i want to scream!!!!!!!!!

so the plan was that he, the father of the child, was going to have him tonight and take him to school tomorrow
HE was going to have shared custody with me
HE said he would do this and that he would go to winz and go on the dpb so he could look after our son during the week
the reason for this is because HE lives just down the road from our sons school
a school he needs to keep going to
but HE has decided he just isnt up to the challenge
HE reckons he isnt sure he can take on such a big responsibility!!!!!!!
what the fuck?????
this is his son!!!!!!
i have been caring for our son on my fucking own for the past 5 years, and i have managed!!!!
HE has told me how weak i am because of my depression
and yet HE thinks he is stronger!!!
but he cant look after his son for three days a week???
oh my god i am soooooo fucking angry
i am soooo hurt
my son thinks he is staying with his dad tonight
but he aint
coz his dad has made plans for tomorrow
and his dad dosnt think he can cope blah blah blah
what ever
he is a selfish mean cruel uncaring hurtful man
and i wish to god that i had never had a child with him
i wish ihad never met him
i wish i had never thought that i could belive anything he says
i hate him!!!!

i can relate to that somewhat with my ex, havent seen hide nor hair of him the last few years

be proud that your son has a mum who obviously cares, does her best for him, and despite how bloody hard it is battling your own problems while trying to raise a child, will grit her teeth and do what needs must to care for him. If you've managed 5 years alone you are a stronger or more caring person than him, and you should hold your head high - there's no weakness there

thanku
i feel less angry now
i have just seen him again
and he has calmed down some
and is having my boy tonight
but still isnt sure about the shared care thingy
he reckens he dosnt want to feel tied down!!!
oh my god
i think i will just take the whole idea off the table
and just keep on doing what i have been doing
on my own
there is no point in trying to get blood from a stone.