swallowing it all down

I am struggling with releasing all this stuff I have swallowed down since childhood. It screams to come up, and when I do actually release some, it seems like I got it all for a while, but more tends to build up and I hate crying so much. Anyone else have this or is it just me? I had a really good hour with my counselor last week and she was really good, and I released what I thought was most of it. But I chose to swallow the rest I think. I don't know why. I do feel a lot lighter than I did before, I suppose that is something, and my bad stress levels are not as high as before, but today it's so hard to let go of what they did to me, its really really hard. Just wondering if anyone can relate.

Hi Angel, I think it's very common to 'release' in short or long bursts! It may be too overwhelming to release all at once. Seems to be the nature of getting the cr** out. And it's very tiring to experience all that emotion. I have been advised to sit quietly for a while after an emotional blowout - the amount of energy it takes can be huge. Take your time and nurture yourself really well just now. Hope you find this helpful. Good to see you here. Daze

Hi Daze, thank you for your reply. I'm just finding it difficult at the moment. Some days are harder to get through than others. This is one of them. I understand that I put the lid back on my coke bottle and well... I guess that is ok... I can let it out in short or long bursts if I want to.
My body reacts in a strange way when it wants me to release something. I feel like there is a demon trying to come out, and I am like the guard holding it there; like it's my duty to hold that demon hostage as I have done for x amount of years, and I'm finding it hard to change that. I hope I am understood here... I find it hard to explain things sometimes.

Thanks

Angel