Im new here .. anxiety, depression, no motivation ...

I am currently going through a bad patch, i have been on meds awhile back but came off them as i got alot better. I am going downhill again, i have lost alot of friends as i moved away from my hometown. I dont seem to go out as much, spend alot of time on my own and have seem to lost my ability to socialise and my personality has vanished. i feel i am so boring now i have lost all confidence and get very anxious about this.
I am seeing this guy off and on and i am now becoming paraniod about him not keeping in contact with me all of the time. I am so insecure and i dont know how i got to be like this, i never used to be like this and its driving me mad. I know inside i need to stop this but its so so hard. i get really down and dont usually tell anyone either, i tend to keep it inside ans shut everyone out! I amt hinking about seeing the doctor again as its just getting worse and worse and i am shutting myslef away from the world way too much!
I dont know what i want from this site but if letting it out helps i am all for it

Hi star00

You need to go back and see your doctor. We all seem to have our ups and down and if the meds help then if it was me I would be back on them in a flash. Ask your doctor if he can refer you to a good counselor to. You need to find out what is going on, the meds only make things easier but if there is a problem you need to deal with you need the extra help

I think that is the best way to go, i was on citalapram last time, but that was awhile ago and the anxiety is much much worse now so hopefully i will get something to help that. I am starting to think i have a slight social phobia (i can answer the phone at work ok, but if i have to make a call it takes while, that sort of thing) and going out anywhere makes me nervous like never before. anyone else experience this?

Yeah, I hate crowds or unfimilar places or being at a function or social event with prople I don't know. Makes me very anxious.Mind you I was a brave person and went to a post-grad function a few weeks ago where I was a total stranger and had some real good conversations once I got over my anxiety.

Thats good to hear, i hate going to places by myself and have now come to rely on a close family member to be not only my friend but my chaperone. I am trying to be brave tho, the phone is getting easier and have tried to accept as many social invites as i can. good to know others are going thru the same.

hey - I'm new here too and your post rings lots of bells! - even how hard it is making a phone call.. and I second how great it is to find others in the same boat!
I'm delighted to have found this forum (thanks to Paddy's thread on TradeMe - cheers!!) looks to have amazing support - whew!!

Yeah thank you very much Paddy, i would love to say i am getting better but most of the time even i think i am going crazy!

Work is getting harder, i get anxious and just want to smash the phone up (i am on reception.......worst place to be!)

So much of what you wrote could have come from me - cept the boyfriend bit. Please, make and appointment tomorrow morning with your GP and when you're on the 'phone (and you will be) - ask to have a chat with the Practice Nurse and let her know how things are. That may hasten the doctors appointment along.

Even the famous, invincable, bombproof Paddy is seeing his GP tomorrow cos there's stuff going on that I know I need help with. Thats going to be a fun appointment, lol. I've waited nearly a month for it so I'll be getting my monies worth.

Take care, ok. And I'm delighted you've found this site to be of some use to you.

Thanks Paddy. I havent been to the doc yet but will be next week. I have told the guy that we need to end all things as im not strong enough to be so on and off again but we are still close as he is much the same but the timing is terrible.

I worry the most about my personality, i have so much trouble talking to people now that i have lost friends, and have become quite the loner which is a big change as i never used to be that way. Its very hard but great that i have found somewhere to let it all out on!!

It is bloody hard, isn't it?

I've pushed away more people who wanted to be, or who were, friends, than I care to think about.

And I'm really glad you have found us and feel confident and able to share stuff - thats a big tick in the 'Things I've Acheived' box.

Take care,
Pat.

Yes it is hard, and i tend to keep it all inside and not tell anyone about how i am feeling.
I just see myself as so dull now, its hard for me to even hold a conversation... i have no hope!! Hopefully this will improve once i get some help.

Thanks for your advice

hugs star!!!!!!!!!!

Star,
I'd say you have lots of hope. You might not see it yourself, but I'd say you are doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Sit back and watch yourself for a moment. You're engaging with people here - sure, its not face to face, but its a damn sight more positive than no contact with people at all.

Don't be so hard on yourself, mate. Thats my role, reserved soley for me and I'm selfish - I'm not sharing that right with anyone else today.

Star, do try and be kind to yourself. I too am rebuilding friendships (and creating new ones) as I tend to isolate myself as well. Take care.

Hi Star (and everyone else too! ). I just thought I'd check in to say hi and see how you are doing. I'm still faking it til I make it and getting out and about - nothing too challenging yet! Copious amount of rescue remedy is helping too.

Thank you all so much, i havent been here for a few days and to see your posts made me smile.

I just seem to make excuses whenever somebody asks me to do something, i dont know why but it gets me flustered to think about having to make conversation and actually go out and be with people one on one.

I am off to the doctor soon so hopefully she will help a bit, and maybe get bck on some meds. i have bought some specialised rescue remedy off trade me and it is really good.

hugs everyone...been really slack lately, too much other stuff on. currently, i think i'm doing ok, but hubby has different opinion! off to doc's in 2 weeks to see if there are any 'new' meds he can try on me

Evening Star and Shadow. Good luck with the Doc/meds. I'm a rescue remedy fan too (posted in the other thread star - I'd be keen to hear about your trade me remedy). Sleep is the best medicine for me. Good sleep that is - you can tell I'm stressing about the insomnia can't you Thought I'd gently get back into yoga - that seems to energise me as well as helping with sleep. Why is it that I know what is good for me but don't seem to do it????? Sweet dreams

Hey,

Quite often we sabotage ourselves or put others before ourselves. I know I am really good at doing that.

Good sleep - can someone please tell me what that is?

Am going to try tai chi or yoga soon at my psychologists suggestion, just something to calm and centre myself.

Must make a note to get some more rescue remedy too.

Thanks guys,

I am off to see a doctor tomorrow. had to change doctor as i have moved recently and am finding it hard to make the trip to the old one so will see how she goes lol.

Roswell, see my post in the non-prescription alternatives thread thing about resue remedy....

I am feeling a bit better but still anxious and have a really bad tendancy to make up excuses as to why i can do things with people. i have to learn to just say yes!!!

Hope your all well anyway i have the whole day off tomorrow so will be good to have a week break.

*why i can't do things that should read...

Hi Star..

I can so relate to what you've written.. I was once an outgoing positive people-person - I loved seeing people, worked for a large organisation.. had an active social life, old time dancing 3-4 nights a week, lots of time with friends.. and can't even remember when I last felt like that.. at least almost 9 years since my health problems kicked in and over 8 years since I was put off work by my GP - I haven't worked since.

Life today is very different.. I avoid people, even shopping at places I'm less likely to see anyone I know, shopping at night, my social life is nil, I communicate mainly via computer and email.. keep curtains closed so people think I'm sleeping - which most of the day is true, go into town only when I have to.. etc..etc..etc.. A far different me from the me I used to be..