"The drugs don't work, they just make it worse and I ..."

I really like the song that those lyrics come from and it is a fitting title to my present thoughts and experience with Antidepressant medication. I'm STILL not getting any good results from any Antidepressant that I have tried lately. I've been on Mirtazipine and then an increased dose of that...now I'm on Mirtazipine and Venlafaxine and so far it's not promising...I really want it to be...I'd love to feel better and for me to be more functional because lately I haven't been. I am so sick of this...arghhhhhhhh!! Maybe meds and me are not a good combo? Hmmm...I'll think on that for a while. Thanks for listening.

Hey Becks, sorry to hear that meds arent doing that much for you. After years of trialling this and that and everything else I can understand your frustration. I dont know if this helps but i have got to the point where i realise that meds arent going to do it for me at all. Whilst that is a really scary thought, I have also realised that it is up to me. If I dont get up everyday and do my best, if i dont do the things that i have realised keep me (semi)sane, if I dont do what keeps me semi on the level, then meds will never do anything. It is NOT easy and i dont mean to be trivial at all, its just that sometimes meds wont work, they wont do much at all and scary as it is, its up to us to do all we can to get and stay (semi)well. It has taken me a REALLY long time to recognise what is bad (and what is good) for me, and whilst these things are often difficult, I have realised that recovery is not about never feeling depressed (cos that aint gonna happen i have realised!) it's about doing the best I can each day. It has also meant that I have had to cut a shitload of people from my life that think i should just 'get over it!' and hang on to those people who are gentle with me and encourage me without expecting me to be the smiley, joking person they would like me to be. This isn't easy and I have days when this is totally impossible, but in the end I try to remind myself that I have a responsibility to try, for me and for my friends and family who love me and want me to be here (even though sometimes It doesn't seem like it!) I dont know, I guess I just want to say - hang on - in the midst of the worst storm there will be a ray of sunlight that is warm and bright and even if it only lasts a minute - it can be worth it.....

@.imstillstanding.

That, my dear, is a fantastic post.

I am also discovering that there is no cure all antidepressant which will make me hopeful, cheerful, confident and its scary to think of the millions of people who actually take them in the hope that they will.

The ad's I have tried since Novemer last year range from the new atypicals to the old fashioned imipramine family of meds.

I am still miserable, but I must say the tears have stopped.

I am focussing on clever people on the internet who teach us how to choose our thoughts, chase the horrible ones with a positive one, and trying to reach self appreciation and acceptance.

I even went to a Catholic mass service this evening which was a challenge on several levels but I went and felt better for it.

Learning to forgive in the early stages still but I am willing to try.

I don't really know if the drugs work either .... When I was first given anti-depressants my Dr didn't rush into it ... and told me they would take about 10 days to 2 weeks to work ... on about the 10th day I woke up feeling sort of brighter!

I have had changes in meds - some were worse than what was wrong in the first place - feeling phyically sick, thoughts of harming people etc.!!

Many times I have cut down - only to find I start crying all the time and can't function at all really.

I wonder if my med now really only helps me sleep. I take Dopress (Dothiepin), used to be called Prothiaden (why do they keep changing names???) it's an older Tricyclic.

I do believe that counselling and psychotherapy have helped me understand myself .... and the way my dysfunctional family operates (and I don't want to be part of that anymore)

So, for me, information has been important, getting in touch with 'frozen feelings', etc, and I remember my Dr telling me:

'Sometimes people need drugs only, others find counselling helpful and some people find a combination of both works best.'

I'm one of the 'combination works best' people!!!

And yes, .Imstillstanding your very good post makes sense to me - even if I scream and shout (to myself) WHY AM I THE ONE WHO HAS TO MAKE ALL THIS EFFORT ... I didn't cause all this in the first place .... THEN - I take back my personal power (as my therapist called it) and get on with my day! (Might take till 10 ish or 11 ish ... Lol) I have a lot of 'ishes' in my life these days! ...................... Daze