Helping support partners

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:48 am

Hey Newbie, hope you get through tomorrow OK. Wish there was something to say but if there is i can't think of it. Thinking of you though.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:11 am

Thank you 6egirl - you take care too Smile
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:31 pm

Got through Friday - took a lot of time out for myself and completed the tasks I needed to do on this special day. Took a donation to the Mental Health Education and Resource Centre in J's name. Several family members and friends had done the same after the funeral at our request.
The family came together for a dinner and we all had Curly Fries (a J favourite!) in her honour Smile
I am getting the constant sick stomach feeling that she's gone for real but it is a beautiful day and dogs need a play at the park. Hope everyone gets the good warm weather today.
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:24 am

I'm glad you have your dogs Newbie. I know for me my animals are my bridge to sanity and at times the only things that truely touch my heart. Enjoy your run in the park.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by peterpam on Sat Sep 12, 2009 5:41 am

Take care Newbie we are all thinking of you.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:08 am

How are you Newbie,

How many dogs do you have, what breed?

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:41 am

Donegal - the red Irish Terrier and Daisy, the Jack Russell x Bichon
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:46 am

One of my goats is called Daisy. She is also white. Big horns and a gentle spirit.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by 6egirl on Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:53 am

Hi everyone, just checking in to see all are ok. Newbie - how are you doing? Thinking about you lots and wondering if you Ok
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by 6egirl on Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:02 am

Mr 6egirl has had his anti-psychotics reduced. What a difference. For 18 months I have lived with a man who looks like my husband, occasionally reminds me of my husband, but wasnt really my husband. he is more like himself without so much meds. If this doesnt work, its ECT. Fingers crossed he doesnt start to go manic again. just wanted to share. I love you to all
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:13 am

That's awesome news 6egirl!
First day back at work today with all the accompanying supportive/ uneasy/staying far away from me attitudes. However, another colleague 'came out' about his partner suffering depression and making an attempt on his life 12 months ago. If I can open up talking and sharing J's magic is working Smile
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:41 am

good news that it is working Newbie.

Be good to get the awkardness out of the way for you too..

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by peterpam on Tue Sep 15, 2009 8:45 am

That is good news 6egirl, you got your hubby back, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, hugs.

Hi Newbie, pleased you got through the day ok. Hopefully being back at work, will bring some normality back into your life and help you get through this sad time. Take care.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:08 am

yay for 6egirl!

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by greasemonkey on Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:10 pm

6egirl wrote:Mr 6egirl has had his anti-psychotics reduced. What a difference. For 18 months I have lived with a man who looks like my husband, occasionally reminds me of my husband, but wasnt really my husband. he is more like himself without so much meds. If this doesnt work, its ECT. Fingers crossed he doesnt start to go manic again. just wanted to share. I love you to all

We are dealing with poisons Girl.

No healthy Dr has tried these drugs they give the mentally-unbalanced.

I took an active interest in the side effects these drugs were having on my body.
What I noticed were the SIDE-EFFECTS were worse than the symptoms of Depression I were initially struggling with.
Along with the Support of My Clinical Psychologist,
I learnt new-ways of working with (built-in) emotional pain, by utilising my dreams and other therapy modelities, and now I'm well clear of those foul things,
including the depression I had since year 2000...
I have truely capitalised on my healing journey;I feel liberated and wholly myself,
better than I have ever experienced in my life before. (I dont Lie)

Please dont joke about EC therapy as it is Bad Stuff.

Hubby maybe just looking for the way-out rather than be responsible for His Spiritual life!
The first step truely is the hardest in anything important in Life.

I wish I could come meet Him.
Sending you loads warm-cuddles to share with your Man.


Are you getting your own support for this (serious) situation Girl?
I do hope so.
love


Last edited by greasemonkey on Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:12 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : green paint)
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 15, 2009 7:10 pm

I hope it does work for both of you 6egirl, you both deserve happiness,

Smile

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by 6egirl on Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:29 am

Hey GM and all. Unfortunately I'm not joking about the ECT. That is what was discussed at his last psyhicatrist appt -this is after 18 months of not being able to stabllise him. However, I dont think we will need to consider ECT because his mood seems stable even though his anti-psychotics have been reduced. I would like him to get off the anti-psychotics altogether as now that he is on lithium for the bipolar, he seems to be OK. We tried to take him off before but he went extremely manic (however at that stage the bipolar had not been picked up). He has come a long way because he was extemely unwell. I totally understand what you say about the meds and the effect of the side effects outweighting the therapeutic effect, but I do also believe that had he not had them he would not be here today. Interesting what you say about his spirituality - you are right - he has no connection with it yet, but I think he will be starting on the journey. Yes, I have support - an amazing Clinical Psychologist and he has his own Clinical Psychologist (a male) - and it is costing a fortune - but if you dont have your mental health / health, then what do you have? Love to all, K
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by peterpam on Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:21 am

I just wanted to say a very big thankyou to all of you. Weather, you are the one suffering the depression or are the partner of, when you share with your partner you are just awesome. We need to share to be a team. Mylife your man is wonderful and so are you, you guys rock. GM, I love to hear of your love for your partner, it shows me there is hope. Newbie, I feel so sad for you, but I know you had love. Paddy thanks for sharing your connection, your'e a honey. To everyone else, I just loves yah, fanks, you make my day.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:40 am

We (as in myself, my mother and the furry family) went to the church we had J's funeral at for a Pet Service today.
J and I had taken the furry whanau every year for the past 4 years so it was a must on the Calendar.
It is always a joyful time to celebrate new beginnings - so far as during a Hymn, Donegal (the Irish terrier) joined in the singing
There was a time to reflect and light a candle to think of those we had lost both two and four legged - J got her candle and another was lit for past and missed furs.
Her family were also present and it was good but tragic and upsetting at the same time. I continue to talk and share her story to let people know that depression and the angst of mental health should not be hidden away, this feels good. The missing her feels bad.
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by peterpam on Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:07 am

Hugs Newbie, but sounds like you had a great day.

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Re: Helping support partners

Post by 6egirl on Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:12 am

Hi all, just checking in. Newbie - how are you doing? been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Mr 6egirl is doing well, I have been a bit up and down, love to all...K
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by greasemonkey on Sun Sep 27, 2009 10:00 am

6egirl wrote:Hey GM and all. Unfortunately I'm not joking about the ECT. That is what was discussed at his last psyhicatrist appt -this is after 18 months of not being able to stabllise him. However, I dont think we will need to consider ECT because his mood seems stable even though his anti-psychotics have been reduced. I would like him to get off the anti-psychotics altogether as now that he is on lithium for the bipolar, he seems to be OK. We tried to take him off before but he went extremely manic (however at that stage the bipolar had not been picked up). He has come a long way because he was extemely unwell. I totally understand what you say about the meds and the effect of the side effects outweighting the therapeutic effect, but I do also believe that had he not had them he would not be here today. Interesting what you say about his spirituality - you are right - he has no connection with it yet, but I think he will be starting on the journey. Yes, I have support - an amazing Clinical Psychologist and he has his own Clinical Psychologist (a male) - and it is costing a fortune - but if you dont have your mental health / health, then what do you have? Love to all, K


Go very carefull eGirl.
Its easy for the Dispensers to poison us in their meaningful-urgency
to put things right.

Mental illness is best cured with the Mind,not drugs.
The Body is Gross, the mind is Subtle.

What i have found out along the track
is that Sydol (a pain killer) has a wonderful side effect of stilling (calming)
the Mental Dialoque within the mind.

This will give Him the contemplative-peacefullness and well-being
He needs to miss-making the Horrible decisions ppl sometimes make
to get rid of Pain.

Pain is at the heart of all mental disease.

Open the heart and allow that pain to surface (without blame)
and sooner or later all pain is exhausted
and love is known.

Give your Man My love and attention.
Cuddles for you BOTH!
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by daze7 on Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:06 am

Hello Newbie, I'm just wondering how you're doing? I've been thinking of you.

Daze
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Newbie on Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:22 am

Hey Daze, 6egirl et al
Trying to come back to a new reality - trying meditation and the odd massage to get through the hard parts. Sadly, having a mentally ill Partner, who has taken their own life, does cast a shadow on you. J never 'displayed' her illness just struggled internally for a very long time. I get waves of guilt, sadness, pain but try to ride it out as much as I can
Thanks for checking in, appreciate it
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Re: Helping support partners

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:35 am

hey newbie,

nice to see you back. I know it is difficult and hope you know you are welcome here anytime.

What medication are you taking? I hope it is helping you because your great..

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Re: Helping support partners

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