I've been invited to a wedding

Yesterday I got invited to my birth mothers youngest sisters wedding by her father. I've meet my birth mothers father once a couple of years ago and we got on well. I've always had contact with my birth mother and have been trying to set up a chance to meet her as well, she says she's keen but I guess she's also afraid (maybe??) and we've never really got around to organising a date. Going to this wedding with give me a chance to meet the whole side of that family which I'd love. But at the moment there are so many different emotions going around inside of me. Shock, happiness, nervousness, fear, uncertainty.

My first reaction when I read the e-mail that he sent me was yes, but then I get hit with all these other feelings and start to feel overwhelmed as well. Do I want to go to a wedding where I'm only going to know the bride's father and no-one else? What do I wear? It's 1st August so who knows what the weather will be like. If I go do I still go down to NP for my birthday in a couple of weeks and then go down 2 weeks after that to go to the wedding (more time of work) or do I postpone the days of work for another couple of weeks and just go down at the end of the month? Do I go on my own or ask if I can bring someone, then if they say I can bring someone who do I choose?

Man there are so many questions and emotions running through me, but the main one is excitement, excited that I've been offered this chance, that they think of me and thought to ask me, that I might get to meet my birth mother. So maybe that means I should go? Want to ring mum and discuss it with her, but at the same time I don't want to upset her, we've talked about me meeting them before and she knows I want to. Man I don't know anything at the moment.

Go and have a good time, you will be surprized at how much you will be glad about it!!

Wear dressy casual, did the invite say to bring someone, I would hope that your mum would be understanding but yes it would be tough on her as well.

Talk it over and get it out in the open with her.

He just added it in to the e-mail saying if I want to go let him know and he'll pass the details on to me. I think mum will be understanding, might give her a call tomorrow when kids at school and that.

Oh how exciting. I think that maybe you contact him and explain your excitement of meeting them all, but that you are also nervous and would it be a poblem if you brought a freind. I'm sure they will be fine with that. Then take your bestest freind. Enjoy every minute.

I haven't replied to him yet, I know this might sound strange but I kinda feel like I can't let him know until I've talked to mum, will probably ring her tomorrow, I couldn't ring her today coz I needed today to think about it and consider it.

I know you will ring her tommorrow, let me know how you get on

Mum's fine with it, I think if I don't go I'm gonna regret it, but before I e-mail back saying yes, I think I might e-mail my birth mother and see what she thinks and if she minds, coz maybe she might not be too keen.

I think you would regret it too if you didn't go,..and I am sure that your birth mother would be ok with it,

My thoughts on the matter are that a family event such as a wedding isnt really the time for a reunion of this nataure. There is a lot of pressure and stress on people around such events and also I would see this as taking away a little from the brides day.

Also, you do have to factor in the practicalities you have stated above not to mention your own fragility and state of mind.

I dont know you or the family you are going to meet however I would personally leave a meeting as important as this one may be to you to a time when you have peace and quiet around all involved.

Whatever you decide though I wish you luck and hope it all works out well!

there we go LC, 2 different perspectives for you to consider.

Thanks zen, I don't know the family I'll be meeting either, as mum said if I do decided to go (which I'm more leaning towards) then to see if I can go down to Hawera a day or so before the wedding and meet them or some of them then. At least that way I'd know more than just one person, and might give a chance to meet my birth mother before the wedding too that way neither of us are kinda just thrown into a crowd.

good for you LC, looking forward to the outcome for you!

OK, well no-one seems to mind if I go, and supposedly they are all looking forward to meeting me. Now I'm freaking out about what to wear.

Look you will look great no matter what, be confident if you can.

Honey, you will shine no matter what you wear, it comes through in your threads. How exciting, go and have a fabulous time. Who did you decide to take with you???.

Mum and dad have talked about it and I've thought about it as well and we all reckon Kate (younger sister), they say I'm aloud to bring a partner. Wondering whether a skirt or pants?? I think it would be too cold for a dress unless it was a long dress in which case I'd rather be wearing a long skirt I think.

Long skirt sounds good. Do you have a fab jacket to go on top???

HEHE I have my 21yr old daughter living with me, so if you need a loan of something I can flick you though some photo's. I may not be that young, but I do have some amazing jackets, (daughter could help me pick). So maybe between the 2 of us (daughters away at the mo, but she would love to help) we could help you, if you need.

I don't even own a long skirt, gonna have to find one, though I do have a black 3/4 one. Got quite a few jackets but nothing really that I think is suitable for a wedding.

WHAT SIZE ARE YOU???Would you like me to send you through (pm) some photo's of what I and my daughter have???. What date is the wedding?? as daughter is away till later in the week, but I can go through her stuff if need be, (honestly she will not mind, cos she's a honey). She is a 12-14, I am a 10

hmmm I'm about a size 14-16 it varys really. Its 1st August so got a few weeks

yeehahhh you must send us photos when you are dressed up and ready to go!

Will send you a pm tomorrow, once I have had a look.

Well my sister is really excited to be going. I'm excited to, but also really nervous and scared. Thanks peterpam, yes mylife I will put up a pic

gr8