Made me laugh..

Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a
remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on
"insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear
helmets?

Why
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in
the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they
"slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved
parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero
outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things on the
ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes
out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high
that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would
eat?

Why is there a light in the
fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do
people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their
bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs !


If quizzes are
quizzical, what are tests?


If corn oil is made
from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made
from?

If electricity comes from
electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read
on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you
blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button
more than once make it arrive faster?

good distraction

Now i forgot what i was meant to be looking up.

lol, Thanks Haley good to get a chuckle