Supporting someone long-distance

Hi all,

I've been helping out my close friend with her first bought of depression. The problem is that I'm based in Auckland and she's in Wellington. So this makes it quite a strain at times when the best means of conversation to help her through it is via phone, facebook chat or email.

One of the tough things is not really being there to actually support her to get to her assessments, or actually getting what's going on from the expert. I feel it starting to put a real strain on our friendship when I'm trying to explain things through along-distance medium and without seeing what's really going on.

Any advice? I'd love to know some good recommendations for psychologists or counsellors in the Wellington area to recommend to her as well.

Thanks in advance!

I know all about Long distances as when I met my wife she lived up in Kerikeri & I was here in Rotorua City. We commutted for 6 mths & then she came to live with me & been 2gthr 6 years & will have been married 4 years this coming February.

I think all of those mediums are good ways of communication, understandably they are a poor cousin to being there in the flesh so to speak Sometimes a fb message is a good way to clearly communicate your thoughts and feelings and other times a card of encouragement in the mail will make their day. Could you perhaps plan a long weekend to get down there and administer some real life hugs - they can be great medicine for a weary soul!! I hope you can find a way through this - I think you are an awesome friend, I mean you even took the time to ask on her All the best

* last line should read "ask on here" not ask on her - really should attempt some sleep at almost 4am

i've been in that situation - supporting someone from afar, but we were a little bit closer together. (2 hours drive) and so if there was a crisis or important appointment i could actually get there and be in the flesh.

I have tried to support my sister who lives down the road from where i work and not succeeded in any way. (i'm sure the little things I've done mean something to her, but we don't have a friendship)

Anyway, my lesson was that i can only help and support if they trust me enough to be there - whatever the medium.

so for you, you can' only do what you can do. it might seem like not enough to you, but i bet your friend wouldn't' trade you for the world.