Hi from claire sky

I wish it was a clear sky but all i see is dark clouds at the moment!

I should change my name to doom and gloom!

I havnt been on for a couple of weeks I havnt had the energy to do anything at all! My ex came back for a few days and we managed to have the mother of all fights which involved alot of yelling, pushing and shoving and breaking things! Dont worry im fine but all that was me, he did nothing during the fight it was all me! I scared him and myself with all this anger i let loose! Im afraid all this time of bottling it in and putting on a brave face i have been slowly creating a monster within myself who is now taking over!

For those of you who had my cell phone number im sorry i dont have that phone anymore as it is now smashed and i dont even think i should replace it, i feel so alone even when people are caring about me.

Anyhow im fine, im still alive, still smoking, no drinking though, none at all, not even 1 drop!

Well thats it from me, but thank you to those that noticed i havnt been on in a while! Big thank you to Monsta, and Roswell, you guys are awesome! Hope things with everyone else are good! Look forward to chatting with you all again soon! And someone please update me on whats been hapenning!

XXoo

whats been happening is good.
All good stuff.
Claire,
its so important to be truthfull and honest,especially where ones emotions are involved.Staying clear and responsive is what you should aim for....

Only when you are fully yourself can you love.
Holding back does no-one any good,and creates a messy future.
One thing to watch out for is guilt!
There shouldnt be anything of this nature behind your self expression.
All guilt is conditioning from the Outside world!
You are closest to yourself in the inside,stay inside and live in the outer world and all is Won.

Stay you.

When you have cleared your mind in this way,
remember your meditation and this will settle you deep within your heart where you feel the best.

with love
gm

Hi Claire. I dont know your story very well but I second greasemonkeys opinion that letting out the anger is a good thing

Try not to isolate yourself too much k?

HI Claire

Please give me a call asap. I think you really need to be in touch and 'no pressure'. Rossy is offline for a bit but I will txt him and let him know how you are.

I hope things ease up for you a bit now and you get some peace.

Love you heaps babe

Monsta

...and good on you for the no drinking even under pressure, you go girl!

Hey hun I was wondering where you had go to.. good to hear your ok and looking forward to meeting ya in the chat box again when your ready..

If your keen for a coffee or something the nxt couple of days maybe me u monsta and whoever else is keen we could organise something xxx

hi clair,

i am pleased you have let us know how you are. and please dont forget we are here if you need us for anything at all. even if its just to sit and vent for a bit.

Stay safe hunny bunch and we will see you soon

Belle xx

Thanks for your words of support guys! I truely appreciate hearing them!

Im trying not to isolate myself but at the moment i dont feel worthy enough to be around anyone but yip in time id love company but at the moment im just trying to recover my mind and body. Ive stepped away from the alcohol that is definately behind me but i hav other demons to battle.

Its funny greasemonkey should mention the word guilt??? HOW DID YOU KNOW???? I constantly live in guilt and i dont entirely know why!

H claire, Great to see you here! As GM says - guilt - anything to do with depression and alcohol is almost surely to have elements of:

guilt
anger
resentment
despair
disappointment
disillusion
and other negative feelings/emotions ......

and we wonder why we don't feel right!!!!!!!!

hope you're OK .... hugs, Daze

Claire hon. you know im just down the road if you want a coffee. Please dont isolate ..... you do deserve to have people around you hon and it does help...but again no pressure. Though I know ill be needing a coffee fix at some point over the weekend lol.

Take care babe

Hugs

Monsta

ps Rossy is without a PC atm and wont be online but I have let him know how you are and he wishes you great big hugs and sends lots of love your way!