STIGMA for Men,THIS TAKING OF DRUGS.

as a man,Ive noticed inbuilt in myself,some resistance to taking anti depressant drugs,
or doing anything that appears significantly like I have some disorder in My Mind.
Its as though society has unknowingly programmed all the men into thinking BLUFF-IT and carry-on regardless.
There is definately a huge gap between Men who know themselves and men who have either LOST IT or have never known,what it is like to FEEL WHOLE,as well as special in their Breeding.

Yet, drugs are an aide we cannot dissassociate ourselves with,IF WE LOVE OUR FAMILY.
SURE,some do it hard Turkey and i admire them using their strength in this way,
but I also see some men going-overboard,
even within mens Groups today.
Such a shame
this dying
business.

How then can a partner assist their lover to go for aide of somekind,when they notice the darkness of depression setting into their spouse,and not shifting for days on end?

When I first went to a Mens-Group,it were out of recognition(finally)thatsomething were wrong,that i mayhave depression.Took me ages it Did,and i were not gonna have any Psyche-Idiot tell me before i truely knew what were up,as ive seen others go down that track and they wernt sick at all,they became convinced to believe that something were wrong with them.
I were sick.
Two years after a Home Invasion,and broken Bones,loss of wage earning possibilities due to a spinal condition after the Fight,and an almost LOSS of the Home we had both striven to purchase
were driving me Nuts.

The Blokes I met,were of all shapes an sizes,some i didnt like,creepy and snake-ish,some Gay and OUT-THERE,making fools off themselves,or so I thought.But i hung in there with them,mainly to get the gist of what they were appearently doing for each other;simply BY listening.
It appeared to me,
through listening,and without being allowed to comment on another Blokes Story,
that we were getting to experience some compassion for each other,
the thing which stopped them speaking were a Stick!
Sure,
a stick,
a small hand held stick about 200mm long,
a bit twisted like, yet smooth enough to fit comfortably in the hand.
NO-ONE were allowed to say a Damn Thing,if someone picked-up that stick in the centre of the Ring of Men,sitting on the Floor.If you had the Stick,you had FREE licence to say what ever you wanted,in any language you wanted and in anyway you wanted,and the others would shut-up-shop,and learn to listen.
This listening were infact a finite way
for Men to get to find they could interiorise a little of another mans Life,trials and difficulties
and this taking-in of another Mans pain was also lightening the Story tellers load in Life.
This prompted Myself to Grab the Stick after a few weeks attendance;I were a Careful mover watching with attention as I never trusted anyone,let alone Myself!
Sometimes one had to be quick
to lean-forwards and grab the stick before Others got it,
and often there was a lunge of Big-Bodies
when the Stick were dropped into the centre of the group,by one of the group leaders.

Blokes would start off,
extremely slowly at first,
Some just wanted to feel STRONG with the Stick-in Hand,
and having Got-It,would hardly speak at all!
But the idea were to tell of your-own situation in Life,
what your day were like,what work were like(or no-work)or what Home Life were like
having seccumed into some kind of difficulty in their Lifes;the reason to be here in the group.
Everyone had something to say,
But the ONLY FEEDBACK which were allowed was to reflect back to the speaker,
exactly what the Speaker had said,when they had the Stick.
ie,if you didnt have the stick you kept your trap shut
untill you were able to grab the stick when released by another.
This gave all Men the Same Chance,and also kept the GURU aspect of teachers, men who have all the Answers(like Me) off the Floor and diverting the growth which is available to men,
as THEY FIND THEIR WAY IN OTHERS STORIES!

cheers.something for your Husbands and lovers,
if you havnt allowed yourself into the mens Dept of TBBD!

I had the same problem until I had a recent meltdown, DG, I think it scared the bejesus out of him, frankly. I have to keep reminding him that the tiredness and the slow reactions etc aren't laziness but part of the illness. It is tiring having to keep reiterating it over and over and over again.

His family are of the same 'get over it' mould as yours by the sound of it.

How do you get men to talk about depression, either yours or theirs? Seems to be a really taboo subject..

[b]I wish i knew how to talk to him about it without the bullcrap i have to deal with. Its just so annoying. He just doesn't want to have to deal with it.

Dolphingurl wrote:My husband doesn't like the fact that i'm on antidepressants. Seems to think i don't need them and can cope without them. He thinks things like that are unnesscesary and these disorders such as depression are all in the head so to speak. Frankly, i think i need them and cannot cope without them. Since when are men perfect and since when are they able to become a Dr. For some reason men seem to think they are superior to us females. That simply isn't true. My husband just needs to be there for me a bit more and understand how i feel. I have to retrain him every couple of weeks, but if i have to do that, then so be it. But you men need to get over your superior complex and start listening to us females.

I hear you
loud AN CLEAR,
Gurl.

That a wide paint brush you have painted-me with
but Im sure,youre just feeling over-generous
what with xmas upon us
as such!

love

lowdown wrote:I had the same problem until I had a recent meltdown, DG, I think it scared the bejesus out of him, frankly. I have to keep reminding him that the tiredness and the slow reactions etc aren't laziness but part of the illness. It is tiring having to keep reiterating it over and over and over again.

His family are of the same 'get over it' mould as yours by the sound of it.

How do you get men to talk about depression, either yours or theirs? Seems to be a really taboo subject..

This is true,
but it is also true BOTHSIDES of the Fence...

I think unless one is already endowed with a hint of compassion,we are all at fault of not knowing what is going on
with ppls in depression,as you have noted,here in the thread!
Society has the Problem.
It is upto us,those who KNOW what its like to SUFFER
to get it accross how discusting societies attitude is regarding MENTAL illness.

People that havnt suffered dont know what we are dealing with in this dept.
Unless you know,youre guessing about what a Person is Battling with
and lets face it,EVERYONE is so self centred they dont have sufficient time to place
where their Heart has Lead them.

Im so glad to Have depression,
as ive learnt alot about Myself,
and have grown enormously
when it comes to understanding mankind,
which includes Women.
I guess my Wife certainly has been a Great help,
but as you all know,
you have to take the risks we all do
when we want to make changes to Ourself.
love