Who I Am

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Re: Who I Am

Post by Guest on Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:05 pm

Yes depression does have a way of bringing people to thier knees.

It even puts them in the crap up to thier neck,

But there are ways to get out...is there not,

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Re: Who I Am

Post by greasemonkey on Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:19 am

who am I.
many years ago
i intuited a poetic piece of writing during my search for Self.

I share it with you!

Neither this nor that
Black or white
up and down,
yet each in itself
perfect in action,
who am I when
I am Not the Whole?
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Re: Who I Am

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:51 am

aww peterpam, I hope that secret is no more, for if you both still truely love one another it is not worth breaking up over,

stay strong and be comforted by the statement " I no longer feel a failure" because you are not.

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Re: Who I Am

Post by peterpam on Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:47 am

Aww mylife, a partner. is someone you should be prepared to share everything/anything with. someone who can not only take comfort, but give comfort, knowing there is love and trust. When that doesn't happen, then we have a breakdown Houston and we have a breakdown. I am moving on. doesn't mean he is not in my thoughts most days, but he longer breaks my heart. For me hun, I have to have honesty. No I am not a failure, infact I am a pretty darn fabulous person, that just got caught up in something, out of my depth.

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Re: Who I Am

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:17 am

Very Happy afro

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Re: Who I Am

Post by peterpam on Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:07 pm

Life moves on. I have stayed away from this journal for some time as I was finding it all to hard. Yesterday I revisited it again and reread all I had written and again the tears streamed/cascaded down my cheeks. The difference was, that it wasn't because of sadness, it was that I am now in a much happier place spiritually. Much healing has been done and I now know that I am able to move forward with love. Interesting really as thoughout my life I have experienced sooo much pain. Gosh when I really think about it, god knows how someone survives all of that and come out the other side feeling mostly healed. I am truley very lucky and amazingly grateful, yep even for all the pain. Its been a challenge and at times I have so wanted to throw in the towel, but somehow I found courage. Actually I know how I found courage, it was through death. I watched someone I loved die and watched the courage that he showed. There was little good that I could take from that time, but I took his courage with me. I want to thank him so much for that experience. and for this amazing gift he passed to me. I'm just rambling today really, sitting here watching the world go by, a grey day, traffic starting to busy, people walking, some off to work others out getting morning excercise and its just so lovely to be here and to be able once again, to smell the coffee.
I was just sitting here thinking of all the tears I have shead over the last couple of years, oh man I must have filled some buckets, lol, but now when I cry its because I can feel, its because I feel love with rememberance, its because I am loved, its because, having come through all of my pain, I can give love, its because I am love. I still have my days, but I have the skills to get through. I have been extremely lucky to have found the most beautiful man. Didn't think that it would happen again, but it has and I look forward to our future, as he is everything and more that I had asked for, I think I am truley blessed. Enough for today, maybe this is where my journal ends, maybe it where it starts, who knows, tomorrow is another day, but today I feel whole, I feel at peace and I feel loved, AMAZING.

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Re: Who I Am

Post by greasemonkey on Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:14 am

amazing we are!
If we could only understand that there is a purpose to Life.
This is it Pam....
this is IT!

I love you
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Re: Who I Am

Post by Guest on Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:27 am

well done PP, I hope the same feelings occur to all of us at some stage,

Smile

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Re: Who I Am

Post by peterpam on Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:48 am

Thankyou guys, I really beleive it is GM, theres always a reason a purpose and I truley believe if instead of seeing our pain as a negative, we take light from it we can all come through the other side with love. I feel so at peace for the moment and I am sooo proud of myself for doing the work and hell yes it does take doing the work. Reading, feeling, thinking, are are parts of our journey, but by far I think excepting is the final step in our healing. I except all of my lessons, all of my pain and I can move on with understanding. Good things come to those that wait, I waited and waited and waited and I think this is it, LOVE.An inner peace, I think I may just have done my time, I can be whole from here on. For all those who are going through hell right now, understand that there is truley a path you can follow, there will be many detours but so long as you take the lesson you will come back on path and find heaing. I hope this happens for each and everyone of you. Sending love.

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Re: Who I Am

Post by peterpam on Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:07 pm

Wow what a day, the suns shining and I'm sitting here at my putor watching the world go by, but enjoying every minute of it. Been away again for the last 3 nights, home this morning, thinking about my life, how happy and forfilling it is. The weekend was joyous, but apart from being with my lovely man, the highlight came last evening, when we just happened to be outside at around 8.45 and the sky, oh man, was that sky alive. Truley magic, red, orange, clouds rolling, incredible cloud formations and I saw it, well we saw it. Never before have I seen a sky like it, it was just so incredible and I got to expericence something sooo stunning and so exciting, the sky was alive and dancing. It just goes to show you that no matter how hard things are for people, there is always beauty/magic around us somewhere and sometimes its not too far away. Well I do hope, others got to experience what I did last night, because today, they will feel as i do, touch by beauty and grateful to be alive. What a night, what a morning, what a life, god I am just, soooo blessed, I have my life back and yep, its even better.

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Re: Who I Am

Post by Martine on Mon Jan 11, 2010 2:44 pm

Peterpam I am with you there.

Thick and thin, good and bac, no secrets or it ain't a relationship based on humanity decency and trust.

You love each other but he owes you the truth. It could be anything it could be nothing but its huge to him. Love and strength to you.

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