gah

what is the point of life?
This whole thing is rediculous..!!

I'm never going to change..

hmm the point to life is life itself.

I know you don't want to hear from me qwerky, but I think that is true..

Oh and by the way, cut yourself some slack ok, 'cause the only one you are truely hurtng is you.

i deserve to be treated like shit

You don't have to change, qwerky.

Truely, you don't. You can choose to be as miserable as fuck, for the next 50 years or so and chances are, if thats what you choose, you'll be very successful at it. Doesn't sound like much fun tho, does it?

It really does take an effort to lift yourself out of the hole that you feel you have dropped into, Lizzie. But pretty much anything in this word that is worthwhile, takes some effort. You are worth the effort hon, so make it. Little steps all add up on the journey, so just take some little steps until you find a balance, hon.

But don't beat yourself up, cos its really early days and there are still meds to settle down within your system and maybe some fine tuning and stuff, so yeah, give things a chance mate.

And good on you for using this place to say how you are feeling, Lizzie. Thats a good survival skill all in itself.

You'll get there.

Pat.

their is no point to Life.
Once you realise you are alive,
then maintaining your Flame
is a must.

When i give up and become despondant,
I am a heavy load to others about me,
who work their bestest to culture their live also.

When I am sickest of myself
I attend to those sicker than I
by going into a Rest Home
where ppl send their dying-Family-members
having gotten too-much to handle alone at Home.

I find conversation with those that have lived longer than i
causes my own over-indulging in negative self concern
dissapears; hearing their Stories fires Me Up!
I borrow from their flame
and they get to feel pleased to offer
something back into the world also.

Ppl who are about to Die from having lived so long,
reached their use-bye date so to speak,
have settled in themselves, having lived.
Mostly,they say,
dont fall prey to fueling up with your negatives in Life.
Never dose anything come of the negative but a drowning in sorrow.

Life can be full of dissappointment when we first start out to live it,but as Nature Shows Us,
diversification is the way.Dont put all your eggs
into one basket;start a couple of fires
as one may go out before its time.

i don't have the power within myself to do anything. I'm not on my medication anymore, but am going back to the docs tomorrow to try get back on them. I went off because of my mum..but oh well

OMG- I can't handle my mum! she tells me to expand my horrizons..when on saturday i went and had a massage, and sunday I was a model for a hair dressing competition !!!!! that is expanding....GRRRRR.

Plus I am staying at my bf two nights in a row and she is telling me not to make a habit out of this..when last week i was home pretty much every night.

I can't do it..she makes me so bloody angry- SO ANGRY

I am Trying, but she doesn't see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big hugs to you qwerky...it must be difficult for your mum too,if she doesnt know much about depression,she might know not how to help.
If you think u should be treated like shit,then you WILL be treated like shit.
Stand tall and be proud of who you are...sometimes you just gotta have a little faith i know that easier said done, look in the mirror and tell yourself that your worth it!!!



*sigh* need to stop typing in text language

Ok hun...I have a couple of suggestions which you can do with as you choose.

1st...put aside the anger that you are feeling towards your Mum and try to look at why she is reacting the way she is...and I mean over everything...think back to when you were a child...was she a very protective mother or were you encouraged to 'spread your wings'...did she believe that you were a perfect angel or that you were just as capable as the next kid to be naughty...etc etc...anger can become like an abscess on the soul...and I think maybe if you can get some idea of why your Mum is acting as she is then you will be capable of letting go of the anger.

2nd...have very strong words with yourself to remember that YOU are the only enitity that inhabits your skin...therefore from this moment onwards no-one else is/can/will be allowed to dictate to you what meds/treatments/therapies you use to help with your depression...that decision is between you and your Doc etc.

3rd...take an honest look at your relationship with your bf and your Mum...do you like the way they are at the present time...and if there are points you aren't to happy about then what can you do to improve them...and one thing may be (from what you said above) to sit with you Mum over a coffee and have a woman to woman -not child to mother- talk with her...gently remind her that you are no longer a child and that you are stepping into adulthood...and you would love to do that with her by your side as a Mum/companion not as a Mum/guardian.

as I say these are just my thoughts and take or leave as much or as little as you wish

She thought i was the perfect angel....she thought i was always going to be the perfect angel..

But mum can persuade me to do what ever she wants me to do, beacause she knows how...she is my mum after all.

She will never see me as woman to woman...
But I do understand what you're tring to say, and thanks..it's just hard to stay calm with mum around trying to boss me on what to do, when she deosn't know what is right for me at the moment.

me again hun...hope you don't mind me blabbing away in your vent thread

first can I just say that I am not asking you questions when I put my nose in with suggestions...so please don't feel obliged to answer anything I put here.

I have noticed over the years that parents fall into 2 main categories...the ones who feel that they are raising children and the ones who feel that they are raising the next generation of adults.

Going by what you say of your Mum she falls into the first category...which would explain why she feels she has the right to comment on how many nights you stay at your boyfriends...she is having trouble seeing you as an adult...my husband is like this where as I am out of the second category...my daughter lives at her work which is over an hour from us and she has her first truely serious boyfriend...both things drive my husband nuts if he stops and considers them, hahaha...where as I am very proud of her and am trying to lend a guiding hand to her as she crosses from childhood to adulthood...my daughter has told me that her Dad makes her feel as if she is banging her head against a brick wall with his atitude...and I imagine that you feel this way to...so I will tell you what I told her...when you are talking with your Mum for the next couple of weeks stay very aware of the tone of voice you use, try your damnedest to never use childlike or teenagelike tones...you know the ones I mean, the 'but muuum' and the 'what would you know anyway' sort of tones...remember that you are a young adult so talk like one!!...also become aware of any kid type behaviour you use around the house and how your Mum expects adults to behave, as in dont leave dirty plates/cups sitting around...take your washing to the machine...deal with the junk mail or haul out the vaccy...in otherwords...if you want your Mum to start seeing you as the adult you are becoming start acting like one...I am not saying that you act like a kid just that I have noticed it generally seems to take a concerted effort to get the 'hey I am growing up' message through to some parents...and the young person can way to easily become stuck in their behaviour when that is what is expected of them...hope that all makes sense.

As an exta note...my Mum was of the first type of parent...I moved in with my husband when I was 18...my Mum nearly freaked...but her Mum/my Gran told her to pull her head in and get over herself...as she pointed out by the time she was 18 my Gran was already married and had her first kid on the way.

that could work,

what's the point though..? i'll never be able to keep to it. My emotions will get the better of me and before I know it i'm going nuts...everyone is wasting their time with me, why don't you see that!?

I am just a pathetic little baby..so i might as be treated like one..

*sigh*

Remember - cut yourself some slack please,

*SIGH*

Life is too hard

it will get better, stick with it please

It's not getting any better, it feels like it is getting worse right now

I'm so tired..thank god it's the weekend

This isn't really about you, guest -- hope that's OK.

So, someone vents in this vent chamber, like guest, and everyone rushes in to fix the 'problem'... Is this usually what happens?

If I were to vent I think I'd just want someone to say, "Yeah, it stinks all right," or "Hope you felt better getting that out of your system," or maybe, to crack a joke.

What do others think/feel??

Hiya Balancing Act,

It can be a difficult question to answer. It really depends on the poster and how you think they'd respond to your feedback. Some can handle a joke. Some just like to know that others are listening. I dont think we try to 'fix' the problems, but I guess if we think we have something insightful to offer we might do so.

Paddy feels that its important that if someone in the ventilation chamber asks for nobody to respond, that this be respected, so thats a firm rule around here.

Personally, if I feel compelled to reply to venting in here, its usually just to show some empathy.

In the above example, mylife is giving Guest (who was actually qwerky before she left and came back) some motherly advice. i think she's adopted her hehe.

Thanks for the elucidation, jaffakiwi.
By the way I love your 'cat in the hat'.

Thanks.
Thanks for teaching me a new word

oh now i have another child haha

Yip you sure do mylife! and i'm glad