Re: The New Depression Thread.

[*~*Beej*~*]

beej I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going too well for you at the moment. Is there someone that could perhaps take the dog for a couple of hours a day and give her some exercise etc that she needs? Even if it's a few times a week. I'd offer to help if I was a lot closer. Music's idea of the tennis-ball slinger isn't bad either, mum used to use a tennis racket and hit the tennis ball across a field for Meg (Jack Russell) to run after.

oh thanks so much for your support LC

I cant let her go out with anyone but me as she is dog aggressive, learning not to now, but still no body else can manage her ~ yet!!

shes only knee high to a grasshopper but her breed is such that she is stubborn dog, I knew all this when I brought her home, I just hadn't factored into the equation how ex kennel dogs behave and also that she is/was such a bitch of a dog.

and its just that now that I'm seeing what I can and cant do and am trying to regulate my time and energy levels I see that she is taking a heap out of me that I could be putting into my housework ( & a clean and tidy house does matter to me) and at the moment I dont have one because I dont have the energy because I am training her at this exact moment a bullet would be good. and unfortuneately I could do that, ( no I couldn't) but this morning I could have.

thanks so much for being there.

[logical-cents]

Beej, wish I could reply properly to your above post, unfortunately am battling a fairly bad headache at the moment so can't focus eyes too much, hopefully should be right tomorrow. In the mean time, take care and take it easy.

[logical-cents]

Beej - can you get any assistance through WINZ for help with a housekeeper (think need a note from Dr and it goes onto disability allowance)? Even once a week to do things like bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting. I know though that doing that could bring stress on in another form by having a stranger come into your home.

Take care

[logical-cents]

I wish I had an answer as to what is wrong with me. The past 4 days I've woken with a headache and gone to bed with a headache (headache has lasted all day), this is despite taking things for it. Legs and arms have also been sore, thankfully not my back too much. I'm not sure whether the headaches are 'just because' or whether they are caused by the fact my neck/shoulders are sore. Been feeling bit light-headed too but think that's because of the headaches. And still have this bloody cold/cough thing.

Have my green belt grading test in 2 weeks, sitting it in Hamilton this time so I can grade with a couple of other students that are the same or similar grades instead of doing it on my own. Have organised a ride down there and a place to stay for 2 nights and have booked bus ticket to come back the next day. Hope that I'll make it through the grading, but if I can make it through an hour long senior class then I'm sure I can manage 15-20 mins for grading.

Take care all

[*~*Beej*~*]

I wish I had an answer as to what is wrong with me. The past 4 days I've woken with a headache and gone to bed with a headache (headache has lasted all day), this is despite taking things for it. Legs and arms have also been sore, thankfully not my back too much. I'm not sure whether the headaches are 'just because' or whether they are caused by the fact my neck/shoulders are sore. Been feeling bit light-headed too but think that's because of the headaches. And still have this bloody cold/cough thing.

Have my green belt grading test in 2 weeks, sitting it in Hamilton this time so I can grade with a couple of other students that are the same or similar grades instead of doing it on my own. Have organised a ride down there and a place to stay for 2 nights and have booked bus ticket to come back the next day. Hope that I'll make it through the grading, but if I can make it through an hour long senior class then I'm sure I can manage 15-20 mins for grading.

Take care all

Hey LC

how are you feeling today?
I really do wonder if you have fibro, maybe you could get a referral to a rheumy for a proper diagnosis & if you can get that diagnosis (or not) then maybe you can find a way or answer to manage it & also maybe you'd be able to get on the invalids benefit (which I understand is long term but also more money than the sickness benefit)

Thanks so much for the thoughts with regards to getting home help, I might go down that avenue, I do find having a grubby house hard, (altho I do try and keep the housework up) but I do also get peeved because I have a husband who is capable of doing it & two sons and they just wont!! some days I just get really peeved with it. The husband doesn't seem to be bothered if the toilet isn't clean or the kitchen floor isn't cleaned.

The most hes ever done in way of housework is IF he thinks I am unhappy enough to leave him, then he'll pull his finger out. Last year is the first time I have ever gone away by myself, and my coming back wasn't confirmed, I came back and found that in my absence the house had been cleaned and the lounge repainted.
This holiday our marriage wasn't so much on the rocks, but I still came home to a clean house, and those are the TWO times I can remember him helping in the house, he is a student but is only doing 2 subjects a semester and works one day a week, so its not like he doesn't have the time, he just doesn't care enough.

Take today the lounge floor hasn't been vacced for about 10 days ( we have two dogs and a hairy cat) it was truly disgusting, he watched me vacuum but didn't do it for me (& when I had problems turning the vaccie on he helped to turn it on BUT didn't offer to help) & wasn't happy when I asked him to move the furniture for me.

I'm so used to his attitude/lazyness that it just doesn't bother me, but thats why I feel "naughty" asking for home help when my family just wont help around the house. Oh and I did also ask him to take the vaccie and to the cobwebs (we have a really high roof) and he wasn't impressed at all. I kinda feel that if I get home help in that he will then feel justified about not helping. Do you know what I mean.

Whats your thoughts? I'm angry or upset I'm resigned to it, am still not 100% certain tho that I will stay in this marriage, he always promises to help, but they are empty.

gosh I certainly hadn't expected to write all of that. Maybe I am a bit peeved?

[logical-cents]

Hey LC

how are you feeling today?
I really do wonder if you have fibro, maybe you could get a referral to a rheumy for a proper diagnosis & if you can get that diagnosis (or not) then maybe you can find a way or answer to manage it & also maybe you'd be able to get on the invalids benefit (which I understand is long term but also more money than the sickness benefit)

Thanks so much for the thoughts with regards to getting home help, I might go down that avenue, I do find having a grubby house hard, (altho I do try and keep the housework up) but I do also get peeved because I have a husband who is capable of doing it & two sons and they just wont!! some days I just get really peeved with it. The husband doesn't seem to be bothered if the toilet isn't clean or the kitchen floor isn't cleaned.

The most hes ever done in way of housework is IF he thinks I am unhappy enough to leave him, then he'll pull his finger out. Last year is the first time I have ever gone away by myself, and my coming back wasn't confirmed, I came back and found that in my absence the house had been cleaned and the lounge repainted.
This holiday our marriage wasn't so much on the rocks, but I still came home to a clean house, and those are the TWO times I can remember him helping in the house, he is a student but is only doing 2 subjects a semester and works one day a week, so its not like he doesn't have the time, he just doesn't care enough.

Take today the lounge floor hasn't been vacced for about 10 days ( we have two dogs and a hairy cat) it was truly disgusting, he watched me vacuum but didn't do it for me (& when I had problems turning the vaccie on he helped to turn it on BUT didn't offer to help) & wasn't happy when I asked him to move the furniture for me.

I'm so used to his attitude/lazyness that it just doesn't bother me, but thats why I feel "naughty" asking for home help when my family just wont help around the house. Oh and I did also ask him to take the vaccie and to the cobwebs (we have a really high roof) and he wasn't impressed at all. I kinda feel that if I get home help in that he will then feel justified about not helping. Do you know what I mean.

Whats your thoughts? I'm angry or upset I'm resigned to it, am still not 100% certain tho that I will stay in this marriage, he always promises to help, but they are empty.

gosh I certainly hadn't expected to write all of that. Maybe I am a bit peeved?

Am not feeling well at the present, my jaw/teeth are sore and pain has spread into my ear, up to the top of my head and down into my neck. Have taken painkillers and they are not working. So I am sitting here to let D sleep without me disturbing him. Am fighting tears because of the pain.

I am scared about bringing up fibro to the Dr and being told that yes that's what I have. I too wonder if this plays a part in it, but am worried that D won't stick around if I got diagnosed with it. Have mentioned to him a while ago coz he saw me reading up about it on the internet, and he didn't seem to impressed with the idea.

I get what you mean about the housework, some days I feel like I'm the only one in this house that knows how to clean up. We had a house inspection a couple of weeks ago and I was the only one who cleaned the house, no one else bothered to help. Also often I can set the dishwasher going coz it's full, and it can then sit there for hours with no one bothering to unload it, they open it, see it's clean and then place their dirty dishes in the sink and walk away.

Regards to the home help and your hubby then feeling justified about not helping, that could turn out to be the case, but you've got to consider yourself too, if it's going to help you then maybe look into it. I could be wrong here, but maybe currently you have the stress of trying to do the housework, plus the stress that none of the family help around the house, by getting in a house keeper it might help reduce some of that stress on you? Guys seem to have a different attitude to house work, D want's a clean house but doesn't want to do the work.

[MusicOnMyMind]

Nothing to add, but huge hugs to you both. Sounds like y'all are going through hard times, and not having the support of your family just adds to the stress

Logical: What form of martial arts do you do? I used to be involved with a club in Hamilton a while back...

[logical-cents]

The one I do is called Taekidokai, it's a mix of Taekwondo/Karate/Kung Fu types and then in the senior higher grades start learning Aikido as well. It's my partner's business, it's all over most of Australia and he brought it over to NZ about 6-7 years ago, he first opened in Hamilton and sold that last year to open up in Auckland.

[*~*Beej*~*]

Hey LC

I'm sorry that you dont have security in your relationship with D, but is there a possibility that you mis-red his re-action at all? I hope so.

You really deserve much better medical care than you are getting, do you keep notes at all? maybe that would help you.

I dont think that I will go down the route of home help at this stage, I hate having to go into WINZ so I wont push my luck as far as thats concerned. but thank you so very very much for reminding me that I need to look after me first and foremost. I get carried away trying to help everyone else and loose the plot (with regards to me)

I have been quite crook today, apparently the weather can totally screw the body aroung in winter time, so I just need to do as much as I can to keep myself as healthy as possible and then just get on with life.

thanks LC for being there.

I do hope that you start to feel some relief soon.
I do know tho that a2 panadol 4 times a day is a great help for keeping pain levels down and then when they get to high you can "hit" them with something else as well.

[logical-cents]

Hi Beej

D would stick around, he's told me he just wants to see me getting better. I think maybe I need to be a bit more forceful(??) with the doctor. Unfortunately panadol doesn't work for me too well, have been taking Tramadol every 4-6 hours and even that is struggling to knock back the pain at times. I've been reading a bit about sinus infections and wonder if that's what it is at the moment with my jaw/face sore.

Yes you do need to look after yourself first (I also need to take this advice). Sorry to hear that you've been unwell as well. Winter sucks for being cold and getting sick more.

I'm here for whenever you (or anyone here) needs me. Thanks for being there for me too.

[*~*Beej*~*]

Hi Beej

D would stick around, he's told me he just wants to see me getting better. I think maybe I need to be a bit more forceful(??) with the doctor. Unfortunately panadol doesn't work for me too well, have been taking Tramadol every 4-6 hours and even that is struggling to knock back the pain at times. I've been reading a bit about sinus infections and wonder if that's what it is at the moment with my jaw/face sore.

Yes you do need to look after yourself first (I also need to take this advice). Sorry to hear that you've been unwell as well. Winter sucks for being cold and getting sick more.

I'm here for whenever you (or anyone here) needs me. Thanks for being there for me too.

Hey LC

I'm here for you anytime.
I have a sinus thing (I"m prone to sinus infections) and I also (discovered just recently) have a tooth that has its roots wrapped around my sinus system. So IF my sinus' start to play up (gees does it hurt) so what I've started to do is I take hayfever stuff day and night and actively work to keep my sinus' down, I cant stand pain from my face. its the one thing I dont manage at all well.

I find it very hard to be "forceful" with people (fullstop) but what I do do when I'm going to the doctor (or someone who has letters after there name) is I make notes beforehand and I make sure that I get the answers to my notes BEFORE I leave, initially they didn't like it, but I explained that I keep forgetting and its easier for me (I didn't tell them that I felt extremely intimidated by them and everything flew out my head as soon as I walked into their office) and now I think they prefer it as I only want answers to my questions and my drug list topped up (yip you got it I go in there with a list of what drugs and what dosage I want). The thing is I wont leave until I get my questions/concerns answered. I dont know what forceful is, to me I picture angry people, I dont do angry (angry is an emotion that scares me) I am never like that, I normally am quite quiet with my gp (altho now that I feel that I am getting to know her) but make sure that I get what I want AND because I have that note I can remember exactly what I am after.

Hope that that is a help for you.
sorry that you are in so much pain, I take panadol 4 times a day, I couldn't live without it, and then on the "bad days" I dose up with the "other stuff" . I used to think that the panadol didn't work and wondered why I was taking it until I stopped taking it, after about 2 days off of it, I KNEW for definite that it did make a HUGE difference. but I guess not for everyone.

right I have been sitting at the computer for hours need to move but am nice and warm and comfy, think tho that I will turn my leccie blankie on and heat up me bed and have a snooze. (hardly got no sleep last night)

spot ya later.

oh yeah apparently clove oil rubbed on your gums is really good for toothache & apparently you can get it from the chemist or health shops. I know that cloves is good, so it makes sense that this would be too.

[*~*Beej*~*]

Hey where is everyone??

man I could do with a friend tonight
I dont know whats wrong (For sure)
I "think" its stress hitting me as we have a house inspection coming up on Monday and the woman is a right royal bitch & apparently altho I have permission to keep a dog on the property apparently as we have changed the dog I may be told to get rid of it ~ sooo NOT ok.


that and I miss my very good friend who has had a few hassles in the last while and hasn't wanted to know me (& I know it wasn't /isn't personal but its really hurt me)

[logical-cents]

Hey where is everyone??

man I could do with a friend tonight
I dont know whats wrong (For sure)
I "think" its stress hitting me as we have a house inspection coming up on Monday and the woman is a right royal bitch & apparently altho I have permission to keep a dog on the property apparently as we have changed the dog I may be told to get rid of it ~ sooo NOT ok.


that and I miss my very good friend who has had a few hassles in the last while and hasn't wanted to know me (& I know it wasn't /isn't personal but its really hurt me)

Hi Beej,

Sorry to hear that you aren't doing too well at the moment, my fingers are crossed for you that you will be able to keep your dog. Would really suck if she made you get rid of her even though you have permission for a dog.

Take care, and good luck for Monday.

[logical-cents]

I know I haven't been around much lately, I've been reading and keeping up with everyone, just not posting, sorry. I am however slowly starting to feel better and thinking that I am starting to finally get over what ever sickness I have had these last 3 months or so. Although in saying that I did wake this morning feeling all blocked up and have a bit of a tickle in my throat, but still feeling better than most other days.

Just in time to as I have my grading test in Hamilton on Monday night, so fingers are crossed that I will be able to get through that without too much trouble, as the past few weeks in class when we've had practice gradings or just practising our moves I've gotten all hot/sweaty and dizzy, but I've pushed myself through all that and the only thing that will stop me on Monday is if I collapse in a heap on the floor halfway through the test or something lol. I'm not fully looking forward to moving onto the next belt level as it means I'm gonna have to do more sparring and I hate that. Although also in saying that I don't know how much training I'll get in coz we'll only be going to Hamilton once a week from July, and there's no senior classes in Auckland yet coz there's no seniors training, and even if there was they wouldn't be at a level high enough for me to practise sparring.

Take care all.

[Fluffy_Ducks]

I haven't read back through the thread - but i'm joining in to say Hi, and be friendly and aim to participate from here on in

[Paddy]

Hows all You Lot doing this lovely Friday night, eh? Relaxing and be gentle with yourselves, I hope!

Cor blimey. This ‘acting like one is ‘normal’ and having a life’ is exhausting, isn’t it?

I’ve lived in this town for over four years and had until today, only been in three ‘other’ private residences. Today I’ve been in two, one for the first time. I had to remember not to dribble and drool and to look normal. Hard work, trust me.

First off, I walked around to visit me newest adopted nephew, who is nine days old. Took an instant dislike to him, I’m sad to say. The little tyke has more hair than me. My whiskers is more gooda but, which I pointed out to him. Just to teach him Respect. I’d forgotted how small new people are. His big brother, who is two, was just so cool with him – but I think it might take a few more weeks before the wee one remembers all of The Wiggles by names, pffft.

Then, after that visit, I went and visited an 89 year old chap who lives in the property over the fence. I was talking on the street to him earlier in the week and decided that if I could, I’d like to hear more, so I’ve gone outta my comfy zone, introduced myself properly to him and family and have had a wonderful time listening to him late this arvo, at his place. Yeah, just over the fence. Amongst other things, he is a long-retired GP. I was invited back any afternoon I wished to, to take up the conversations again, so that was good.

Knackered now, but.

Tis good to be home and just be plain ole mad me again – I couldn’t do normal every day of the week. Well obviously not Paddy, or ya wouldn’t be on Prozac, wouldya eh?

Have a good safe and enjoyable weekend, all of Ya’s.

Paddy.

[Dolphingurl]

Man i'm sick of these damn cramps. And Paddy dear i know you are male and don't wanna hear it but i hate being a female! lol. I have an IUD and i'm still getting my little friend every month, and for some reason this month it seems to be worse than ever. Also i have gone through 3 med changes in the last few months its not funny. I'm sick of it. I'm now on prozac and have had my reigeme changed over so i don't get sick when i take it. Cause i use to get bad nausea at night when i took it in the mornings, so now i take it at night and take my other tablets such as omeprazol and and epilim and folic acid in the mornings to see what happens. I havn't had an anti nausea tablet in 3 days, i've gone for 2 days without it before and been fine, but when day 3 came along it was hell on earth, i was very sick. So today is day 3 without it and i shall see what happens tonight.

[Fluffy_Ducks]

oh, ouch. i feel your pain!! i have an IUD as well, and the cramping when they first go in (and for the 6 months following for me) is unbearable.

it's quite hard to hold your poise at the checkout when your knees go week and the pain cripples you.

hope you didn't get the nausea!!

[Dolphingurl]

no no nausea but cramps yes. They aren't unbearable but they are painful. Sometimes i just need to take a few painkillers for the pain to go away. But i can't wait for the 6 months to be up so i can get rid of all the cramps. Cause they definately don't make me feel good.

[Fluffy_Ducks]

yay for no nausea.

The cramps are a pain (hur hur) and i think a couple of pain killers to ease it isn't going to harm anyone, so good on you.



today, i'm stuck. i feel quite alone, walking my path in solitude and it's not fun today. there are things between other people that require (in my opinion) resolution. however, that is beyond my control. perhaps my opinion is somehow wrong, and these things do not require resolution, but only that the two people remain far apart from each other?? all well and good until someone like me comes along and wants them to be in the same room, supporting her in equal parts.
thus, today i am stuck.

[Dolphingurl]

I know that feeling. I was a middle man in between someones marriage at one stage. Trying to get them to work things out, but they ended up splitting up and i was in the middle of it. Cause the male of the pair was trying to ruin my marriage. I felt so stuck, and so stressed out. It wasn't doing my head or health any good.

[Fluffy_Ducks]

Well, today I do not need them in the same room, nor will I in the near future so it's not a big deal at the moment. I feel less stuck, but fragile, in that if one says something about the other I'm just gonna get all 'grrrr' about it again lol

to be less cryptic, one is my partner, one is my dad. *sigh* what's a girl to do??

this girl is going to work, and then pick up her kids, and then go home and unpack in her lovely new house!!

[Dolphingurl]

[b]Feeling a little on the down side today. spending day in bed in my pj's. Have to cook tea tonight. Having spag bol.

[Guest]

I have been reading thru your Messages Both on Here & TM & I really think you lot are very Selfish as I dont think The person you are talking about has done anything wrong. I know the member & hes a very kind Caring Helpfull person. You lot are the losers. He posts very helpful Infro & He only gives Good Advice. You lot took it the wrong way. He has helped lots of people in his area too. He does alot of Volunter work & deserves better from you. You lot need to Grow up. You lot Whinge too much about wrong things Some of you arent as bad as you make out. Go 4 a walk & get fresh air into yourself & you might see Life in a different way.

[Admin (Paddy)]

Oddly enough, the individual you allude to has not been spoken of here in weeks, which is how we like it.

Your post contains many written similarities to some of his. Your profile indicates you are Male and the email address which you used to sign up with, is in a females name. Most odd.

Odd enough for me to consider that you are possibly the person you claim to be supporting or, and I think this less likely, someone that individual has asked to post on his behalf.

Either way, I don't believe your membership here will add anything of 'value' to our site, Beachgoer000. Since you don't seem to need TBBD for your own sake, I think I shall simply terminate your membership and let you toddle off to places where your thoughts and ideas might more be welcomed and of use or benefit to yourself and others.

Paddy.
Site Founder, Administrator etc.

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