i'm back

its been a real hard week, pushing boundries in all directions. yesterday was a whole-day panic attack - so horrible. today i started drinking at about 10am, and i can't seem to stop. i want or need to hurt myself and i'm trying so hard to resist. i know i sound crazy, i'm sorry.

hi i hope you dont hurt yourself, have you tried calling lifeline etc? know easier said than done hugs

lifeline's busy. cutting makes me feel like i'm really here. i' love the pic of the unicorns btw

thank you,can understand how that feels. dont have to answer but is it the pain of cutting or the seeing of the blood the helps you feel as tho you really here? there is also warmline have you tried them? the people who are on the phones there have all had some sort of MH issue themselves so have some understanding - there number is 0800 200 207

its the pain that helps, sometimes i can make do with horror movies. but not now. thanx for the ph number, i can't call now, but i have it now so maybe later. sadly, drinking acts like an anaesthetic, so i can't feel the pain as well as i'd like either. thank the gods this week is nearly over

k do u have any ice cubes? holding those in ya hands causes pain for most people but doesnt do any lasting damage, also flicking a rubber band on ya wrist can have same effect without the damage. i hope tomorow is a better day for you

Hey onlyme,

Hope you are ok today.

I can understand about the cutting cos thats what I have a bad habit of doing but am slowly beating it now (for the second time after a major bump in the road). I am also an ODer.

Drinking can also be classified as a form of self harm and I also have a bit of weekness to turn to the booze. It helps to take the edge of things in the short term but in the long term they are still there and have to be dealt with.

I dont know if you are like me but find it hard to talk to a stranger on the end of a phone about whats going on.

I hope you managed to remain safe and know we are here if you need us.

i managed to put the bottle down last night, and didn't do much damage to myself either. i'm feeling ok today, actually looking forward to seeing my counsellor. i don't like talking to strangers on the phone, giving away too much of myself doesn't feel safe or right, but i tried to last night.

i have plans for today so i should be ok

hi only me,

good to hear your keeping busy today.

im not a cutter im a scratcher/picker (old sores) and nail biter so keeping busy is definately the way to go for me too.

glad you came back to post today, have a good day and let us know how you today!