I just wanted to say hi to everyone.

hi my name is mena, ... i dont think i suffer from depression but i do have many different,
what i call mental states... i hope it is ok for me to be here and if not i will go...

i suffered childhood sexual abuse as a child and because of this i now selfharm and have
many other problems... i also know i have a split personality because of this... i like to call it
my inner child stuff...

i would love to think i could be a bit of support here..

ohh i am a single mother with 3 children and i live in uk..

ty for this site.

Mena, Welcome.

I'm really pleased you found us. Of course it is OK for you to be here - as often as you want or need to be.

I was abused too - I have cut marks on my arms and legs, and I've been in the 'bin' - all from before I could ever say a word about it to anyone. And yeah, I very rarely drink these days, its too nice.

It was reluctant participation in an Art Therapy group with a very astute counsellor, that opened the first cracks and let me acknowledge and start to find a way to learn that I'm ok and that its ok to like myself sometimes.

But its a long climb up, isn't it? And you're doing it AND raising three children? Wow. Thats some accomplishment.

Take care,
Pat.

Hi Mena Welcome from us. You said that you live in the UK, how did you find the thread? It's nice that the thread is spreading around the world. lol Thanks Pat for starting the thread.

lol, I'm blushing. Thank you.

This is something I've thought about for a long time, especially when well developed threads which have helped people, have disappeared from the TradeMe Message Board. Don't get me wrong, I love the TM Boards - its just well, frustrating to lose touch with the inspiration that some of those messages contained. And the pain, too.

The Big Black Dog just happened by accident. I was thinking about it on Saturday night and the possibilities it might give people, I stumbled over the means of doing this and here we are.

I am way outside my comfort level (and level of computer abilities) but this was something I felt compelled to at least try. If I didn't, then I couldn't complain about how things sometimes are on TM.

Does The Big Black Dog have a future? I don't know, but I've dared to dream, and thats not like me.

I hope you're having a good night?

Pat.

Hi, i found u through forumotion, the people who host yr website... i am (well was ) a owner of a forumotion site for sexual abuse support.. http://abns.forumotion.com/... i changed from forumotion and bought my own site... www.sexualabusesupport.org.uk... so i found u because i am still a member of forumotion i gues...

Pat please if u need any help with anything what so ever i would be only to willing to help u out and explain stuff to u about admin panel... anything at all i could help u with.. just ask...

also i hope this site grows because we need some good support sites and it helps so much when we feel we are understood...

also pat if u wanted to i would add yr site on our links and then people would be able to find u around my site too.... its up to u... and maybe u could add us as a link to yr site...

but honestly anything at all ... i would be only to willing to try and help u out...

long me we all stay united ..

ohh and by the way i can send u some good old smileys it u wanted them to use ... and they are easy to add .

ty .. mena

Mena,
Hi, and Thank You.

Yep, I could do with all the help I can get, because I have no idea what I'm doing, except that it feels like something that has to be done - if not by me, then by someone, anyway.

I'll pop over to your site shortly - I'm kinda envious that you have a 'real' URL and site of your own - I'd love for the The Big Black Dog (or a Forum like it) to survive, grow and help people to find a sense of community, a haven, a place to share stories, fears, hopes, dreams and struggles, that they can visit whenever they feel the need.

Yes please, to links. If anyone anywhere wants to help spread the word about The Big Black Dog, I'd be very grateful. I shall certainly add a link to your site, Mena (if you um, tell me how, lol).

Smileys? I suppose just coz I'm not much in a smiling mood right now thats no reason to deny others them. Yes please.

I see that our membership is well into double figures now - well, 13 is a double figure, lol and we only started four nights ago. I predict that within a year, we could be up to oh, at least 15.

Have a great day and thanks for your kind offers of support. I hope that life is treating you well and that you're safe and happy.

Take care,
Pat.

lol, well you got 15 and it didn't take you anywhere near a year to get there. Congrats on getting this up and running Pat.

Hi, LG,

Thanks and welcome to The Big Black Dog.

16 members all ready. Crikey!

I just wish my Lotto number predictions were as quickly realised, sigh.

I just want to say hi as well...I am more of a lurker than a poster...I have depression...i don't talk about it much...have noone to talk about it really...at least not till I found the thread on TM...but all you beautiful and brave people have your own troubles...mine aren't as bad as yours...so I will post occasionally...but mainly lurk as I get ideas on getting through my days from what you all write...thank you paddy from the bottom of my heart.

Britelite,
No, Thank You. Because not only did you visit and lurk (which is cool - we all need to find our own comfort levels here and eleswhere), but you were brave enough to dip you toe in the water and say Hi.

That is a gutsy thing to do. Living with mental illness can suck. No, it does suck. But Thank God, the degrees of suckiness can and will vary and if one is not careful, you can find the day halfway gone before you even realise its one of your better ones.

Social isolation is to me, one of the more cruel aspects of being unwell. Childhood taught me that being a loner was a survival tool, but I know I need at least a few people in my life. However I seem to end up pushing them away - leave me alone, go away. So, with few exceptions, they do. I avoid crowds (4 people in a shop is a crowd), so thats another problem.

Which makes the Internet a very important social networking tool for me.

Hence, The Big Black Dog. I can have more social interaction in a day on Message Boards such as TM and here, as I would otherwise get in three months. And cos I don't think I'm alone in being that insulated from the world I decided to see what might happen if I let The Big Black Dog bark for a while.

Come back whenever you need to - and use this Forum in what ever way feels comfortable to you.

Have a great day and stay safe.
Pat.

Paddy thank you for your welcome,
I had a wonderful childhood, with loving parents that most kids wanted for their own...I was very lucky...we never had any money and grew up in a secondhand world but none of us cared...my depression from a collection of things and events which have occured in my adult years...I recently tried to talk to my hubby about it which was a waste of time...he doesn't get it I can't force him to understand but it would be nice...I was at a point where I was having a lot of really nasty thoughts when I found the depression fred in TM...it was a blessing...then I stumbled into the smokers lounge and the gals in there give me a couple of good laughs everyday...certain people have been life savers and I don't think they even realize...each time one of those threads a voted off my heart drops to my toes...silly I know...so now I can add this site to the list of VIP things in my life...sorry I'm babbling...take care and I will chat again.

Britelight,
You 'babble' as much and as often as you need to.

No, you can't force a partner to understand - and thats a real shame.

Yep, the people on the TM Message Boards can be a help, thats for sure - most of them, anyway. I know they've helped, inspired and supported me at times when I've desperately needed it and yes, we DO lose a lot when those Threads go from TM. So, The Big Black Dog is here - all we need, is to make use of it when the need arises. And pass the word arolund, lol.

Hey, and its cool that you had a wonderful childhood - are you able to draw on your store of good memories from then, to help lift you a wee bit these days?