If it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't - no one really knows until you try it - not saying you should try everything. I do agree that if the doctor is not helping you then find a better one. I have been to many many doctors and mental health professionals and can say the helpful ones are few and far between.

"How do you cope with the feelings of isolation?"

You asked this earlier in the thread.. this is a real trigger for me.. when I feel isolated i start spinning and if I cant stop it everything gets really bad.Work ,Home, self esteem...

I dont think I cope with it all that well because what I do is withdraw.. back out of activities and stay away from people.. the ONLY thing that has helped me so far is being able to talk to my partner when I realise it is starting. . He can usually tell before I can and when he asks me if I'm alright I stop and take a look at myself as if from outside me and check how I'm feeling. if I dont feel ok I tell him. He doesn't have any answers but he doesn't hold my moods against me anymore. I will sometimes leave a room if I thnk I'm going to burst into tears infront of colleagues. that has taken a bit of explaining let me tell you..

Wehn I can I get a book out and read.. it doesn't make me any less isolated but it takes my mind off the negative spiralling thoughts, and by the time I've got sick of reading I've stopped worrying quite so much.

hang in there ...

Hey is_it_me. I just wanted to say THANKYOU for your post. I just found this website today and when I read your Post it read like my life! Anger is definately a part of depression, as is this extreme feeling of shame, sadness and hopelessness, I used to be this outgoing, enthusiastic person,but these last few years this incredible darkness has crept over me and I felt like no-one understood, until I read your post. I know exactly how you are feeling, everyday is struggle! I have been on somany different medications and I still feel lost. I dont know how to get out of this hole but I'm hoping since I've found this site that with keeping in contact with people feeling the same we can help each other find some way to work our way up! Please keep your head up and keep talking. Coz I'm listening and I think we can help each other!!!

Well done is_it_me for making your own decision on medication.I was put on a antidepresant november of last year and it made me more anxious I was having panic attacks I also started shaking uncontrollably all down one side of me.I decided with the help of the pshyc docter this drug wasnt for me.I was put on seroquel and weaned of the anti D with the veiw to trying a different one.Weaning of was terrible and vowed then and there I wouldnt go back on even if it was a different variety.Thats been 2 months ago and while I am still on seroquel I have more energy and generaly I feel alot better.

I think lonleness and self worth go hand in hand in that when I am not feeling ok with myself I get myself into thinking no one cares/likes me.This in actual terms is bullshit its just my head telling me things that arent true.To get out of this I actualy make a point of heading out to be with others.I also find reading and mediatating good for calming me down.

Take care and yup I agree with another poster on here in that if that is the side effects you are having while being on the drug then that drug is not working for you and hey get a second opoinion but please dont go of them cold turkey..its not good for you.

Take care
kathleen

I weaned off Citalopram over a period of time and after talking with a Pharmacist - the natural pills seem to be helping me - so I will stick with it.
Im working through feelings I have never had before but i think its all part of the healing process.