GOsh its been a while..

well ello there,the last time i osted was when i was with my christian caregivers i then moved to the north shore to a placement that really wasnt very good,they yelled and argued alot and it made me nervous and i would shake as i cant handle loud noise,i refused to cry and didnt for months,i wouldnt reconise the date still thinking i was in feb 09 i had a few insidences of s/h & suicidal things one of the days i stabed a guy-on axident as i was walking down the main road with sarpened sissors and a rope thing around my neck..things turnedd bad long story short cops came thouht i was this other girl that was in her 20's and as i couldnt talk they didnt know untill i was taken to hospital as they thought i had OD'ed they then cut off all my close and sedated me i left later that night after spending over 10 hours there for nothing and was taken home,then had a nurse with me...i ended up leaving my caregivers place and went to mind matters i then spend 4 weeks staying at mind matters and then insted of being with CYF im with a orgnization called life without barriers which have caregivers specificly for mental health children/teens in mid jan im then being moved again to another placement who i have met and they seem nice,in the last few months since the stabbing incident i started using self strangulation as s/h i then mentioned it tomy mhT they then told me that if i did not stop i would be admited to hospital for at leased 6 months underthe meta health act as they didnt knw if i could be trusted and as self strangulation can cause axedental death so i said i would stop and i did but then last night i cut which is something i didnt want to do but i had to listen to him.since being on my meds im not forgeting im human as much but stil have times where i do..but one thing that is freaking me out is at night im hearing this thing..i cant explain it and i cant stop it i get destressed and i hit myself..i dont know what it is or why theres just constant screams of 'OLIVIA' and swearing and all AGH