your advice please.. kids and drug use.

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Hey there.

How old is ur son? My brother has just turned 21. - he is into weed. My mum
caught him when he was 16 smoking dope in the house. She didnt know how to act. My father-mums husband-brothers father also, is very into weed. So its seen as ok in my house.

Sorry I am trying to get to the point but I just wanted you to know where it was coming from.

Just be straight up, and say look if you have been doing any kind of drugs in my house it has to stop.

Honest is the best.

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Teens will try stuff. The only thing you can do is be there if they fell down. - thats how my mum as raised me, and I know what ever my problem is she wont be upset she will just help me get back up

One good thing. Weed doesnt do as much harm as other drugs.

Maybe a quiet word in the ear of a WINZ Case Manager, who might be able to 'encourage' a more proactive approach to life and job-seeking?

I don't know that the CM would be able to 'talk' to you about your son, without his written authority, but they can listen, I'm sure. If not, they should.

He is also smack bang in the right age group to benefit and grow under the LSV Scheme
http://www.workandincome.govt.nz/individuals/a-z-benefits/limited-service-volunteer-lsv.html

This parenting stuff ain't simple, is it? Good Luck eh - for your lad, too. He's lucky he's loved as much as he is and one day, he'll remember to tell you that himself. PaddyPromise.

Paddy.

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hiya wow

how old is your son?

my son started using pot a couple of years ago
i took him to the dr and the dr had a good chin wag with him
and found he was suffering from depression

i believe my son was self medicating
and from what you have written it sounds to me like your son may be doing the same

pot is not good for a growing brain
it prevents new connections being made
a young mans brain is growing just as fast as it was when he was a baby
my dr has stressed to me and my son to stay away from pot, and any other mind altering substances until his brain has stopped growing.
pot can induce depression and psychosis, also it can induce schizophrenia.

perhaps a look into why he is using, and you know if he is, in your gut you know, it may be that he needs some help.

good luck!

Hi all,

Mum mum caught me doing drugs a few years ago and also didn't know how to react. The way I passed it was meeting my partner and getting out of school. Get away from people who showed it to me.

She doesn't know I have depression, however, I believe I was starting to head down the track of depression and that just tipped me off the edge.

Many things were also happening in my life at that time that didn't help.

I guess, I know where your son is coming from. Eg - No job, not at school, no ambition to do anything. I seems like he could be going down that path maybe. Plus friends are influencing him the wrong way.

I know this will never happen, but sometimes the best thing to do is get away from it all. Get up and leave where you are. Change the scenery and show him the beauty in life. But I completely know both sides of the story unfortunately.

Just keep an eye on him. One day you'll be able to laugh with him about it, like I can with my mum. Just at the time, I understand it's difficult for the both of you.

As Wop said, weed isn't the most harmful drug, BUT it is certainly a gateway drug. I'm sure you know that though.

I know I can't give much advice, but be there for him. Show him things to maybe keep his mind off it. Find something that could take his fancy.

I don't know.
BUt good luck! Truthfully.
Qwerky

Hello Wow .... Could you get in touch with the local (hospital based?) alcohol and drug service. Just to have a chat with an addictions counsellor. Someone could probably talk through the options you have.

Weed isn't harmless at all - can lead to reduced motivation etc etc, and in some cases drug-induced schizophrenia. Of course, teenagers are 'bullet proof' and it's hard to get them to listen.

Good luck with finding something that can help ............... Daze

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hi wow

i really feel for you and the position you are in
its terrifying
i am still trying to convince my son to stay away from pot
his depression is still not yet totally resolved

but
what i can tell you
is that your gut is right
just go with that
i know that for me
my gut is the only thing i can trust

my son isnt willingly coming forward with information

so i have to go with what i know to be true
it hasnt put me wrong yet
but oh my god i wish i were wrong

because dealing with our own mental illness is one thing
but dealing with your childs is something else

i hope you have lots of support and i hope things pan out for your boy
take care

p.s
at least you have a wealth of knowledge in yourself about this,
it is one thing i am grateful to my own illness and addictions for, that i am able to use what i know and have learnt, to help the very important person in my life, my darling son

hugs to you wow

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Good on you Wow - that was a great way to handle the situation .... and all good wishes going to Trentham today! ........... Daze

wow

i got goosebumps reading your last post

good on you
little steps aye
i am in the same boat

i am like you, trying not to sink

good luck for your boy for today

and big big BIG hugs to you

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Wow you are a clever lady indeed and you discerned intuitively exactly how to approach your lad.

Well done you.

I have said a Hail Mary for him this night because dope is not the route for a young growing brain. It kills off grey cells and neurones like you wouldn't believe.

Believe in him and I bet you've just earned yourself a whole lotta respect from him he will be wondering how the hell you managed to get it out of him.

The poor wee things think we were born yesterday.

Love Martine